I'm not gonna lie. It's been a hard week. Sunday I intercepted a few panicked texts from Mary Claire's phone when she gave it to me at the beginning of youth group. Her friend was very worried about her. Mary Claire had texted that she dreamed she died. And then she told her friend that she wished it was true. There was conversation, calls and meeting with the school counselor, and half-hearted attempts at school this week. She did make it for three and a half days.
She feels like she's "not good at anything" and that her "life sucks". My amazing girl who is creative, funny, and organized. Slowly, her friend circles have been forcing her to "pick sides" (for lack of a better term..). They are all putting her on the outside, not speaking to her, and beginning to exclude her. It hurts.
We all know how it feels when we're in the group and feeling a high from the thrill of being on top, and how it feels to be the one on the outside feeling left out. Ok, I know how it feels.
She begged not to go back to school. This happy, intelligent, sweet young lady. What she didn't even know is that three girls have taken their lives in the last week and a half, right in our city, two in our church family. I've not told her (she didn't know them). The school counselor said that January is the hardest time. Not a lot to look forward to (letdown after the Christmas activity), spring break is a long way away, it's cold and dreary..etc.
So, after much consideration, I've listened to her. I've made what she wants important. I filed our Intent to Homeschool with our state department of education. I'm currently working on getting her on the homebound program for the 14-day waiting period until we can officially homeschool.
We went to the library today, and she chose a large stack of fiction (assisted and approved by me), and I got books on homeschooling. I have a degree in education, but this is still new to me. She and I bought new binders, and she got new colored pens. We are taking this bull by the horns. : ) We need to print all of the Arkansas State Frameworks to cover all she needs for eighth grade.
We can do this. I'm thankful that this is what the future looks like..as opposed to what it could look like. I need her to know I've heard her, that I'm listening, and that I take her seriously. So..here we go. On a new adventure.