Thursday, June 17, 2010

Say What You Need to Say

Ches and Mary Claire went to the Daddy-Daughter event at Chick-Fil-A this evening-so sweet!
This is before and after:

Don't they look similar?  One was before they left-with her Bella and Violet (unicorn and tiger), and after with her new tiara, rose made of Hershey kisses, and a pink balloon!  She had a great time with her daddy.  I have to hand it to CFA, they have created some memories in our family.  Mary Claire was there on her first birthday, and we are there all the time.  Remember, just yesterday we ate there with Ches?  And on Tuesday night Ches took the kids and they made the Father's Day foam picture frames?  We like it so much, apparently we go every day!  Maybe tomorrow too?  Just kidding.
Tomorrow is our exciting Family Movie Event!  We have our tickets to see Toy Story 3 at 2:55.  The kids are ready-and we are too!  We've been waiting a year-and there still isn't a great preview/trailer that tells you exactly what will be happening.  We only know that Andy is going to college, there are new toy characters, and that Barbie "hooks up" with Ken.  As long as there are lots of toys, and we get to see Buzz and Woody, we'll be happy (code for: Ethan will be happy and let us watch the whole movie)!

One more thing.
I had an unpleasant conversation today.  Is it ever okay to be rude to someone just because you don't have empathy for their situation?  I was told there was nothing wrong with me, that I need to stop taking the Lexapro ("since it's just a placebo, you should just take a Tylenol everyday"), "you are from strong stock", and the best: "then don't talk to me about it anymore".
It's painful that my feelings aren't important, that my emotions don't matter, and that the time I took to tell her was wasted time and energy.
If someone calls and you don't want to talk, don't answer.  If they go where you can't, get off the phone.  Don't be rude.  Don't you think there's already enough of that in the world?
But, if you find yourself not caring, think about your own life.  Has that same person listened to you and your troubles, heard you cry, reassured you?  Don't you owe them?

One more note:
Don't even begin to think my life is all perfect and rosy.  There are all kinds of junky things I get to deal with.  I got sweet comments at Bunco about lots of things and how I'm so good at everything.  All I could say is, "There are so many other things I wish I was better at."  Like how to say what needs to be said.


Anonymous said...

Sometimes people tell you who they really are & that person did. Too bad for her that she didn't realize that for you to tell her about your difficulties meant you trusted her enough to share yourself.
Great post : )

Holly said...

Thank you. I heard Maya Angelou talking *on XM* a couple weeks ago, and she said that believe and listen to what people say. When they say, "I'm so mean to my kids", or "I hate it when I.." you should LISTEN. They know themselves better than you, and they are telling you something. Anyway, I think I learned not to talk about my sadness again with her, just like she said.
Thanks for leaving a comment, I know it takes time, and is sometimes hard. But it means the world to one little person in my house. : )

The Mom said...

Ouch. That stings. Okay I am The Mom and I said some of this, but the phone was cutting in and out and I was in Utah/Arizona and could barely understand what was being said.

Anonymous said...

I adore Maya Angelou, maybe thats where I learned it from too. Thank you for writing such a real blog. I enjoy that you share your trials and your faith in dealing with them.
If The Mom is your Mom, I hope you forgive her.
Past generations had to deal with heartbreaks in their own lives with the harshness of just suck it up and move on, pretend nothing happened. It was allot as you wrote in an earlier post, we have to teach our daughters to express the very real feelings they have and not let fear win.
Bless all the Mothers that came before us that couldn't speak freely about losing the babies they grew to love in their wombs. Glory to God we can now!

Holly said...

Mom, sorry, it's just my little world, and over here I get to write what's in my head... : )

Thank you-that someone appreciates my blog is FANTASTIC! : ) REally amazing!
I already did forgive her, thanks for asking : )
Yes, I know it was a tough world a long time ago, and I'm really thankful I didn't live then. I like that we are in the Oprah-generation and we can talk about our feelings, and that it's okay to not have to say only nice things all the time. Then we all walk around thinking that everyone else's lives are perfect. Mine's not, and it's okay! : )