Thankful for soo much! : )

I've neglected poor little Blog for so long.  I get busy living and forget to document Life.  We had an amazing summer trip, and I never finished posting pictures.  I had a birthday, I'm officially forty-two, ha!  (As if I was faking it.)  And we had such a wonderful JDRF Walk this year..lots of friends who are just like family, and we've had soo much support and love!  And we just (didn't) celebrate Clay's two year Diaversary.  It's been two long years since D came to visit again.  We've grown together.

Roller Coaster CAPITAL of the world!!  (Carter is ready, obviously!)

He was going on the absolutely SCARIEST ride!  We all chickened out..especially after we learned there was a 1 3/4 hour wait!!  But this child did it!!

I have things on my mind.  Always do.  I always wanted a Titus/Timothy group to teach/learn from..and maybe I should be doing some teaching.  I'm not the youngest momma anymore, and I've lived and learned a little.  I'm not the most eloquent or perfect by any means..but a note to say I appreciate you can build bridges and soften hearts.  

American Girl in Chicago..first and LARGEST store!!

Did I mention GORGEOUS? and soo spacious for downtown Chicago square footage.

and we do love some Lego stores!

The most fascinating fountain in Chicago: Crown Fountain in Millennium Park.  The children's pictures change (1000 of their own kids) and the photos center with their mouth on the fountain..so the water comes out of their mouths even as the photos morph.  Beautiful art and soo many to enjoy it.

We got to visit the Bean (aka Cloud Gate), also in Millennium Park!

and we visited the Sky Deck at sunset.  Amazing looking west.  The kids are sitting out over the city.  No..I didn't join them.  I'm a 'fraidy cat.

It was formerly the Sears Tower, now called Willis Tower.  It's an amazing visit/sight at 103 floors high.  Love that we get to take our kids to see these gifts!

One of the girls by world-renowned Spanish sculptor, Plensa.  They are different from every angle, it's almost unimaginable..except they are real.  The look changes as you look from far at an angle to straight on.

One thing I'm gonna say just for today is to send a thank you note.  It bothers my momma heart (thanks to my momma) when my kids don't get a thank you note after a birthday party/gift.  My kids have to sit and write thank you notes, and they don't understand when they don't get one.  They wonder if their friend liked the present they took to the party, especially if they birthday child didn't say thank you or that they liked it.  I think we should take the time to write one today.  For the kind words we received on Saturday, for the small thoughtful gift last week (or for the time someone took to donate to our team!).  If I've ever forgotten to send you a note, I'm sincerely sorry.  I make notes for my notes, and double back to try to remember every single person and thought.

I still get to go on field trips..even in ninth grade, thank you, JESUS!!  We had a blast out on the trails at Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art in Bentonville!  (His teacher and I also got to thank Alice Walton in person for this amazing facility right in our own backyard.  It felt awkward to ask for a photo..so we didn't.  We are uber cool like that.)

Maybe our society is moving into expectation, but I don't expect anything from you.  (Except a thank you note, obviously.  Just kidding!)  Maybe it's my Words of Appreciation Love Language talking. : )  Prayers for a blessed week for you..and lots of things to be thankful for!  Hugs!

 

Eleven Years

Eleven years.  It's been eleven long years since our first diabetes diagnosis.  I couldn't even write yesterday.  (I've had a lot clogging up my thoughts lately.)  I don't even know what to say that hasn't already been said.

Eleven of her birthdays since then.  (Maybe 88 birthday parties for friends?)  Counting carbohydrates for cake, ice cream, snacks.  Guessing at the energy she'll expend running around, playing games, jumping on a trampoline, skating, swimming, playing laser tag or paintball.  Wondering if the stress of competition (or keeping diabetes a secret) will drive her up blood sugar.  Praying that if she takes her pump off to swim she doesn't forget to put it back on.  Praying it doesn't get lost or wet or dropped on the ground when she picks up the towel she wrapped it inside.

Eleven years of sleepovers and campouts, stressing over not getting a number last thing before she goes to bed, stressing when I don't get a number first thing in the morning.  Anxiety over not knowing everything she's eating..like hot dogs, chips, and the s'mores that don't fall on the ground.

Eleven years of school.  Preschool scares of lows on the playground.  First Grade Stickhorse Rodeo at the rodeo grounds-all the extra events (roping, bucking broncos, obstacle course..), being served (unmeasured!) fruit punch, dancing, and the hours in the hot sun!  Book Character Parades around the school on Halloween would drop her every year.  One year, she got a tray for Thanksgiving Dinner, her only tray lunch ever.  Recess and P.E. are always fun to figure out.  New pattern basal rates for the hours she exercises..we get this figured out by the first nine weeks.  And field trips..eleven years of trying to make every field trip..just in case.

Eleven years of checking every night between 12am-2am.  Because heck, we didn't need that sleep anyway.  And if she's low..another check.

Eleven years of pharmacies.  Ordering pump supplies, requesting new prescriptions, picking up orders, pharmacy deliveries when she's sick with ketones, coordinating refills when the dates are too close together (darn all those rechecks and strip errors!).  The months it took us to figure out how to use insulin pens instead of vials for more consistent numbers with each pump reservoir refill.  Making friends with the pharmacist so he can learn which meters we use the most, and fill our strip prescription for whichever strips we need the most since not all our meters are the same.

Eleven years of endocrinologists and doctors' visits.  Arkansas Children's Hospital, emergency rooms, visits for high numbers when we insist it must be a bacterial infection because we know.  High numbers tell stories.  Texting doctors in the afternoons, nurse calls in the night, after hours clinic visits.  Learning how many units of basal she should receive per kilo of body weight, every time she gains weight.  Raising bolus ratios almost every time we visit for their five ratios a day.

Eleven years of charting, recording, graphing, learning.  How much insulin did she use a day when she was two?  Four?  Seven?  Ten?  Twelve?  I can tell you all her basal rates, bolus and correction ratios.  Creating charts for recording that fit our life.  Creating notes for her lunches and blood sugar checks at school.  Changing the notes if her check times changed.

Eleven years making her life look normal.  Cute pump pouches to match her outfits, pump skins so she could wear Tinkerbell or jelly beans over it.  Finding cool purses with lots of zippers and pockets to hold her meter, lancets, strips, alcohol pads, and sugar tablets.  Allowing her to check her blood in her classroom, in the bathroom, nurses' offices, wherever she felt most comfortable.  Checking her out of school when she was too high to eat lunch or be at her school party.  Putting whatever we knew for sure she'd eat into her lunch box (nothing worse than getting insulin..then they don't want their lunch foods.)

 

And not to forget..Eleven years of checking her blood, ten and a half years changing pump sites, and a year and a half changing her constant glucose monitor sites.  Eleven years of forgetting her meter, leaving it at a restaurant, leaving it and forgetting where.  Leaving it at friends' houses.  Taking it, but not having any strips.  Or lancets.  Or batteries.  Forgetting to bolus for food.  Bolusing, but forgetting to eat.

Eleven years of food.  Sneaking it, hiding it, not counting it, counting it, craving it, finding non-carby foods for highs, high carb/low volume foods for lows.  We have a love-hate relationship with food and drinks at our house.

Eleven years of having other kids to care for, a life for the rest of the family, a marriage, a home, friends, and finding balance.  Diabetes has robbed a lot of time, energy, and carefree fun in eleven of her sweet thirteen years.  And ours.

It is never easy.  We are never done.  It never sleeps or takes vacations..it always tags along with us.  We don't really like it, but it's one of us.  Happy Birthday, Diabetes.

 

The anniversary we don't celebrate.

Yesterday was Mary Claire's diaversary (May 23, 2004).  Diabetes just turned seven (yes, we lived every minute of it-it didn't fly by).  We did not celebrate.  We celebrated our little life, but not its big ugly birthday.

After blogging about chocolate yesterday...yum!...I had to dip pretzels!  The kids came home, and we melted chocolate.  (This is not something we normally do.  It's reserved for Christmas gifts, company, and PMS..oh, and sometimes emoting about diabetes ; ) We opened a big bag of pretzels and got started.  I had the best helpers.  They got kinda dirty, but they loved cleaning themselves up (with their tongues!).  I was so chocolatey, I couldn't wield a camera, so you'll have to imagine our mmm-ing and and chocolatey-brown-temporary-freckles.

This is after hand-washing and blood-checking.  She's ready to eat some! :o)

We even try to keep it clean-we use whole pretzels, and use one loop to dip and keep it clean, but try to web the other two holes with pure chocolate!  (We have to have an equal chocolate to salty pretzel ratio!)

If you need some, send me your address!  We can't leave these laying around our house-they are dangerous!! : )  (both for me and Diabetes!)

**I have to say, D behaved herself on Sunday for dance recital, I forgot to brag on her.  Totally controlled, and she even ended the day at 107-we didn't know whether to be worried (for a low!) or thrilled we'd made it.**

So last night (during the very bad storm we had again!), we worked more on Mary Claire's thank you notes.  She told me what to type, then we printed, cut, tabbed, stamped, glittered (with a clear embossing sticky pad!), and stickered!  (Yes, in that order.) heehee

my incredibly messy desk while we're working..

*love* this tool!  It comes in a set with two sizes, but it's a glitter tray from Stampin' Up!.  You just pour till your heart's content, then open the little plug at the bottom, and sweep right back into the vial! : )  Easy-peesy!

I know this isn't very clear.  Sorry!  They are made to go into the invitation paper bag book things!  We also added photo collages to the envelopes! : )  We just make these on Wal-Mart's one-hour photo collage page.

So sweet.  She loved her party and her friends, and it was so much more fun to think about pleasant things rather than diabetes things.  Goodbye, D-Day.  See you next year. (and every minute between now and then.)

Ps.  I may have figured out how to post printable .jpg thingies!  WooHoo!  Wouldn't that be fun?  I'll try to make you something for tomorrow. ; )


PPs.  I didn't forget Engagement Chicken.  I purchased all my herbs ($2.88 each if you don't grow them!), and got my chicken, but baseball was from 5-6 dinner hour, so we reconfigured.  I've postponed until Thursday! : )  I promise to let you know how it goes!  ...Will she or won't she get engaged?  Stay tuned...