Thursday, December 31, 2009
How do you prepare to say goodbye when you know it's coming? We found out for sure on Tuesday (well, maybe Sunday with those pale positive tests) that we were pregnant again when I had blood work done. I was so very nervous to get excited again, so I held off. How do you insulate yourself from excitement? Fear will do it. I could say it was wise, as today we found out it is failing. My hcg is dropping, so it's only a matter of time. It's hard, to say the least. I don't want to stop my progesterone, but that won't really save anything, just prolong it. I can't figure out how to prepare myself, knowing it's coming.
How do you say goodbye to a sweet baby that's never really made it into the world? How do you ask those who've gone before you? You don't. It's too hard. I've learned that there are some paths you walk alone. And here I go.
There is so much to think about even as I go forward. Will we go this route again? I'd said I couldn't do this again. And I'm getting ready to do it again.
I have tons of questions, and I have an appointment to let my doctor field my millions of questions in two weeks. Hope he scheduled me enough time. Really.
Ches has done his best to distract me, bless his heart. He is precious, and indulgent. He got me a new van (and we thought we were preparing for another child..), then he surprised me with a new computer (a serious surprise!), and he just keeps trying to help me. He is going through it too, but I wear my feelings on my sleeve, and he is a man. He does it so much better than me! He asked me if I needed to go to Branson or go shopping. Bless his heart. Not like I have the energy or desire. I just want to stay in bed and sleep till it's over.
It's so amazing how much your perspective can change your attitude. It's wrong, but many of us do it.
I'm so thankful for what I have, and don't want to cheapen it by sounding like I take it for granted. I'm so blessed and so very thankful. I just set up in my mind this expectation (first mistake) that we could have more kids when we decided (second mistake-it's not all about me). I truly did take my fertility for granted. I'm still young, so why would I have a problem? Ugh. No one can answer my questions, and I doubt the doctor can either. It's a God thing. I am fully aware that He has a plan, and I just don't know what it entails. It shall come. I do know that if I get pregnant again (big question mark here right now), I will always second guess it, wonder constantly how long it'll last, and will have trouble enjoying it. I just will. You really take it for granted if you've never had a problem.
Ok, gotta move on. It was going to be short. Just lots of weight as I move to the new year. What will next year hold? My goals include cutting my stress, cleaning up even more. Maybe even streamlining my decor to make it more simple? (is making dusting easier a goal?), maybe calming down my colors (hahahahaha), I'll keep myself busy, don't worry.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
It's always busy, but this week is yuck. Monday night we made dinner for some friends, and as soon as the kids got out of school, we drove it to them. They loved it, and all wanted to live there! (in the country!) We saw a knobby tree, creek, and it was just so peaceful. : ) Then we headed back to town, stopped at Sonic for dinner (lotsa fun), and then everyone had to go to the bathroom in their back bathroom (more fun!). Next we took Ethan to the doctor (yes, Ches was in class or we'd have split up the kids!). He had a 102 degree fever, and had had icky poop since last Wednesday. It was determined he had an ear infection and a virus. We got our meds and on to the next errand (yes, I'm crazy). We went to Target to get some canned food (Campbell's was on sale!) and a movie (as we'd already been on the road for 3 hours at that point-what troopers!)-they picked School House Rock! Then to a local teacher store to get Clay's teacher some unifix cubes (they had a food drive-20% off your purchase with cans-hence the Target trip).
After that, we headed home finally. We were on the bypass with Ethan screaming about his eyes hurting, so I turned the video off. I thought maybe the bright light and being tired was hurting him. Maybe a bad choice, in retrospect? At our exit, he promptly threw up! I still don't know if it was more virus, new virus?, or car sickness, or Sonic? The kids started screaming it stunk. I pulled over, cracked the windows, and helped him through it. We got back on the road, and made it home. I had never been so thankful to pull in my driveway!
The kids were good, and started getting jammies on, snacks, and brushing their teeth, as I was cleaning up Ethan and getting him to bed.
I stayed up, cleaned off his clothes and the car seat cover, then ran them through the wash, then washed their coats (extra energy?). He got up a couple times, but never threw up again.
The next day, he woke up at 5:15, and our days started too early!! We took it slow-I was afraid to give him too much to eat. He did fine until around 4:30 or 5. His fever was up to 104.5, so I called the doctor again, and gave him Tylenol. He'd already had two doses of antibiotics (cleverly disguised in some cream soda), so why the spike? They suggested we come in and transferred me to appointments. Their first available was at 8:20! PM!
We took it, and then had to get on with our evening. Mary Claire had gymnastics from 4:30 to five, then we missed church (it was a holy day), and got Clay to his play at 6:15.
I took Ethan to the doctor while everyone else was tucked into bed. He got a flu test first (lovely swab up his nose), and waited 15 minutes for a negative result. Next he got a Rocephin antibiotic shot, and we waited another 15 minutes for a reaction. We didn't leave there until 10:06!
And it seems Ethan was quite the entertainment for the evening. He kept yelling, "No Thank You, No Thank You!" when she came to give him a shot. Then, "Booboo Hurts!" if I quit rubbing it. The nurses just thought he was so cute. I guess it was so late, they were getting delirious. We were the last people to leave! Then when I got preoccupied on the way home telling Ches about our visit, Ethan would yell out, "Ma-mop!?" and I'd ask what? "Booboo Hurts!"
So this morning, it was back for a chest xray, and it was negative. It appears to just be wheezing (inhaler 4x a day), and some mucus. . .
Ok, I have to finish another day. I have started three times, and it just isn't happening this week!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Clay had his movie birthday party-absolutely the Best Party! A little fun with the kids, as much popcorn and soda as you can hold (oh, yes, it upped the bathroom frequency..), a movie, and that's it! They clean up, and we go home. It was lovely, really. I would SO do it a million times over! : ) I hope there's a movie coming out for Mary Claire's birthday next year...I'll have to work something out with Disney. Heehee.
Then we had Thanksgiving here, very nice. More cake for Clay with family. Then we had his big dinner out Saturday night (he had his choice: Saturday for dinner or Sunday for lunch), and he chose Red Lobster. We like it too, but we remembered why we haven't taken the kids for a while: the $72 bill. The kid orders like a pro! He had the Ultimate Feast (only $22.99!) with lobster tail, crab legs, shrimp, fries, and I don't know what else. He ate every single bit of it, and brought the crab claws home and put them in the refrigerator (yes, it freaks me out just a tiny bit to see them). We actually do this from experience. If you let him keep them in his room, they begin to stink! Anyway, he got the big song and dance, and was adored. He was so sweet! He is very happy to be truly nine, and says he doesn't feel much different than he did at seven. (I don't feel much older than I did at 16 or 17, so I understand!)
Now we are back to school for the last three weeks, a countdown to Christmas. Advent has begun, and we already have two loops cut off of our chain. We are inching so close to Christmas. Is it me, or is this year going super fast!?
We've begun our Christmas card list (well, actually I've printed labels, and am halfway done sticking them and stamps on the envelopes!), toured the Lights of the Ozarks on the Fayetteville square, Christmas shopped with the kids (ha-fun, until Ethan no longer was allowed to keep adding to the cart-for himself!), and have put up one Christmas tree. I don't know why, but I'm feeling like keeping it so much more simple this year. I have two more (big) trees, and bazillions of garland for all the curtain rods and stair rails, etc. but I'm just wanting to celebrate more and decorate less.
The kids did get their trees out, and each got a new ornament Saturday afternoon. Mary Claire's lights aren't all working, and it's on my to-do list (to buy a new set!). We'll get there.
I like that Ethan's birthday is right after Christmas. He knows that it's coming, and I think he understands the "celebration" that goes with it. It's good that we have a Little People Nativity that he can play with, and we can remind him that it's Jesus' birthday too! Let's remember the Christ in Christmas this year! : )
Luke 1:30-33 (NRSV) The angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end."
Advent begins a new liturgical year for the church, so we begin fresh with the birth (and preparation!) for Jesus. I can remember finding out with each child when I was pregnant, and every time it was with immense joy. I can only imagine what Mary must have felt like to learn she was pregnant from an angel of God (and not a pregnancy test!). But to think that her tiny baby would grow to be a king and have an unending kingdom? How hard to conceive. I'm thankful for my humble kids who will grow up not as kings, but mere servants. I know she was an amazing woman to have found favor with God!
Monday, November 9, 2009
I really like these days. Sometimes I don't get to help anyone outside my family, and I just love to be available! There were some screamers, one who passed out (hyperventilated really), lots of tears, and some surprising brave kids who didn't need anyone to hold their hand or anything! They actually surprised me more than anything else I saw today! : ) Maybe I stand amazed since I hyperventilate at the sight of a needle, so the young people who don't - wow.
My kids only got the h1n1 flu mist today, so they weren't afraid. Clay did plug his nose, and wouldn't let the nurse spray into it for a couple minutes. It just prolonged the process, but he didn't realize that. I went through with some kids I knew and some I didn't. It's almost better if they aren't with their parents; they almost behave better! I think their bravery shows.
We are still busy-at-it, with basketball pictures and practice tonight, the same tomorrow, and a JDRF event tomorrow. I've pretty much accepted lots as standard, so I'm fairing well. I am into a great book, so now I'm pretty preoccupied! I haven't watched tv in a while, and I have to finish! I'm into three books currently, but it's fiction, so somehow it goes faster! I'll be done in a couple more days. I love to throw in some fiction for fun (and escape from real life?) now and then!
Ok, so my posting is less frequent, and lower quality...heehee, like it was ever great. I feel like it's between errands now, but I suppose it's better than nothing. : )
Friday, November 6, 2009
Maternity benefits only pay out if you are actually still pregnant. Go figure. I had no idea. If you miscarry, you pay the per visit rate, which can add up if you have blood work and visits three times in a week, and a recheck at two weeks. : ( They only charge for delivery so all the visits are "free", so. . .they don't get paid if you don't deliver. I learn new things every day.
Yes, busy with two kids in basketball, and still hard at it in scouts for both, gymnastics, etc. Last weekend was so nice with no games... This weekend we have four!
Tonight is Mary Claire's first sleepover! She is going to Emily's house tonight, and we plan to pick her up around 10pm. She's having pizza and cake, so we'll estimate a bolus for her over the phone, but I'm sure she'll go high! : O It'll be easier to go pick her up, bring her home, let her sleep in her bed, and we'll check her in the night to bring her blood sugar back down. Our plan is to take her back in the morning for a craft at Home Depot (that she sooo doesn't want to miss!), but her two games are during that time, so we'll have to do some bargaining!
She's just so excited! : ) I love to see her all hyper and happy. We went to Build-a-Bear last night to get her friend a gift pet and jammies, and she had so much fun! We also got Ethan a sweet teddy bear since he's been pushing Mary Claire's bear around in the pram for a couple days. We hear him telling it that he loves it, and he feeds it, covers it up, and pushes it all around. It is just so sweet! He also did that with her Big Sister Dora doll, and then looked it in the eye and said, "Look at me. Listen to me." It was so funny!! I wonder where he got that! : ) He is just so sweet; he just makes me smile. : )
Psalm 16: 5-11:
5 LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
you have made my lot secure.
6 The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
7 I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I have set the LORD always before me.
Because he is at my right hand,
I will not be shaken.
9 Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
my body also will rest secure,
10 because you will not abandon me to the grave,
nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
11 You have made known to me the path of life;
you will fill me with joy in your presence,
with eternal pleasures at your right hand.
My kiddos are filled with joy lately-what a blessing! They sure can make or break your days. When they are full of joy it's hard to be in a bad mood around them! When they are crabby, I'm busy searching for some light from within to bring their spark back. Isn't it great when we can find joy in others? : )
Sunday, November 1, 2009
How do you feel about people who are judgmental? I don't want to judge them (heehee), but does it run in families, or in neighborhoods, or among "Christians" judging other Christians (or heaven-forbid, non-Christians!), I mean what gives them the right? There's not necessarily a Thou Shalt Not Judge, but it's pretty explicit. So, back to the question..how do you feel? What do you say to them? How do they know what is right for someone else or another family? Let's just all put away our pointing sticks, and ask if they need help instead?
Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged.
And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye. -Matthew 7: 1-5
Let's just pray that we see our own faults and work on ourselves. We all have areas we need to improve on, and I'm just going to say I have things I'll work on inside my house before I move to someone else's...
Thursday, October 29, 2009
He finally peaked yesterday with a 102 degree fever. He was up again in the night last night (well, both in body and in temp!). He's just not sleeping well lately. We had it figured out, but now he's up a couple times a night, every night. It makes for some pretty sleepless nights (in Springdale!).
I took Clay for a doctor's appointment yesterday for screening for ADD. He was fine, and realizes it is not because he's not smart or good. He has to see a child psychologist next Wednesday to see what they think about him. I'll talk alone to her, and then Clay will visit with her. I just want to help him focus on his work and maintain his self confidence. When he gets papers home with big writing on them, he doesn't feel so good. He tries, and he's never had so much trouble before. Here's hoping it'll go well, and we'll figure something out.
I have been busy planning a Halloween party for Clay's class. I'm a little ADD myself, so I'm jumping from one thing to the next. I have water bottles to label/wrap for Mary Claire's class, paper plates to paint/hole punch/and cut for Frankenstein's head (I'll show you a picture later!), and silver cording to cut and bag in the kids' little kits. It should be fun! Tomorrow you'll get the low-down on the party. They will have a Use Your Brain! theme, and it's all candy-experiments and learning (well, they don't know they're "learning"!). I guess it's the teacher coming out in me? And my massive love of candy/chocolate?? Heehee One of my friends from high school is supplying the brainy cupcakes (just adorable!!), and we are getting ready! I hope Mary Claire's party is great too (I'll only be at the end of hers!).
If you want to join in the antics, gather the following by Saturday, and I'll have your candy science experiments posted!
Skittles (divided into two groups)
M&M's (divided into two groups)
Sweet Tarts, at least a couple packs of three
some type of vinegar
Wint-o-Green mints (Lifesavers brand, they are white with green flakes)
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
We took Mary Claire yesterday to the doctor, and she tested positive for the h1n1 flue virus. It was like my biggest fear of the fall had come to fruition. We were taking precautions, avoiding taking the kids anywhere, and knock, knock, it came in the back door. We found out that there is a lot of it in the second grade at her school! We didn't stand a chance. We've been hunting down the vaccine, but we just didn't reach it in time. I guess we should be thankful that she has antibodies for it now, but I didn't want them to come THIS way. I'm trying to keep the rest of us rested and fed well, so that maybe it doesn't spread.
Mary Claire is quarantined in her room (with a tv/dvd player, toys, drinks/food, etc. so as not to make her feel Too Bad), but we can't have her sneezing and breathing all over our house! She sneezed yesterday morning on her nightgown sleeve, and got it all wet (iccckkk). I just took it off, and threw it in the washer. That was before I even knew what she had.
I think the first sign was the high blood sugars that have been coming over the past five days. She always runs high, then something shows up. Well, it's here! Monday morning when I checked her blood with our new head-scanning thermometer it read 104.1. I thought it was wrong, and rechecked under her arm. It was only 101.9-what a difference!
She seems to be fine as long as I have her on ibuprofen. There is some runny nose, achiness, sore throat, fever, and of course high blood sugars. That's been the hardest to conquer. She was over 300 from last night until this morning. We checked her until midnight last night, I got up and checked her at 4am, and then at 7. I told her is was dangerous, and that if I couldn't get her down, we'd have to go to the doctor or hospital. She was begging to eat, but I just can't feed her over 240, it makes it so much worse when she's over ketone level. I made her a big plate of scrambled eggs, and she ate half of them. I gave her tons of insulin, then gave her more, just for good measure, then reset her basal to 200% (at Ches' recommendation-it seemed too scary for me, but 160% was cutting it).
Finally, right before lunch, she came down to 57. Isn't that how it always is, too high or too low. (but at least she could eat!) I could finally give her the Tamiflu dose (long story, you can see below), since I had to mix it with pudding (which has carbs...). This would be the big fat reason that people at risk need the vaccine!!
Tamiflu: Apparently it is rationed right now (just see if you get it if you are sick-lots of people aren't getting it!). Anyway, we got it (just for her, not for us!). When we went to pick it up, the liquid ($100) wasn't covered by our pharmacy insurance (did I tell you last week's story?), so we had to choose the $35 capsules (and my daughter does NOT take pills-even with bribing!). We had to break them open and mix the powder with a teaspoon of "chocolate syrup" (um..remember diabetes, Pharmacist?) or pudding (ditto, but maybe when her blood sugar comes down). We did do this yesterday, but she hated it! Even after the whole pudding cup, she said she still had that taste in her mouth! And we do this twice daily for five days. If it lessens her pain, it'll be worth it.
So, if the opportunity presents itself for you to be vaccinated against the H1N1 flu virus, you should yell, "Yes!" all the way there! Especially if you have other health complications that make it difficult for you to take the medicine and maintain your health. I can't believe that some people are treating it as optional! It is HERE, is HIGHLY contagious, and can cause cerebral seizures and lung collapse (I learned from the person at our insurance company! and yes, comfirmed at cdc.gov).
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Clay had gotten a good update last Thursday about his behavior in class, so we told his boy scout den leader that he could go camping this weekend. He had a mandatory meeting on Tuesday night (which it took me and Ches to sit through a little bit each to fulfill the requirement since we had other obligations also). Ches finished up the meeting with three kids, so he deserves some kind words! : ) But then yesterday, I got an email from his teacher that he's not been so great this week. He's having trouble listening/paying attention again in his class, and in his reading teacher's class.
I was aware that he has trouble listening, and I was just convinced it was his hearing. This summer we got all of that corrected after his ear drum was the consistency of "wet toilet paper" and severely retracted, and now his hearing is much improved. Well, it may not have been the problem, but I'm glad it was resolved. I've now made an appointment for him to see our pediatrician next week to see about testing him for attention deficit disorder. He had trouble concentrating and staying on task, not to mention listening to his teacher.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Mary Claire woke up with a blood sugar of 441 this morning (remember 100 is normal), I rechecked right away, and got 386. She'd gone to bed at 92, and at her last check (11:30 last night) she was 189. A little high, she got a correction, and we thought she'd be fine. We were so wrong, and we are often wrong. You don't get a whole lot of encouragement with a horrible havoc-wreaking disease like diabetes. It's so hard.
We gave her more insulin and checked to see when her last site was (to judge site "life" and insulin life), and it was just Saturday at 11am! It hadn't even been 48 hours (they are supposed to last 3 days). She really didn't want me to change it, and was begging me (and after all the tears on Saturday, I didn't want to either). We checked her again at 7:45, and she was still 411, so I gave her more insulin. Her body becomes so resistant to the insulin when she's that high. She was starving, and it makes me hurt. I didn't eat breakfast (partly not to eat in front of her, partly out of sympathy). I finally talked her into some scrambled eggs (no carbs), and she ate them. We worked on some math she had to correct, and she cleaned her room. I took a shower, and painted her fingernails, all in the name of wasting time, right?
She was finally down to 118 (an exciting number!), and ate some mini-wheats hoping the fiber would hold her over. Well, since it was close to nine, her bolus ratio change, we were nervous about how much insulin to give her. Before 9am she would get a 2.6 (2 units and 6 tenths), and after 9, she'd get 1.3, BiG difference! Well, right before I left to take her to school, she was 52! Ahh, does it ever end? I gave her some fruit snacks, and she had a little root beer. When we got to school, she said she still felt low. She was 72. I gave her two peanut butter crackers, and went with her to class.
She had a substitute! On a day like today. I almost took her back home, but she needs to be there. I did lots of talking to the sub and back to the nurse (worried for her!). I haven't heard from them, so she must be okay.
My next hurdle was the pharmacy (there should be a limit on what I can handle in one day!). I called in two refill on Saturday, they called back and said they only had one box of each. I told them I'd wait till Monday so they could fill them (otherwise I'd have been back on Monday anyway) to avoid two trips to Fayetteville. Well. I got there, and they wanted over $300. Ha! Our pharmacy insurance changed, and they were denying the claim. Mike, the pharmacist, called them, I waited for too long, and told them I would be back later. I ran over to Sam's to get a couple things, then back. No more luck. He hung up on them after a 10 minute hold, so he gave me one box of each and told me to call them. I was grateful for the box of each (but now I have to deal with them? what do I say? what do they want? what's the problem?), but not looking forward to the second trip I was trying to avoid.
I called Ches (as I was not so well by this point), and he called. They didn't believe we could be checking her blood this often (10-12x day), so they wanted to fax the doctor a form to fill out before they'd fill her prescriptions. Then they told us it would take 24-48 hours, so I'm really glad we got those tiny boxes now! I'll make it two days on those. I also had to call the doctor's office (in Little Rock) to forwarn them and to let them know I need them to fill it out asap so I can fill my prescriptions!
What a day, and all before lunch. I'm tired. I put Ethan to bed, and he's getting into his drawers now (and spreading wipes, powder, Lansinoh lanolin, lotions, etc. all over his room!). I've been back in once, but last night was a doozy! He powdered his dresser, bed, carpet, and self. Ches vacuumed it up (he was feeling generous!), and now we're watching so it doesn't happen again. I was going to move all the stuff to their bathroom, but there's not room. She has all the drawers full: hair stuff, bows, washcloths, hand towels, etc. I'll have to think of another place and meanwhile, keep an eye on him!
Pray for our insurance to do it's job! And for them to understand it's so very hard to keep an eye on a small child with diabetes, and harder if our hands are tied with limited supplies.
: : And my God will fully satisfy every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19 : :
Saturday, October 17, 2009
I have to say, I was beginning to wonder if we were invincible, but of course, we aren't. I thought maybe it was because I was keeping the bathrooms so clean, remembering their vitamins, alcohol-gelling their hands so often, making their dinners with lots of fruits and vegetables, etc. It seemed everyone I talked to had sick kids-or they were sick! We took a few days of rest after our flu shots, hoping we wouldn't catch all the h1n1 going around. But, we've now been infiltrated with our first runny nose of the season. Boo! I'll probably keep him home this week just so he doesn't catch something else while his immune system is busy fighting this off!
The Husky Hoedown (our school's fall carnival-western style!) was really fun-we went a little late since Clay had a game right before it. He didn't even get to change clothes, but Mary Claire and I got dressed up! We had our boots on, and bandanas, and our miniskirts on-what fun! My hair was in pigtails (low, I promise), but she wanted hers down (under her cowboy hat of course). Ethan went with us, and the plan had been for Ches to drop Clay and take Ethan, but they all stayed, and it went well! Ethan played all the games with the kids, and it was fun-he's finally old enough to learn to stand in line, wait his turn, and then give his ticket to play. I've always had to help with the games, so it was nice to just play with the kids this year!
Alrighty, just a teensy update. I have to go change Mary Claire's site as she's not coming down and she's hungry!!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
I have a letter I wrote to myself after Christmas of 2005 (it went poorly), and I put it in my calendar and reread and edit it every year. It was a letter to the me of the future, to not make the same mistakes again. Don't you want to write to yourself and remind yourself of the important things? And don't you love to get a letter from someone who truly cares about you (and your sanity)? I do! So, I'm taking notes and getting ready.
I have to remember to start my Christmas notebook early.
Tabs/sections for. . .
Church: MUST go to Children's Mass, or Ches is really unhappy, so plan pizza if you have to on Christmas Eve
Clothes: party outfits and matching outfits for the kids for pictures, parties, Christmas Eve Mass
Food: Christmas Eve and Christmas day dinner menus and plan, cookies, desserts, gifts of food for neighbors, buy wine early
Decorations: plan for decorating and list of dates to have stuff done by (outside lights or not-we blew a light outlet last year!, Christmas trees, stuff to buy, list of stuff to use that we already have, what to not do this year
Christmas Card List/Address List: I've never done a picture card before, but I am this year!! And get this. I've already ordered them, they'll be in next Saturday!!! I'm going to have it so easy this year!! (I hope!)
Picture Schedule: We usually do this for our cards, but hahahaha, don't have to this year! Well, we'll probably take one to keep, but not to mail out. So, much less stress. We usually get our pictures made the day after Halloween, no joke. It's not busy at all, and the kids don't change that much. : )
Gifts: get the lists and shopping done by Thanksgiving, buy extra gift cards for surprises or game prizes on Christmas, get stocking stuffers early too!
Sanity: schedule a day out alone after everyone is home for break: last minute things, grocery shopping, nails done, etc. Plan babysitter for this day by December first!
and finally, Kids: stop every day in December to play with the kids: read/write/game/cocoa/cookies-it's great for de-stressing, and keeps kids from feeling my stress and acting up!
Ps: who do you know that was alone on Christmas last year? They should come hang out this year! : ) If they'll come...
So, I've already told you, but I really did order my Christmas cards. It took me most of the day (yeah, little obsessive), but it's done. I did a collage picture card with five pictures (two family pix and three individual close-ups of the kids), and it's just adorable. I edited each one: sepia (fade out, so little color), and did a vignette around all the edges so they fade to black around the outsides, then ordered them online. It was easy, just time consuming. I'm now looking for some cute stamps to add to the envelopes so they are colorful. I found a "Have a Holly, Jolly Christmas", and it's awful cute! There used to be one with "Sandy Claws" and "Jingle Shells" (since I put in our beach picture), but I haven't found it yet. Maybe I'll check online.
Useless Info #1: I think that the big, huge, new cheaper by the pounds (8.3 to be exact) bag of M&M's is gaining on me. I've eaten almost half the bag (or maybe more? only judging by how it feels when I stick my hand down into it..), and I gained a pound already in the last week. I think it's stress. But, what kind of husband comes home with 8 pounds of M&M's?? Apparently the same one who bought 4 pound of fish sticks (115 sticks!), you know, just in case we have thirty kids over for dinner. And they like fish sticks. And we already had two bags in the freezer. We did have a conversation, and he thinks maybe it's from childhood. He always wants plenty of food in the house! I'm okay with his explanation, we just need ANOTHER refrigerator for more backups.
Useless Info #2: Oh, and I'm almost done decorating for the fall. : ) Leaves, pumpkins, etc. are almost all done. I only lack my wreath and my dining room table. I'll get it done this week while the kids are at school. This weekend was just too busy!
Useless Info #3: (seemed silly to only have two!) I got my hair done Friday-Yay!! It's better, still growing out, but good. I got lowlights and highlights, but I'm going to have to only do highlights next time as it's darker or something. Just different. Can't quite put my finger on it. . .
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
When it was time to go up and read his bedtime stories, I wasn't sure if I should sit on his bed: he'd used the back of my jeans (my pockets) to wipe his cupcake remainders on! He'd walked right up and wiped his face on me! Silly boy.
What do you dream of? Lately I'm dreaming of two dishwashers. More and more frequently (not EvErY night yet), I have to wash dishes while the dishwasher is running. There just isn't room in the dishwasher. We run it every night, but it seems to fill up as I finish making dinner (measuring cups, cutting boards, mixing bowls, etc. added to breakfast/lunch/snack dishes and cups/glasses). I just can't imagine running it right after lunch, since it's not quite full yet (and that seems wasteful I think). Oh, what to do since another dishwasher just isn't fitting on my To-Do list? : )
I'm having ambivalent feelings about a baby again. It's still hard. I still want one more baby, that last time to be pregnant, one more chance to buy baby clothes, smell a new baby, watch them sleep, learn to crawl, and watch the kids adore them. But. Sometimes I wonder if we got another chance to not have a baby. Ethan is almost in preschool, and there is a day coming soon that he'll be in school, and I'll be busy with projects and time will fly while the kids are in school. I just wonder both ways a lot lately. I might be preparing myself for the chance it won't happen, who knows. I just can't get my hopes up again. What if it was a chance to want one even more than last time? I just have to lay it at God's feet, and not worry about it.
The Lord will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame. You will be like a well-watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail. Isaiah 58:11
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
1. People to dirty laundry in my house
2. Sticky soap to clean off the bathroom counter (at least they are
washing!) (with soap!)
3. New groceries to put away and to plan meals with
4. A baby to put back in bed 4 times today
5. That he pottied in the toilet before nap
6. That I'm connected to my friends : )
7. For my kids' precious friends and their pleasure at play
8. Ches, and his patient way of listening to all my irrational concerns
over flu shots vs. flumist and h1n1 vaccines.
9. an insulin pump that keeps Mary Claire with us
10. God's gifts: creativity, excitement, organization
What are you thankful for today?
Monday, October 5, 2009
Ethan has been in a rebel-mood. He has rebelled from his big boy bed, and we've all shed some tears. He began Thursday or Friday screaming that his room was "scary", and when asked, finally pointed to the curtains, then the blinds, then the neighbor's house (like I can change the Party House). It's scary to all of us (especially on Saturday night with the flood lights and music blaring). So, unchangable things not withstanding, we rallied on. We added a lamp on at night (with new 15 watt bulbs from Lowe's-yes, they exist and fit your existing lamps!), then added a daddy sleeping with him, then let him sleep in Clay's bottom bunk, then he crawled up and slept with Clay on Saturday, then he pushed Mary Claire out of her bed last night, and I found her on the floor this morning!
We've now set back up the crib, in high hopes that at least one of us will get some decent sleep. He has yet to sleep in it, but we're trying. He didn't have a nap today-he kept going through his bathroom to Mary Claire's room, then he locked himself in Clay's room. Yes, horrible. Did I fear? No, I stood thinking and saw Opportunity Knocking. Let's see. What is nap time for? Two things. One: to give Mommies a break and time to get some things done (or nap if they've had too many hours on their feet outside pulling the wagon and chasing a toddler down a hill!). And two: to help the little angel get some rest so he makes it through the rest of the day in a good mood. So, it's to help us all get in a better mood. Well. If I got some stuff done while he was locked in there (self-inflicted, of course, since the lock is on the inside), who am I to barge in and ruin his good time? I let him stay (and he MiGhT have slept), and I got some work done and phone calls made! So, one bird with one stone is not too shabby.
It was not a horrible decision as now he's sleeping like a baby in his bed (since he's so darn exhausted!). I can't say it was an easy bedtime, but he's asleep. We did the same routine as nap: three stories/books, prayers, five songs worth of backrubbing, and then I told him I had to go night-night (in my own bed). He screamed at this earlier today, but tonight went back to lay down (small cheer for No Screaming!). But then. I went downstairs, and Mary Claire came right down: he was in her bedroom! Then it was Clay! I went back up, told him to get in bed and lay down, stood by his door, and kept looking in and standing guard. Every time I saw him sitting up, I told him to lay down. Eventually, he fell asleep (9pm). This is better than last night, or even nap, so I am thankful. It's progress, and any is good.
Friday, October 2, 2009
And we are minus some hair as the kids got their hair (hairs?) cut on Thursday. Clay is just shorter, but Mary Claire decided to really cut her hair! It is at her shoulders, where she requested, and so cute. I didn't even put a bow in it today (shock, shock!!). It looks very nice down or in a headband (which we've only invested in three, maybe?). I don't truly think I can resist, but we'll see.
Clay's practice was practically rained out, but he still had batting practice yesterday!
Today the kids didn't have school for inservice, so it was a nice day off, with no games! This morning I got all the sheets changed, worked on laundry and changing out the new dishes I got a couple weeks ago! I'm still not finshed, but there were so many to wash, and I just couldn't eat off of dusty-looking dishes! And then I had to clean out the cabinets, rearrange the cups, throw away the ones, move dishes around since the bowls were different... heehee, a good problem! : ) Then I had a late (after 1!) lunch with Jenifer since Ches had a conference call with the CDC (that kept getting moved later and later...). He had me bring him home some spaghetti and lasagna to eat to get ready for tomorrow! Then we had a playdate at Kendra's house. She's painting a cute cabinet all different colors-her "funky" cabinet. AdOrAbLe! She wanted my advice, although she already has a great start! I'm sure it'll be awesome when she'd done!
Then we ran out for a quick dinner and picked up Ches' number for the Tour de Cure. He got a great goody bag that was passed around the van-and totally got skimmed on the way around! I got a new thin Sharpie pen in orange, and the kids picked out the little goodies. He's ready. He laid out some jerseys trying to decide what to wear tomorrow. It's going to be around 48 degrees in the morning, but up in the 70's by the time he finishes! He decided on a short sleeve jersey with some "arm-warmers" he can strip off halfway. We crafted this lovely invention out of some baseball socks that Clay doesn't like. They go up to Clay's thighs, and he can't stand them, but they were perfect for Ches! We cut out the toes, and his elbows fit in the knee bends. I think they'll help. He is wearing short pants since his legs will be generating so much heat! He said he was going to bed early tonight, but it has yet to happen. Eleven will be early for him!
I will be getting everyone ready alone tomorrow. We need to be at the ball field by 10 (if we skip the soccer game-which I just can't add to my list tomorrow). Clay has two baseball games: a 10:45 game and a 1:45 game. I think Ches will be finishing up between 1 and 1:45, so I'm not sure how we'll work out seeing him at the finish! We'll meet up with him afterwards, but it might be after he's cooled off and eaten. I feel bad when I can't be in more than one place at a time. God's hardest job calling: a mom. You have to accept Good Enough when you want to be so much more! There just aren't enough hours in a day. : P Sometimes I think if I go-go-go all day, I can get more in, but then I'm just T-I-R-E-D!
Oh, and the latest, is Ethan, and his Non-Sleeping. And his fear of his room. He screams and says he's scared. Or, "Scary!!" We are coping, but we are trying hard not to set up impossible standards and problems to get out of later. Ches laid in bed with him last night until he fell asleep, but we can't get into a habit. He never took a nap today, so he went to sleep pretty quickly tonight, but we bought 15 watt bulbs, and put one in his lamp on his nightstand and left it on. He has already woken once, but I went right up (and he was shaking!), and he fell asleep within a minute or two. It'll be a long night.
And Mary Claire is running low. Since Ches is "going to bed early", I'll need to stay up to check her. Lows are scarier than highs. Tomorrow night is our Silent Auction, and the kids will be with a babysitter. I just pray it all goes well. I'll be in close contact, but it seems like things haven't been so predictable lately. I'm sure the biggest is Ethan's bed change!
I'm remembering. . .
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don't forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ. Philippians 4:6-7
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
I found a new song today (or rediscovered an old one). It brings tears and joy to my heart. All at the same time. (It's down below on my playlist, at number 84, if you want to share in my tear-fest.) I think it's the memories pulled up by hearing it-memories of childhood hearing it at church, memories of my mom singing it in the car, the memory of it at my grandmother's funeral last year on my birthday. Just thinking about the sweet angels who've left our company much too soon. Hallelujah that they are rejoicing and singing at the feet of Jesus.
: ) We'll be there one day.
I've joined the ranks of a few million others as I bought an iPhone last week. It was the usual learning curve: first, you aren't sure you even like it, then figure out how to use it, and it grows on you..finally, you are downloading applications like there's no tomorrow. "There's an app for that!" is their slogan, and they are not joking. You can't even just "shop", you have to know what you are looking for to find one. I found some that are for making grocery lists, and they remember the order you check off things, and order them by store, so they'll be in the right order next time you shop there. I found one to use to look up carb counts for foods (but found out Ches had already bought it!), games for the kids to play-even practice drawing letters, a flashlight, level, famous quotes, books that are stored on your phone, just amazing things. I'm still learning, but at least I can make and receive calls. It's a start.
I also added service back to my old phone. I am keeping it to share our minutes and send with the kids when they are away from us. I haven't told them it's theirs, but it's available. When Mary Claire is away from us, it really scares me, and I need her to be able to contact me as soon as possible. I want her to have confidence alone, and know I'm only a phone call away. She's done extremely well, but you never know. I can't let my guard down. And I've learned I can't do it all and be everywhere at once.
I didn't listen to a sweet friend who told me their mistake after they miscarried. I was _______ (insert polite word for stupid). I am taking dinner to a family that just had a baby last week. I've worked on it all morning, and I know they need help (a baby does zap your energy, and it's their third), and so many people prepared meals for me, and I absolutely loved not having to worry about dinner on those days. So I put my name on the list. I just wonder if it was not a good idea. I'm digitizing the baby's name to monogram a blanket and cloth diaper for a gift. I just can't go make it. Maybe I'm just tired or lazy. I'll do it.
I had started an art piece (part acrylic, part collage-scrapbook-y looking) for the Silent Auction this weekend, but I don't know if I'll finish it either. (What's with me?) I wasn't happy with it so far, so I just took a break. I might finish it, but I have to add more. I think I was partly making it for me-big J (for Jones), and scripture to fit around the J (with the J for Jesus), and I thought I'd auction off a custom one for the winner, but then I thought I'd just auction this one, and make me another one...or I'd be sure I win the auction, and the church would get the money. See? I'm even confused writing about it! I am just in slow motion.
We are going to get our flu shots/flu mist this evening (it's our plan). We've called all over looking for the flumist, and found it at our kids' pediatric office. We'll make Ethan an appointment, and we'll get it too while we're there. Clay and Mary Claire are scheduled to get it at school on November 9th, but I don't know if it'll be soon enough, and I'm willing to pay for them to get the flumist this year. It has all three of the flu strains, and the vaccine only has the one they expect to be the worst for his year. It's also good for a year rather than 3 months. I want to get it when I'm not pregnant since I'm, number one, fearful of needles, and number two, have fears of anything coming into my body if I'm pregnant. I still won't give up the toxoplasmosis thing. I'm trying to let it go, really.
Today, hug your sweeties, then let them fly away : )
Sunday, September 27, 2009
I can't imagine carrying a baby to term, having a room prepared (and a closet full of pink clothes-as I did with Ethan and had to return/exchange them), and not coming home with a sweet-smelling new baby. I didn't have the time to do that, and I am actually almost thankful-I don't know if I could have handled it as gracefully (and I do mean Full of Grace) as she has. God has given us each gifts, and mine may not include fortitude.
We have decided to try one more time. If it doesn't go well, I'm not sure we'll have any more babies of our own. It is a hard thing to go through, and it's almost a lonely road. The kids are still praying daily for a healthy baby girl (I promise-I don't bring it up at all!). They request to pray for "her" every morning! If only we could be more like little children. So full of faith. We do pray for her, and it breaks my heart every morning. Only God knows what He has planned for those that love Him. (1 Corinthians 2:9)
We did have our full day yesterday (games, Brownie Day, date night) and kids' PRE, church, and batting practice today. We are all so tired. It seems like we can't wait for Friday to get here, then by Sunday we are ready to return to the easier schedule of school. It has to slow down as some point, doesn't it? We did get to sit outside for a little while before dinner (and took some sweet pictures of Ethan chasing leaves!) and Ches swam with the kids after dinner while I cleaned up all our sweet and sour chicken and sticky rice! We've switched to brown rice, but it still sticks to the table, the kids' clothes, and the floor-so gross. And I thought the worst was grated cheese all over the floor. (followed closely by Rice Krispies since they dry and BOND with the floor!). And as I cleaned all the ick, I was thanking God for kids to dirty my house, and kids to clean up after-really. Sometimes we all just need a reality check.
Next Saturday is Ches' big ride: the Tour de Cure for ADA. He rode another 100 miles on Friday to get ready. He tried to ride most of the route-it's harder this year with Hogeye and down towards Devil's Den included: many more hills! He's pushing tons of carb boosters out on the road, and stops in to get a big drink with ice halfway (I don't know if he'll take the time during the race?). Then when he gets home, he starts eating to recover the minimum 5000 calories he'd burned. I noticed he looked thinner, and he said he'd lost five pounds that day! He does NOT have it to lose! : P I had made some beef stew (since he craves meat and veggies when he gets home after all that sugar!), and he had two bowls, then he even drove to McDonald's to get a Big Mac (which we just don't do!) and a drink to add to his calories. Just Imagine. Eating all you want because you NEED the calories. Mind boggling.
Next weekend will be equally busy with our International Dinner and Silent Auction for our church building fund, the Tour, and Clay's games. I also told precious little Isabella she could come play (even if that means tagging along to our games!). She's a doll, and the kids just adore her. She can be our "borrowed-adopted" daughter while we wait to see what God has in store for us!
See? I'm even more thankful for my friends' precious children. Thank you, God, for teaching us even through pain. God meant it for good (Genesis 50:20).
Friday, September 25, 2009
Ethan sleeps for about an hour in the day now, since he has the new bed. He's still so excited maybe? Then he doesn't go to sleep until after 10pm. This morning he woke up calling out, "Ma-mop! Ma-Mop! Where are you, Ma-mop?" and I just can't lay in bed. He's such a sweetie, and how long has it been since someone really wanted me? Precious is all I can say. I will sacrifice sleep for an angel. : )
We went out this morning. First, we washed and vacuumed the van. Oh, and how great that feels! To get rid of all that road grime from a week of rain! (I washed it last Saturday too, but it rained on the way home that afternoon!!) The absolute best car wash is Happy Bays on Sunset in Springdale! I get the $8 wash, and when I'm done, my wheels are so shiny, and my tires are somehow shiny and armor-all-y! Just a miracle! I love it. I have a frequent washer card, and I'm almost to my free wash! (Just imagine, $80 for a free wash...) And you get an alcohol-y type wipe, and while I'm being pulled through the long wash (in neutral), I wipe down my windows, dash, and the entire front of the car! Then I pull over to the *free* vacuum, and suck out all the week's garbage (crumbs, popcorn, Dorito pieces, straw wrappers, cup holder ick, etc.). I just love going! It makes me clean out the car, and it's the best! Then I want to come home and clean my house the same way!
I have been cleaning my desk all afternoon. I get so tired of it looking messy. I have piles everywhere (that must be my messy style), so they had to be retired. I reorganized all these little bins, cubbies, drawers, and boxes that I have. It feels all aired out (kind of like my van!).
You should clean your desk (or work space today):
1. Organize your pens (throw out the ones that don't work!), scissors, rulers, colored pencils (I keep a cup of these just to decorate stamped cards, but you can decorate your calendar! You do have one, don't you?)
2. Clean up your calendar: get all those little business cards with appointments and school notes with upcoming events and merge them to one calendar! (I do this with ALL calendars: sports practices, boy & girl scouts, gymnastics, games, parties, church events, kids' PRE schedule, hair/dentist/doctor appointments, library story times and events, and play dates. Don't keep all those individual schedules and cards-they'll drive you to drink! (and not Coke!) Ok, then: Throw All That Extra Paper Away! or recycle it.
3. Set up a file system for things that come your way. Bills/Budget, Store Sales/Coupons, Things to Process (or Things To Do), Upcoming Travel Info, Stuff to Scrapbook (although I'm up to boxes of stuff..), and you may need a file for birthday cards for upcoming birthdays (I can't possibly do that, but I'll explain why next).
Keep these on top of your desk or very handy, or you won't use them, and you'll go back to Pile Methodology.
4. I have three boxes (photo boxes) full of cards. Some are thank you's, some are blank (inside, and some are blank all over so I can fill them with print, flowers, punches, tags, brads, and eyelets..), some are for certain holidays, party invitations, etc. I have small (handmade) tabs/file dividers to divide the occasions for the cards. When an occasion arises, sometimes I have a card that fits. I buy them if I walk by and they catch my eye (but I don't really need them...yes, an addiction), because one day I'll want it, and I won't be able to find it again! (yes, it's happened!) So, if you have a Card Addiction, clean them up, and throw away those ugly Thank You's from the 90's and freebie cards from non-profits that you will never use. Get Real.
5. Only touch your mail once. Open it over a trash can. If it's not a bill, throw the whole thing away (or throw away the garbage inside, and keep the one page that you like/or don't). If it's a sale flyer that you might use, put it into your Sales file.
6. Have your tape/stapler/punches/new monogram embosser (just got it and LoVe it!) out and reachable (but not by your two-year-old).
7. Clean your computer screen, keyboard, mouse (if you have mice. If so, get a mouse trap), and the top of your desk. Drink rings are not okay.
8. Deal with all the bits of paper that aren't appointments. They just collect dust. Get a box for all your papery bits and notes, or trash them (or put them in an adorable little pink pail!)
9. Get yourself a little basket for odd shaped things that have made their way to your desk, but plan to put them away asap (camera, baby monitor, gift cards, pictures).
10. Keep a couple of sweet pictures out to remind you of what's important, and plan to get a small lamp-it makes it so comfy and reduces the screen glare!
11. Take out all the trash (you do have a trash can, right?) you've removed, and voila! You have a cleaner desk and more room to be creative and process life as it happens!
*Bonus: I have little labeled clothespins (make clear labels with a tiny font then cut out and stick to the clothespin-it looks like they are printed!), then I tie little bows on them out of scrap ribbon. They make you want to organize your paper stuff! I have one for receipts (that are getting ready to be used to return an item), one for stuff to do ASAP, and one for This Week. I also have a few just with bows to group things that are in-the-process. They are just so darn handy!
So, clean your car, and clean your desk! I think I really breathe better afterwards! (you know, not that shallow, I-am-overwhelmed-have-too-much-to-do type breathing!) You have to start somewhere!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Then when we got ready to leave, he cried when we checked back in one of his library books. The lady was so nice, and said she'd go down and get it (downstairs where the book drop roller thingie leads to where the hobbits and magic mice live). He was crying, and we walked around to wait. They were opening up the front glass doors of the library since it was so amazingly beautiful today-and you could hear the roar of motorcycles on Dickson for BBB (Bikes, Blues, and BBQ). We walked around, then went for a snack at the little stand. He picked a banana (and I wanted to cover him with kisses), and I picked a nice dark, banana bread (I think it was a cross between banana and gingerbread maybe-a touch of cinnamon-very good!). He ate most of his banana before the nice librarian got his book and we rechecked it. It was a good visit (and we got to see Sandra and Nora too!).
My baby slept in his big boy bed for the first time last night. He was up late, and then up early (sounds funny..). He was so excited! Now, it's naptime and he is yelling, "Yay!" for himself, I guess? and playing with noisy things. I've already been back in there once, and he was back in bed by the time I got to the top of the stairs! At least he's smart. I don't know how this is going to go. The bigger kids just stayed in their beds the best I can remember. I know I have Mom-nesia, but I really think they did. Although, I also remember they might have been older? I always wait as long as possible to move them! : )
I've very hungry for meat. I miss beef stew. I haven't had any since last winter, and I'm thinking about it. I had the realization as I was on the bypass, but Ethan did not want to go to Wal-Mart to get a few groceries. If he doesn't want to go, I shall not take him. He'll make me pay. I'll go later. Alone.
He's quiet now, so maybe he's drifting off? Or he's on his way down? : )
I made my friend a wreath last night. I got the stuff while I was out then I just couldn't look at it in the floor. It is easier on the eyes to see it all put together looking pretty than a pile of fall leaves in my bedroom floor! I also finished the veternarian white coat (for Ellie Mae's Halloween costume!). I monogrammed it, but had so much trouble last week. I got my machine adjusted so the bobbin wasn't quite so loose, and now it's much better. I wish I'd taken a picture of the lab coat-it was adorable. I monogrammed the scrubs with her first name, equally adorable. Ches asked if I should do that (monogram in the DVM) since she hadn't earned it yet, and I had to tell him she's only 6!
I think he's really asleep! That didn't take too terribly long. I'm off to get me a nap too. My expectations for today are slowly dropping....
Sunday, September 20, 2009
First was Clay's baseball game (in which he had a slide-into-home-plate run!) (which helps us get our money out of those sliding pants under his baseball pants that you can't even see!). Ethan successfully climbed the bleachers (!), whined to go play on the Park, desperately wanted popcorn, a drink, spilled my drink, wanted his *Clay*!, etc.
Then, we made it to Sam's, and they had Chester Cheetah outside, free Cheetos paraphernalia (which made it to our house..), a football throw, AmAziNg barbecue from Damon's BBQ (a vendor outside)-there was so much we couldn't made two meals out of all of all the ribs (FaLL of the bone-tender, seriously) and pulled, smoked pork. Then after an hour or so we made it inside the store to all the yummy samples (I just Love Food Day!), but I was too full to eat (note to self: game days are Food Days).
Last night, we did NOT make it to the great tailgating party that was at Pratt Barn, and was so cool! We are uncool (and have kids). We did, however watch the Razorbacks vs. Georgia Bulldogs (and were sad they didn't WiN!), at the same time as Minority Report and Sweet Home Alabama (yes, all at the same time!). We were up until MR went off at 12:12 last night (this morning!). We should totally not do that. We do it every night. I'm usually in bed by 11, then Ches moves his big eating party to our bed (yes, includes sandwiches, chips, cottage cheese, and ice cream in FRoNT of me!), and watches Jimmy Kimmel (and he DoeS make me laugh!), but last night we pulled the triple header, and we were so tired this morning!
I think part of it was Mary Claire. She was so low all evening. She was between 48-88 all evening. I was giving that girl free juice, sugar tablets, popsicles, and she was still staying low! We also turned down her pump's basal rate to 0% almost all evening. She was still dropping! I think I learned from it though. (Was there ANYthing good to come of it?) I think her basal is too high, even though her doctor thought it was too low in March. And I think her bolus ratio for food in the evening is too low. I think that might be why we have so many problems with irrational (unreasonable) blood sugars in the evenings (usually 9pm-12am). When her basal drops down at midnight to about .25 units an hour, I no longer have to worry about her. So, I'm still learning, five and a half years later. . .
Today, was church, and the first day of PRE for the kids for the year! Mary Claire was most excited, since this is the year she'll make her first communion! She just can't wait! : ) Sweet girl. Clay was only nominally excited, as he's peaked for a while. He did have fun in class since he found fellow boys to horse around with. (I did note the preposition, but it works for me)
Then, we had the seating dilemma. We don't really have a pew staked out, per se. We just sit in the same general area every week, and our church can get full. So. We planned (well, Ches planned. I really don't care. Really.). He dropped me off (not at the door I requested), and I went to get the kids from their rooms (two different buildings, but I got to see old friends!). I was supposed to take them to church, get Ethan from Ches, and take him to the nursery, all the while Ches would save us seats. Well. When we (me and oldest kids) got in there, Ches was alone! Come to find out, Ethan pitched a big ol' fit about No Church!! Play! so he didn't even bother trying to explain that I was going to take him to play, he just took him. (Yes, I know, it's going to be rough when he transitions back into church with us, but it works today, and I'm all about making it today.) So, we had seats, even room next to us, so crisis averted. : )
Today, my kids made a Space Ship out of all the tubs I bought to clean out their closets! I'll post pictures if I can get my camera battery charged enough to upload the pix! They are having very loud fun (which is almost as good as sneaky, quiet fun) since people get to know how great it is!
Ches' Biggest Issues:
Travel (includes, but is not limited to: car traffic on busy/game/event days and Wal-Mart employee traffic to Bentonville around 8am and toward Fayetteville after 5:30pm; plane travel: making it to the airport, getting through security, getting to the gate, food at the airport, getting kids through the airport, getting internet at the airport, parking at the airport, getting a rental car at the airport, getting a big enough car at the rental location, finding our way around a new city, finding the hotel)
Food: having enough (must go to grocery store multiple times a week, must always have Breyer's neopolitan ice cream, fat free cottage cheese, Hiland fat free milk, Coke bottles (small, 12 oz), his Diet Dr. Pepper cans, Diet A&W Root Beer cans, Sugar Free popsicles in Fruit Flavors, Tropical Flavors, Sargento cheddar jack cheese sticks, Smucker's grape jelly in the upside down squeezy bottle, Reduced Fat peanut butter, crackers, bread or buns...) Missing these items involves a trip to the grocery store. Even at 10pm. Must go to grocery store immediately after landing in a new city, usually before the hotel. Takes snacks on every road trip (even on the way to church-10 minutes away, on the way to take Clay to a practice, or on the way to the grocery store), Takes food to the movies (even though he buys popcorn and Coke every time)
Ok, I should stop. It's getting longer! : O
We asked the kids what they really wanted for Christmas, as they are old enough to only get one nice present, and we're tired of traipsing all over town for every little adorable thing to come along (And they're rooms reflect it!). This year, we started earlier than usual (we're usually done by Halloween-it works well for planning, but not so much for budget since we miss all the sales). Clay has decided on a Nintendo (I think) DSi (and he wants Mario Bros. game with it-yes, he called it bros. rather than brothers!), and Mary Claire wants either at DSi since she can play games AND music with it, or a pink iPod nano (and if she gets the DSi, she wants the Barbie horse game). So, I told them that now we've discussed it, and shopped at Sam's, we shouldn't speak of it anymore. Well, Clay was *game shopping* today, and locked up Ches' computer!
Clay: But, Mommy, I was just...
Me: No Buts. No more speaking of it, or it won't be a surprise on Christmas morning!
Clay: Ok, but don't forget Mario Bros!
Friday, September 18, 2009
Last chance to turn back. Don't blame me later.
I've learned that not everyone in my church is really a Christian. Really. I know you probably already know that (maybe even about your church). We know that it's just a collection of sinners trying. They just try in a different way. I just hate it when it is a glaring obvious fact that I can't deny. And I have to admit that yes, they go to my church. Yes, I'm embarrassed to be in the same location as them at least once a week. Yes, they warm a pew, but no, they don't seem to learn anything by osmosis. I just hope they aren't out in the world proclaiming to be a Christian (which I know they do, as they are pride-filled). Ahh, I'm no better as I rant about them.
I hate it when someone thinks they are so good, and they make fun of someone else to make themselves look better. It's either the underdog in me, or my need to cheer the underdog. This person made fun of another parishioner (one of my friends from Bible Study) publicly. How could you find enjoyment in this? I called a good Christian friend for wise counsel, and I'm praying for the meanie (fellow sinner) now. She (Good friend) also reminded me to tell Satan to get away from me, as he was fueling my anger. The stupidity was wrong, I defended my friend, and it's enough. I'll just pray that the meanie becomes more like Jesus, and has the opportunity to meet Him one day.
I just can't imagine. The finding pleasure at making fun. I've never understood that. I do know, from psychology, that it means that person is insecure.
May you be secure enough that you never sink to that level. That you never need to hurt someone to make yourself feel stronger.
To the Meanie: That other person is doing the best she can, and struggles to be a better person in her sleep than you are awake! She constantly reflects to make herself more humble, and a better mother. You should consider it. Tone down that pride, and take a look at your own life.
Note to self: Keep praying for meanie. No one else may be praying for her.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
When you "mis-conceive", it is hard on everyone around you. They don't know what to think, then don't know what to say. So, sometimes they stay away, or avoid it all together. Sometimes, they plow into unknown territory, and ask anyway, because they care. I think it's sweeter to have a friend ask and mess up than not ask.
Ethan and I went to storytime at the library today, and he was so huggy! He didn't really want to sit with the kids up by the picture book, or sing up close. He wanted to stay close to me and be loved and hugged. Then we got some books and puzzles, and came home. This evening, after dinner, he really surprised me! We sang "If You're Happy and You Know It" in storytime this morning, and he started singing it and clapping! Then after we sang it with him all the way through, he started singing "The Wheels on the Bus"! I had to move his arms to the motions this morning, and he wouldn't sing, but at home, he would do it by himself! Two year olds can still surprise me!
Then after we got home this morning, we sat on the driveway for a while, reading and playing. Then, he took off his shoes in the grass (and it did look really terrific for toes!), and ran around (and ran off!). I found him in the garage and told him it was time to go inside to eat lunch. He took off, and ran FAR! I came out of the garage, and he was half way across the street (and our driveway is long!). I walked (since I didn't want him to run away) towards him, and he stopped. Then when I got within 10 feet, he took off again, and ran all the way to our neighbor's fence-a really long way from our house! Stinker. I got his hand and walked him home. Then I had a talk with him. I told him that he scared me, and he could not run away again (and he said, "Okay"). Then, tonight at dinner, he told Ches he scared Ma-Mopp today! I'm so surprised at his memory. It's really growing (or lengthening?). We retold the story, and Ches talked to him too. He just doesn't realize. Then Ches told him there were snakes in the high grass (the empty lot next to us), and he's scared of snakes. He plays into Ethan's fears (like bees and snakes).
What a day. We also made it to the post office to mail another team shirt, and to Mary Claire's school to take her library books, lest she not get to check new ones out! Come to find out, they didn't get to check out because of the book fair, so it's a good thing I got a few extra at the library today! She read them, then ran up to Clay's room to get a Magic Tree House book. Clay has already read them, but I guess she wants to make her way through them now!
When we took Clay and a friend to baseball practice, Mary Claire asked me if she could play baseball! I didn't even know she wanted to play! Last year, she said no, but now she's changed her mind. She also wants to play basketball and soccer! : ) I'll sign her up for what I can, but we are packing our days! She had said she wanted to try out for Children's Choir, but we just can't do it all. She's going to learn what it has taken me years to figure out. I just can't do it all (and if I do, nothing is done well).
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
She got in the van after school today all happy and started telling me all about Claire Sorg getting earrings after the Walk on Saturday! She was excited and talking fast (I don't know where on Earth she learned that!), and asked if she could get hers pierced too! Of course, I immediately said, "Yes!" We had to run home, grab a snack, and get to Girl Scouts. I called Claire's mom, to see where she'd gone for the fabulous piercing. Mary Claire was trying to explain where it was, but she kept telling me to to Promenade and go straight! Like that just explained it all! After gs, she had not forgotten. She wanted to go right away. I called Ches to get a phone number for the Claire's location, and to see if there'd be two girls working. I'd heard lots of advice about having them done at the same time! The girl who answered was soo sweet, and said she'd wait for us. We ran into the house, grabbed some food (and our camera!) and made it there pretty quickly.
They wasted no time, got her into the chair, gave her a bear to cuddle, and started preparing. She chose some adorable pink rhinestone flowers with tiny diamonds in the middle (just like Claire's!). Both girls got ready to "poke" her ears with the friendly-looking, tiny white "guns" (my words, of course). When we were counting to three, Mary Claire stiffened, and started shaking, so it took a few minutes. The girl on the right went ahead and did it, and Mary Claire didn't even know it! The girl looked at me, and I just shook my head no. The girl on the left went ahead, and Mary Claire kind of flinched, but that was it. She was so proud of herself for doing it, she couldn't stop smiling! : ) She kept telling me it really didn't hurt! She was darling. Then she wanted to know if she could have a surprise. She doesn't change. Like the new flower earrings in her ears weren't enough.
The girl showed us how to clean them, and we proceeded to shop. We found a ton of new earrings (which she can't wear for at least 6 weeks), and a little butterfly-thingie that hangs on the wall and holds her new earring collection (from tiny animals, hearts, pearls, rhinestones, rhinestone hoops, and beautiful tiny crosses). So fun!
She's been on cloud nine ever since, and can barely sleep! She even went upstairs to pick out what she wanted to wear tomorrow, to match her earrings! She chose her pink Walk shirt from this year, and then we had a one hour hunt for the bow to match. That bow has given me more trouble than almost all bows combined! Ahhhh!
But, we found it, and she's safely in bed. Happy, and asleep. The perfect place to be, especially when you are seven with new earrings. : )
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I made it to Bible Study (by the Lord's grace), and was glad I did. I didn't share much (since there's so much, and surely other people have "Stuff" going on?), but it was still good. I'm still freshly hurt to have the big desire to talk about it. We'll get there. I was thrilled to see new women, my sweet bunko friend, Anna, and even Virawan!! I was so surprised to see her, and didn't think she was coming this fall. I hope God has touched her heart. She is precious, a real child of God (but maybe doesn't know it yet). She makes me laugh! She said she was late because she stayed up late reading Genesis all the way through-she didn't finish till 2:30am! She said it was such a soap opera! : ) That girl is funny! It's the truth, but they didn't have Moses, the Ten Commandments, or God's son, Jesus, to instruct them. That's why God wiped them out with the flood though, was because of their massive sins. They were wife-swapping, and that's the only polite thing I can say. I'm just glad she's joining us to learn about all the great women!
Afterward, I started running errands, and only made it to Collier's Drug (and they didn't fill one prescription, and tried to get a refill from the wrong endocrinologist, and can fill it, but not give it to me till they see the PaPeR prescription I have, even though I faxed it), the sewing machine store (where I had to give up my baby for repair after hours of stress over a loose bobbin thread in my embroidery machine), and to the JDRF office (to turn in more funds I've received-a GrEaT problem!!). And then. I got the call, again, that Mary Claire was too high to eat. I don't know what's happening with her. She was 255 at 9:30am, was given .5 units of insulin, then was 306 at 11:30. (Expletive!?) How is that possible? Only with a bad site. But she couldn't eat, so I had to hurry back from Fayetteville to get her.
She insisted I not change her site, so we ran home, and she got some carrots, turkey, and more water to drink, and we gave her another bolus. We ran to Wal-Mart to get Clay's supplies for GT tomorrow, then to get Ethan. I checked her again in Rogers, but she was still 263. I gave her another correction, but told her if she didn't come down, she'd have to have a new site, it just wasn't healthy for her body. She cried, and wanted to eat. The other side effect of being high (besides all the thirst and peeing) is the irritability. So when we got home, and she was still 250, I changed her site. She started eating, and I put Ethan down for a nap. She's in my room, thankful to be eating. I hope that's all it was. Sometimes when she's beginning to come down with something, she runs high for a couple days. We'll see as the day goes on (And she has a new site/new insulin). Say a prayer for her! : )
Now I have to figure out how I'm going to get that prescription for her meter strips! I asked about delivery, but they make the Springdale deliveries at 1pm, and we weren't going to be home. Ches is coming home from Fayetteville (and driving), but he can't get them until they get the paper prescription. We also are busy tonight-Bunko, and Clay has a boy scout den meeting and there's an awards "assembly" tonight for him to receive the belt loops he earned at camp this summer. Ches is planning to take Ethan and Mary Claire along, even though I've offered to get a babysitter for them. He feels brave after seeing a family friend last week at the pack meeting with two other kids with them! He says if Paul can do it, he'll at least try. Kudos to him. He loves his kids, and that's something! : )
The nurse called yesterday afternoon to tell me my test came back negative. As if I was confused. It was weird. I had hoped all the negativity was over, but not yet. Today in the mail, I got this large package of maternity info from my insurance company, and a pregnancy calendar (kind of a nice one, if you know anyone who needs one..). I should be thankful that the good news spreads so quickly, but the not-so-good is slower. They said a questionnaire would be coming in the next couple of days, which means there's more to come.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Well, I went. It was okay. I didn't have to donate more blood for testing (Yay!), just some urine for a test. We had a talk, and I was fine. Some of it was medical-related, some was not-so-much, for which I was thankful. (Whew, almost ended that with a preposition!)
Clay is mad/angry/upset/sad with me today. I had to be at the doctor's office at 8:!5, so I took them to school not long before 8:00 this morning. First, I quizzed him on where his homework sheet was, and it was nowhere to be found. He was upset that he'd miss all of his recess tomorrow for not having it (so I wrote out a note to the teacher explaining we may have lost it, but he read every night). Then he got mad that we were later than usual and he wouldn't have time to finish his morning work (and therefore would have to do it at recess today!). I'm wondering...what about the kid who eat breakfast at school? What about the kids who get there at 7:55 every day? What about the kids who ride a bus and have no control over what time they get there? Do they miss recess every day? I told him to just do it quickly when recess started and he'd still have some time to play, but he insisted that it took a long time!
I shall stop here, since I have opinions (like that kids NEED to run around to get out all their energy at recess, and are there better "punishments"?). My kid is good, sweet, and super smart (I know, I'm biased). He read a book last week, took his AR (Accelerated Reader) test, and made 100%, and made 11 points! He's already met his AR goal for the nine weeks. He loves to read, and I just don't want him to have poor grades. We have respect for the teacher and her homework sheets, we just can't keep up with them till the following Monday!! We must have issues.
I sucked up my anger/pride?/issues and went back to the girl scout store. I had to buy the Try-It book for Mary Claire since she has a *habitat* due on Wednesday! I've been putting off a return trip (for previously aired reasons). I took cash, but they still required a name and troop number, which is how the woman actually recognized me. She apologized, and we had some very small talk. I told her it wasn't the first time that killed me, but the second time. It was okay, and she thanked me for not writing them off completely. Don't think I didn't think about it. I totally weighed my options, and really had to decide what was best. It was super hard, but I think girl scouting is good for her.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
*Update: Just as they were pulling into the parking lot, the coach and his son were loading up to leave!! Ches and Clay got out, practiced a while, and another dad/son showed up, sans coach. Is this tradition too?*
It's much later now, as I truly only had a few minutes! I had to make dinner materialize out of not much, clean up, and then clean again as the kids went out to swim. They brought all their wet towels and wet feet through the house! Ches has been heating the pool almost every day. I usually stay in and clean up from dinner and the destroyed hearth room every day. By the time I'm done, they come back, and I'm back on clean up/bath duty! They do stay clean and have fun with daddy. Maybe I'll swim more with them next year. There's just not time right now. I'd have to abandon a lot, and then do it later. I hope the kids learn to clean up after themselves better!
Tomorrow is already looming in front of me. I've packed the kids' lunches, and I have to go by the Girl Scout office (don't worry-I'm planning to take cash) to get the brownie book, register Clay for basketball, make my doctor appointment (which I see now is at 8:15), and Clay has baseball practice (already told you..), maybe lunch with a friend, wash the kids' sheets, catch up on laundry, etc. I don't know how women work. Maybe if they have a maid. Or no kids. Or are really effective, and don't play on Facebook. Heehee
I also have to work on my Bible Study! It is supposed to take a week, and I've only spent about 20 minutes on it. I better get busy! : ) I have some St. Raphael's International Dinner and Auction tickets to sell, if you want to come join us (we're really fun!). They are $25, and go to our building committee! The ticket price includes dinner (about 5 choices), and the silent and live auction. Oh, and drinks.
Behave yourself, pray for my appointment, and limit your facebook time. : ) Doctor's orders.
Oh, and one more thing. Clay has popcorn to sell for boy scouts. He has to sell $250 dollars worth. : ) Want some popcorn?? : ) You can give it away for a gift if you have bad teeth! heehee No reason is worthy!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
We had a great walk today! We had friends old and new show up, and we had a lot of fun. I'll post some pictures either in a slideshow down below or to the right. : ) I never am totally ready, and was feeling so behind this week, but it pulled together, and went fine. I didn't get the shirts printed till Thursday (and didn't get them till 5pm!). That always throws me off. I may have to look for a new place next year. I have a good hint that Logoworks could be good. I'll check into it early next year! I might do a school walk in the spring, and print two sets: one for the school kids, and one set for our walk in the fall. Do you have a good theme for us? I'm already planning, and I can't wait to plan another walk shirt! I think if I had a good general theme, they'd run with it. They always seek advice, and do really great things with it. I have to say, I got compliments on our event, planning, and organization. I can say I had nothing to do with it! : ) I'm learning to cut down on things, so this was another area...
Anyway, it was fun, tons to do for the kids, and as always, plenty of food, so Kudos! : )
AND, I got to catch up with some friends I haven't seen in a long time, and that was the best! Thanks for coming out to support Mary Claire you guys! : ) It means the world to her!
I go back to the doctor on Monday, so I'm not excited. I have no idea what this appointment is really for, so I'm nervous. Blood work, again? I'm fine, so I just don't know what to expect. It's been two weeks now, so time does continue, and things do move along. I hope I can just tell him I'm fine. Ches says I can't refuse bloodwork, but it should SO be optional!
Gosh, it's been so long, I feel like so much has happened in a week! Ethan got started in Mother's Day Out (first day was Tuesday), and he loved it! He wouldn't even say bye to me. I missed Bible Study since I wanted to take him the first day, and it started before he did. I think that Ches will take him in the future, and then drive to work. We'll get it worked out. Ches is trying to train for the Tour de Cure (100 miles), and ride every day plus get in a four hour ride every Friday-Yeah, I just tell him good luck with that. At least I can say I know someone who can do it . : )
Mary Claire was so high last Wednesday that I had to go get her at school since she couldn't eat. Her blood sugar just stayed over 240 for too long. I'm sure she had ketones by then. I got her, brought her down, then she ate with me while we were at Susan's hanging out. She ended up going with me to drop an extra shirt to print at the shirt shop, then to Rogers to pick up Ethan, then I took her back to school. It turned out to be fun for her, so she didn't mind. She absolutely loved going into the building to get Ethan! She actually used to go there, so she likes to go back.
We also have had Bank Day to turn in funds for our team for the walk, and I didn't get to tell Deb about the baby. She told Ches congratulations the week before when he went by to drop off money. He didn't have the words or heart (or time) to tell her, so he told me to tell her. How exactly do you bring that up? I haven't said anything to her. She'll figure it out.
Thursday and Friday were catch-up-and-get-ready days! That's about the time I got hyper and had to start planning. I'm so tired after my lack of sleep, but it's my own fault. I can't wait to get back into the routine, and back to my "normal" busy. Routine can be very therapeutic. For me.
We didn't go to church as a family last week, so I miss it. We also found out that our priest is being transferred to Fayetteville, and I didn't take it so well. He does such a great job of bringing our parish together, and I just don't know how someone else can do it as well. He's also sweet, and we'll miss him and his exuberance. What more can I say? Loss on all sides this month. I'll just bask in what we do have, and be thankful.