Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Growing Diabetes

I'm learning the diabetes world gets bigger every day.  Two weeks ago, a friend's two-year-old son was diagnosed with diabetes, and the story is always the same.  They had no idea what was wrong, they started drinking a lot, peeing a lot, losing weight, and slowly losing energy. Yesterday I met another mom whose son was diagnosed with diabetes.  Same story.  I got the call that yet another child was diagnosed.  This time the sweet boy was eleven.  He's had a good childhood, so he knows what life without this insipid disease is like.  Sad.  At least when they get it young, they never really know the difference.

Anyway, I called the mom and we talked for a couple hours.  There's so much in the beginning.  I remember crying on and off for over a year.  I just couldn't believe it, and it was so hard to manage daily.  The many blood checks, the multiple insulin shots, counting carbs, watching for lows, checking her in the night, etc.  It seemed there was no end, and no mastery.  I feel better now, and I tried to give the new mom some insight.  I think (just like a death), you have to get over the anger (in your own time), and just deal with what life throws your way.  It wasn't going to go away, and I had to choose the attitude to show my daughter.
Mary Claire doesn't know the difference, as she doesn't remember eating before two years old anyway.  I think it's a tiny blessing-she got used to shots, needles, blood checks, and asking me before she ate at an early age.  She's not mad about it (although she asks why God made her different-and I tell her God knew she could handle it!), and isn't nervous to let other people know about her life.  Her pump is just like her right hand-always attached and just part of her.  I can really appreciate how brave she is, as I can be nervous in front of people (hilarious, I know).
I still really think God has a plan, and I still think it's better than what we could plan for ourselves.  I think it's just blind faith.  If I knew the outcome, it wouldn't require faith.  Of course I still struggle with why He allows things sometimes, but I will stand strong.  I'll know when I see Him in Heaven.  I think all the pieces will fall into place.
So, for now, I accept the diabetes (whom I called my third child until Ethan came along..), all the other chaos I am learning to love.  I think it's part of being a parent and human on Earth.  I certainly chose to be a parent, and rocky road (with marshmallows, please!) or not, I'll take it.  I receive so many blessings each day from these precious kids I get to call my own (including but not limited to: warm morning hugs, wet kisses, I-got-out-of-bed-just-to-see-you hugs, cheesy smiles, sweaty sleeping heads, chubby toes to wash, little colored socks to match, worn lovey blankets, freshly bathed skin, adorable freckles, big blue eyes even when they are puppy-dog-eyes, cuddles on the couch sharing a blanket, little surprise notes on my nightstand, ahhh..I think I could go on and on, a very good thing).

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.  Ephesians 1:3
*and it continues bringing us even more peace*
Furthermore, because we are united with Christ, we have received an inheritance from God, for he chose us in advance, and he makes everything work out according to his plan.  Ephesians 1:11

1 comment:

busymom said...

Could I just say *how* did I turn that black? Hmm... I couldn't have done it if I'd TRIED!