Eleven Years

Eleven years.  It's been eleven long years since our first diabetes diagnosis.  I couldn't even write yesterday.  (I've had a lot clogging up my thoughts lately.)  I don't even know what to say that hasn't already been said.

Eleven of her birthdays since then.  (Maybe 88 birthday parties for friends?)  Counting carbohydrates for cake, ice cream, snacks.  Guessing at the energy she'll expend running around, playing games, jumping on a trampoline, skating, swimming, playing laser tag or paintball.  Wondering if the stress of competition (or keeping diabetes a secret) will drive her up blood sugar.  Praying that if she takes her pump off to swim she doesn't forget to put it back on.  Praying it doesn't get lost or wet or dropped on the ground when she picks up the towel she wrapped it inside.

Eleven years of sleepovers and campouts, stressing over not getting a number last thing before she goes to bed, stressing when I don't get a number first thing in the morning.  Anxiety over not knowing everything she's eating..like hot dogs, chips, and the s'mores that don't fall on the ground.

Eleven years of school.  Preschool scares of lows on the playground.  First Grade Stickhorse Rodeo at the rodeo grounds-all the extra events (roping, bucking broncos, obstacle course..), being served (unmeasured!) fruit punch, dancing, and the hours in the hot sun!  Book Character Parades around the school on Halloween would drop her every year.  One year, she got a tray for Thanksgiving Dinner, her only tray lunch ever.  Recess and P.E. are always fun to figure out.  New pattern basal rates for the hours she exercises..we get this figured out by the first nine weeks.  And field trips..eleven years of trying to make every field trip..just in case.

Eleven years of checking every night between 12am-2am.  Because heck, we didn't need that sleep anyway.  And if she's low..another check.

Eleven years of pharmacies.  Ordering pump supplies, requesting new prescriptions, picking up orders, pharmacy deliveries when she's sick with ketones, coordinating refills when the dates are too close together (darn all those rechecks and strip errors!).  The months it took us to figure out how to use insulin pens instead of vials for more consistent numbers with each pump reservoir refill.  Making friends with the pharmacist so he can learn which meters we use the most, and fill our strip prescription for whichever strips we need the most since not all our meters are the same.

Eleven years of endocrinologists and doctors' visits.  Arkansas Children's Hospital, emergency rooms, visits for high numbers when we insist it must be a bacterial infection because we know.  High numbers tell stories.  Texting doctors in the afternoons, nurse calls in the night, after hours clinic visits.  Learning how many units of basal she should receive per kilo of body weight, every time she gains weight.  Raising bolus ratios almost every time we visit for their five ratios a day.

Eleven years of charting, recording, graphing, learning.  How much insulin did she use a day when she was two?  Four?  Seven?  Ten?  Twelve?  I can tell you all her basal rates, bolus and correction ratios.  Creating charts for recording that fit our life.  Creating notes for her lunches and blood sugar checks at school.  Changing the notes if her check times changed.

Eleven years making her life look normal.  Cute pump pouches to match her outfits, pump skins so she could wear Tinkerbell or jelly beans over it.  Finding cool purses with lots of zippers and pockets to hold her meter, lancets, strips, alcohol pads, and sugar tablets.  Allowing her to check her blood in her classroom, in the bathroom, nurses' offices, wherever she felt most comfortable.  Checking her out of school when she was too high to eat lunch or be at her school party.  Putting whatever we knew for sure she'd eat into her lunch box (nothing worse than getting insulin..then they don't want their lunch foods.)

 

And not to forget..Eleven years of checking her blood, ten and a half years changing pump sites, and a year and a half changing her constant glucose monitor sites.  Eleven years of forgetting her meter, leaving it at a restaurant, leaving it and forgetting where.  Leaving it at friends' houses.  Taking it, but not having any strips.  Or lancets.  Or batteries.  Forgetting to bolus for food.  Bolusing, but forgetting to eat.

Eleven years of food.  Sneaking it, hiding it, not counting it, counting it, craving it, finding non-carby foods for highs, high carb/low volume foods for lows.  We have a love-hate relationship with food and drinks at our house.

Eleven years of having other kids to care for, a life for the rest of the family, a marriage, a home, friends, and finding balance.  Diabetes has robbed a lot of time, energy, and carefree fun in eleven of her sweet thirteen years.  And ours.

It is never easy.  We are never done.  It never sleeps or takes vacations..it always tags along with us.  We don't really like it, but it's one of us.  Happy Birthday, Diabetes.

 

American Girl Birthday and Parade of Homes!

It's been an up and down kind of week.  We finished up with the builder last week..for over $13,000.  Gak, I think I just threw up a little in my throat.  Yes, it feels nauseating.  The fact that we still had bills coming in four months later..it was all mysterious.  We had another $5070 bill for brick..and the brick was d-o-n-e last September.  Like..how did that bill not come in before we met, finalized, and closed in December?  ..Ok, I need to move along for my sanity.  Depressing stuff is no bueno.

Mary Claire's birthday was last Thursday, she's TWELVE!!  How did that happen?!  She was just my little girl one minute, and now she's looking into my eyes, and BiG!  And sometimes kinda sassy, and sometimes hilarious, and sometimes shy, sometimes sweeter than pie.  Boy, she's been fun! : )  

Great Wall of Chocolate at PF Chang's..mmm...looks like the momma couldn't wait for some either!

She added candles..and wanted more than 12! : )  More power to her..there will be a day she might subtract candles!

Even though she's big as me, she still loves dolls.  Especially American Girl dolls.  She now considers herself a closet doll lover.  (who makes my kid feel this way?  I'm gonna get you!)  She says none of her friends still play with them.  *sad face*  ..Anyway, she didn't want a party (remember last year's ice skating party or 2012's fun American Girl party?  Ahh..), she just wanted a trip to the STORE and to get Isabelle, the GOTY (her word for Girl Of The Year), since she'll be gone this winter.

They unwrapped Isabelle and handed her to Mary Claire, and we just sat and played for a while!

She says she takes the best selfies, and she's right!  How did she learn this?

So, we went to Kansas City (the nearest store) for a girl's trip!  We stopped by Joplin, and picked up our friends Angie and Andalynn to head north.  We had lunch at Sandstone Gardens (my fave!!), and then only 2.5 hours at the AG Store.  I think we mommas like it as much as the girls!  We got a few extras for their Christmas and upcoming holidays (can you say no shipping?) while they watched the magic at the hair salon.  Late dinner and hotel hunting (after I discovered our room was *smoking*! and I didn't realize there was still such a thing!  My fault, blech.)  Then brunch at Cheesecake Factory, a tiny bit of shopping and back on the road home.

She's so grown up!

but I still love her the same!!

again with her fancy selfie shots!  Thank goodness for those late-in-life braces! haha!

I had bunco at my house last night, and ohh..so much fun!  I do love these ladies, they are all sooo sweet! : )  I apparently made them wild rice and chicken salad before..since Candace said she remembers me making it!  haha, it's been that long we've been playing, that I actually double-made something!  Oops.  Does it help that I tried a slightly newer version?  It had red pepper, purple and green onion, toasted pecans, and a soy dressing..mmm, so much better!  We only played one round, we were so busy talking.  

after their game (against each other!)..and then we went for shaved ice at Shave the Planet!

So..about last week.  The day after we finished with the builder, he called and asked if we'd allow our house to be in the Parade of Homes.  It's not until June, but they had to get it on the roster if so.  I was really nervous for the obvious reasons: lots and lots of people wandering through my home, the actual foot traffic on my floors (even with booties!) and spills or stains, things getting taken and/or moved..and then the real anxiety: my house!  I'd have to have it all perfect, in less than a month!  I have all these things I want to do and redo (but I did get my new breakfast room chandelier up on Monday!), and my landscaping isn't finished, my dining room drapes aren't hemmed, I really need new bedding, what do I do with all these unpacked boxes, should I continue?

soo..will my house look this sweet?  I hope someone equally cute opens the door that weekend! : )

Ok, and the kicker.  My savings money just went to the builder.  So..what am I supposed to decorate with now?  Huh?  Be creative you say.  Ok, I'm really creative, and I'm working on it..but some stuff just costs money.  So here we sit at the crossroad.  Can I just say if you drive to my house and wear the booties and walk around..just please don't judge my house?  Just find something nice to say, and go to the next house.  Thank you.  We actually live and eat and sleep and change clothes here!  (evidenced by the clothes on the floor!) (and crumbs under the table!)

Wrapping my head around this.  I sooo much more enjoy having the bunco girls over, they are super sweet, and wouldn't think of noticing my crumbs, footprints, and laundry!  Love those girls!!

Happy Birthday, My Princess!

My goodness, we've had fun! : )  We had a sleepover birthday party last night for Mary Claire and her ninth birthday is today.  Sweet, sweet girl.  I was so proud of the girls-they really slept! ; )  From about 11:30 till almost seven, sleep-heavenly-sleep.  And they were all very good, it was so easy taking them to the movies (to see Rio since Soul Surfer was sold out!!), and I thought they were wonderful.  Maybe it was a smaller group, maybe it was me?  Who knows!  I totally didn't clean up the house (I left it pretty clean when we left on Monday), and we went to the grocery store and got junk (I just let her put whatever she wanted into the cart..it was her birthday!), she threw in Cheetos, Cap'n Crunch, mint chocolate chip ice cream..we didn't even get to eat it all!  It was just a relaxed evening doing whatever she wanted.  We even made lip balm this morning from a kit she got for her birthday! : )

After the movie, we came back to the house to have Hello Kitty cake! 

Rick's Bakery has amazing cake artists!!

She chose H-A-P-P-Y  B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y candles!  There were sooo many to light!

And he really wanted to make a wish ; )

She had a great party!

..and she is incredibly blessed to have wonderful, well-behaved friends! : )

Momma loves you, Sissy!

I will always remember her this way: sucking her thumb, holding her lamby.  We were trying to get good pictures of her (sans Lamby), and she kept sucking, so I just told the photographer to go ahead and take the picture.  This was my girl.

But here's one minus Lamby.  With my cutie boy.  They were precious!  (Notice the glare?  They are pictures of pictures in frames!) ; )  (yeah, kinda lazy today!)

Happy, happy, happy birthday, Mary Claire!!!  I'm so thankful for the gift of You.  Diabetes and all.  And super thankful for the 88 blood sugar this morning-I didn't totally mess you up last night! ; )  ..after pbj, popcorn, Reese's pieces, fruit snacks, cake (..and a 304!!)  Now we can still enjoy your dinner choice: IHOP!  Hahahaha, only when you are nine! :)

Not So Humerus

Gosh.  All I can say is that when you have a really warm day, and tell your kids to get dressed, to go OUT and play, maybe you should think first.  Think of all the mayhem that could break loose.  Think of the accidents they could have on bikes and play equipment.  Think of broken windows, light fixtures knocked crooked, vans scratched by bike handles, and bent golf clubs.  And how about a broken humerus?  Then maybe you'll keep them under lock and key in their rooms.  With no exercise or fresh air.

But, I did quite the opposite.  When I heard it was going to be 64 degrees (in December!) today, I yelled up for them to make their beds, and get on some play outside clothes!  I was so excited!  They'd been kicking a ball around inside, making up goalie rules, and generally pounding each other, and they sooo needed a day outside.  I got a roast ready for the crock pot, and thought to myself what a great day it was going to be!

Then Mary Claire came in crying.  It sounded little enough not to panic over, so I didn't.  Then she came in my room, with her white face, pale bluish lips, and her arm hanging.  She said she'd broken her arm (on Play Outside Day!), and she couldn't move it.  I set her down, ran to see why Ethan was screaming (please, please don't let it be another broken bone!).   (Just a previous booboo dirty with bacteria from all the outside playing.  Am I a total moron for letting my kids go outside?)
Ches was getting ready to go for a bike ride in the amazing weather, and I told him that I thought her arm was broke, and that I'd try to schedule an appointment, and to come back in an hour.
I called the doctor's office, and they told us to come right in, no appointment needed.  Umm..I needed time to wash my hair, but no.  I got around, took her (and the boys!) in, and made it to the xray lab before Ches caught up with us.  We learned that she'd broken her upper arm, pretty close to her shoulder.  The curvy line at the top is called the growth plate, and the fracture was very close to it.  The orthopaedic surgeon we saw later this afternoon said she didn't need surgery (he was disappointed-ha!), but it was considered a growth plate fracture.  He said if she stayed calm and sedate, we could try a sling.  We need to re-xray it in ten days to see if it's moved, or if it's still stable.  If the "ice cream" on the top of the bone doesn't move, it'll heal fine (the chances of it moving after ten days of stability is small).  If the "ice cream" starts to fall off to the side, she'll need a cast to keep it more stable.

I have to say, I had no idea when I got up this morning how this day would go!  I guess we really should be thankful for each day-it could've gone totally differently.  That's what I think families going through really awful days must think.  (And why, oh why, do these things always happen when I have bad hair?  When she swallowed a penny in kindergarten, to see how it'd feel, I had bad hair, no make-up, Ethan had no shoes, and I'd left his baby bag at home-I thought I was just picking up a girl with a tummy-ache at school-and we got checked into the hospital for surgery after seeing the doctor, and a gastroenterologist-I do have an interesting life.  (Her blood sugar went low, and she couldn't eat for the pain and stuck penny in her esophagus.  I gave her some glucose gel, it lubed up the penny, and it went on through!  She felt better all of a sudden, we re-xrayed at the hospital, and it had gone into her stomach.  FYI-if it makes it through the esophageal sphincter, it'll make it all the way through.)

We finally had lunch around 2:40-I was starving!  And we came home, she had her medicine (Tylenol with codeine), and she hated the taste.  I'm sure they make it taste nasty so the kids won't want more!
She's had another dose tonight, and she's resting relatively comfortably now.  I helped her go to the bathroom, get her jammies on, settled her with a pillow under her arm, then read to her.  I love my baby girl-I didn't realize how independent she'd become until she wasn't anymore.  She's so worried about school, about how to get her pants up, how to eat and write, how to control the pain.  I worry for her too.  I want to be all positive for her, but I'd be really nervous too!  It's her upper arm, so she can write, but doesn't have a very wide range of motion.  Bless her heart-could she please catch a break?
I think back now to all the times I called her diabetes our third child, and now I regret it-maybe I have my four kids. : (  I guess we don't get to pick our kids-God picks for us.  I can say it's taught me a lot of patience and understanding, but I can't say I'd pick that one again.
Here's my baby in her "sling":

How she really feels.

When I asked her to smile for me.  She's a brave soul.  This is one more thing she can weather.

Bless my Friends

My baby is still sick, but getting better.  He hasn't thrown up today, so Yay! (progress)  He's held down lots of liquids, and now toast and fruit snacks.  He's sleeping now, and I hope he's healing.  Lots of prayers going up!

I haven't gotten to shop since he got sick, so I don't have a kitchen towel to monogram.  I'm so bummed!  I even have new stuff to work on, but it's hard to sew and hold my baby, and rub his tummy.  We've pushed the pause button for the week!

I had a meeting with Mary Claire's teacher this morning.  She hasn't been doing her best work, and she's too smart to not.  We are going to find a cool homework folder this weekend, and whatever she doesn't finish in the day will go in there.  She can be messy (surprise!), so things get lost, and sometimes she totally redoes them, then finds them.  She also hadn't turned in some spelling sentences, and one of them was in her folder finished.  The others we couldn't find, so she'll be working on those this weekend!  She's in the high reading group, but if she doesn't pull her weight, she'll have to move down.  I think it'd be letting her off easy!  We'll see how she does.  She likes to put forth the minimum effort required, unless it's something she's chosen to do (not unlike lots of us!).  I get it, but this is school, and she'll have to do better.

We have two teacher birthdays coming up in the next week, so we are hustling.  One is on Wednesday when the kids are out of school, and we have cupcakes, a picture of the kids with the mat signed by them, and then the kids are all going to bring little things.  The other is next Monday (after break), and we don't have a for-sure plan, but another mom and I are going to watch her class in the afternoon so she can leave early-I hope she does something fun! (not get groceries!)  She's so sweet, so we just asked her what we could do.  She couldn't think of anything, but another teacher said we should give her a nap-time, so it got us thinking! : )  We'll just watch the kids, and she can run away. : )  I'm thinking I'll make one teacher some stationery maybe.  She is super-thankful and sends lots of thank you cards, so she could use them! : )

We had requested a babysitter for tonight, but she never told us for sure, so I have a feeling it's No now.  She was trying to get tickets to see Harry Potter (I think Ches is going to take Clay next Tuesday after school!).  Anyway, Ethan is sick, so it's not the best night.  It is nice to go out and reconnect, but maybe we'll talk next week. heehee : )

Ok, Thanksgiving is in less than a week!  Hmm..what am I thankful for?  My friends.  My childhood friends who shared playdates, backyards, and dolls with me.  My junior high friends who shared secrets, notes, and sleepovers with me.  My high school friends who shared shoes, boyfriends, and car rides with me.  My college friends who shared more notes (class this time!), decorating ideas, and lesson plans with me.  My teacher friends who shared books, time, and copy paper with me.  My baby momma friends who shared potty training, shopping, and maternity clothes with me.  And my big-kid momma friends who share party ideas, school help, and their kids with me.  I love you all dearly.  I'm so thankful I got the chance to know you and adore you even if we are miles apart now! xoxox

Fancy Party with Nancy!

What a day!  It was my sweet baby girl's birthday-she turned 8!  It was not so long ago that she was in diapers and sucking her thumb.  She is so precious, and I'm so thankful for her-for so many reasons.  She is full of love and hugs-even when I wake her in the morning-she has hugs for me.  Her smile and even her puppy-dog-eyes can melt my heart-even if I think she's playing me!

So-on to our day!  We started early-6:15am-and got ready to go to our friend Angie's daughter, Andalynn's, party (I know I said that wrong, but I don't have time to rethink it).  It took me two hours to get there last time, so I used the GPS sooner, and it only took me an hour and 25 minutes!  You can bet I'll use it again next time.
So, we got there, and everything was just perfect!

Her table was sooo cute-she'd found a Fancy party in a Celebrate magazine-so adorable!  I think her stuff was better, but you can't tell a magazine that, heehee.  Anyway, they all had little buckets with tons of goodies: lip gloss, a big blingy ring, a flower ring, candy, and a sweet thank you for coming to my party bookmark-all just adorable!
They decorated picture frames with pink glitter glue and rhinestones:

Then they sat, and snacks and finger foods were served on cake plates and silver trays: Ooo-la-la!

They were all so lady-like and used the best manners!  There's nothing like a dress-up party to bring out the princess behavior (note to self).
Then Angie read them the original Fancy Nancy story:

She didn't really want her picture out there, but she was just beautiful, and it was a great party-she deserves some kudos! : )  Yay, my sweet friend-you did a wonderful job!  But, I'm not done yet... the cake was amazing-and she made it!  It took a few days of baking, freezing, frosting (and coloring frosting), matching frosting colors with ribbon colors, layering, more freezing, ahh-I'd have ordered out and given up, but it was awesome-and tasted just as good as it looked!  Tres, Tres, Chic!

Mary Claire got to open her gift while Andalynn was opening hers-she was so excited-since it was her real Birthday!  I think she was thankful to have that teensy bit of attention!

When the ladies got ready to leave, they got the most precious little buckets-want an even closer-up picture?  So cute!

And then we hung around to clean up a little, and we took pictures of Mary Claire with her new American Girl doll that she just got for her birthday (well, a little early-she got it in the mail last week!).  They are so cute-and she let Megan wear her :M: rhinestone bracelet for a necklace!  I love that she's a girl doll, and not a baby (for more than one reason).  She wears dresses and panties, not diapers and onesies.  I love it.  She has pierced ears and a cell phone!  Woo Hoo! But, here's a cute one:

We couldn't fine the small hot pink bow, so Megan got the light pink-just the best we could do.  But they are both wearing flowers and bows, so close enough. : )
Ok, so then..we went to Schlotzky's and then Target to spend her birthday money-it was burning a hole in her pocket!  We were there at least an hour, and I had on heels!  I got a little whiney after an hour of the toy department.  We looked in music, movies, books, then dolls, Barbies, Zhu Zhu pets, Pixo's (thought they were recalled!), and she would put stuff in the cart, then change her mind, and trade it out-this happened at least 6 times.  Decisions when you actually have money to spend!  She ended up with a Blender pen kit and a Chixo's Luxe Loft with girls and furniture (on sale!).  It was raining as we came out of Target, and she ripped into her toys in the van, so I have no picture here.  I'll try to get one of the new toys tomorrow.
Then the drive home, some time with Genevieve outside, then to Olive Garden for her birthday dinner!  Ethan was so sleepy he fell asleep at our table with food in his mouth!  Bless his heart-he was so tired.  Then to Gigi and Papa's for our cake-I haven't uploaded those pix yet-and more birthday!  She got more birthday money, so she begged to go back to Target tonight (yes, it was almost 8pm by then!).  I was so pooped, I said no.  She played the :birthday: card (it's her special day, she gets to do what she wants, etc.), but I said no.  So, we have one more long toy department visit ahead!  note to self: wear comfy shoes, bring a book.  : )
We got in late, more playing with Genevieve, and off to bed.  Clay's at a sleepover birthday party tonight at a friend's house.  He's only been to one before-and this is the same friend.  They are good together, so I think he's having a blast!  I just hope he makes it through church in the morning.  I bet he falls asleep-we'll see.  What a day of birthdays!
Happy Birthday, my sweet little princess-you'll always be my little girl.  Happy Birthday, Andalynn-your momma loves you so much-and does so much for you!  Happy Birthday, Sutton-I hope you boys are having fun, fun, fun, and that you get a teensy bit of sleep!
Thank you, God, for kids to celebrate!