Friday, April 1, 2011

Hope

I'm trying to think of anything to write about today-the weather, my new pink shirt, hope that we'll see sunshine, but all that keeps coming to mind is the date.  Today marks one year since I had the twins taken out of me after their hearts stopped.  I have done so well moving on in my life, and I continue to put one foot in front of another for the kids I have here.  I haven't lost hope, but for today, I can only remember what was a year ago.

The awful heart-wrenching ultrasound that came on the Monday (March 29th) that took my breath and life away.  The day of denial, March 30th.  The second, in-your-face-it's-real ultrasound and scheduling of "management".  And the day of the d&c, April first.  The very unreal April Fool's Day.

I came away changed physically and emotionally, and with new respect for the close friends and family around me who knew how to say the right things-which were sometimes nothing but hugs and patience.  So today, just let me be me.  Tomorrow will be a new day, and I will have made it through a year.


I still hope for the best-God's in the habit of giving it.


Remember, your Father knows exactly what you need before you ask Him.  Matthew 6:8

6 comments:

Reyna said...

No words. Just know I read this and am thinking of you.

Jen said...

I can relate for I've been there. I was 5 months along. Everything was fine. Just another check up...yet no heartbeat. I'm so sorry for your loss. There's just not words...

Hallie said...

Oh, Holly... I am so sorry. This breaks my heart. Praying for you all my sweet friend. And sending you big hugs!!

The Ware's said...

Thinking of you...

The Mom said...

You give so much love to others. You have a charitable and cheerful heart.

Sometimes we ask why sad things happen. We hope someday we will know, but until that day, know your precious angels surround you and you are so very loved. So VERY loved indeed!

busymom said...

Thank you-to all of you. Prayers and hugs are much appreciated. Ches and I got to have lunch together and talk, very cathartic. : ) I can go back to life, I just have to take time to remember them and what we missed out on. I still don't know why, I'm just praying to know One Day.