Broken Angel

Where to start...
We did have a wonderful three-day weekend with the kids-we had some eating out, some crazy running around the house-inside and out-every day, Isabella's birthday party (and I got to catch up with Tiffany-due in February with her fourth adorable baby!), church, Mary Claire had BSI with her friend, and today we got to play with Veronica and her precious babies!  (well, they are four and almost two, but so cute-they are little, so they are still babes to me-like Ethan).

We had Mary Claire's endocrinology appointment-and we didn't go to Little Rock!  We switched a few months ago to an endocrinologist in Northwest Arkansas, and today was our first appointment back with him (it's been two years since we've seen him!).  He's not a pediatric endocrinologist, but he is close to us, and Mary Claire is older now.  We went over her health, her sites, a new lancet (but it was by One Touch, and we aren't switching till they have one that only requires .3 microLiters. In my opinion, .5 to .6mL is just too much blood!!) (and their strips are not consistent-it takes almost two strips-and sometimes six or seven-to get one blood sugar reading-you get errors, too little blood, etc.) (I've been doing this for 6 3/4 years-I know what I'm doing-and One Touch still sucks.)  Gosh, back on track.. then we talked about his kids, and his adoption a couple years ago, right before we went back to Little Rock.

He adopted two adorable little girls (sisters), and they are thriving.  We veered into adoption, foster care, friends and people he knows caring for kids of Northwest Arkansas.  He encouraged us to get trained on caring for foster children, and we could offer to take in kids with diabetes, since we are so familiar, and definitely not scared.  It is a lot to consider, but Mary Claire is praying for a sweet girl just like her, and we don't know how God intends to answer her prayer.  We are open.

We know a little girl who struggles with her diabetes, and her family loves her, but it's tough, and she's been in the hospital, and I just think, we could take care of her.  I don't want to ask her dad to give her up, ..BUT.  There are other kids just like her, and after repeated poor care, they are removed from their homes.  There is usually no one equipped to care for them!  Can you imagine adjusting to care of a new child plus a new disease?  It'd only be one for us.


Anyway, then we had to go to the lab to get Mary Claire's blood drawn.  She was not prepared for it, and she cried.  Two years is a big difference.  Two years ago, she got her blood work done-I thought she'd be petrified, but she watched them draw the blood!!  Today, she was low right before we went to the lab, and just cried.  I felt so bad for her, but it was something I couldn't do for her.  I had brought four tiny cookies (Nestle's Minis), two for each of us after the appointment (so she'd have good blood sugar while we were there!), and I told her she could have one of mine too after the labwork.  (Big Girl Momma giving up a cookie..only for my baby! heehee)  She still cried, and said she just wanted to go home.  (Broke. My. Heart.)  She made it through, and I actually watched the blood draw-it was much less scary/creepy than I thought it would be-no messy squirting, leaking out, etc.  Then she had to give a urine sample, and it made her cry too.  What a hard life for an eight-year-old.  One arm was broken and in a sling, and the other had a band-aid and cotton ball taped across it.  Both were sore, so I helped her use the cup and go to the bathroom.  Stressful Day for her.  Glad she is safe and warm in bed now.

On the adoption front..
This weekend we also requested information from Bethany Christian Services (local adoption agency).  Just this evening, I filled out the preliminary form.  If they liked what I wrote (and my info?), they'll send me the Bethany Statement of Faith, and the Personal Statement of Faith (I guess they are different?), then if they like those, they'll tell us when and where their next adoption informational meeting is. (it's top-secret, undisclosed to outsiders!)  I'll keep you posted.  We are praying for God's hand to be on it if His will is there.


I didn't submit the Waiting Child application to Great Wall of China from last week, since they all ask if you've applied with anyone else, when, and the results.  I don't think they'll consider us if we are already working with another agency, understandably.
Oh!  I totally forgot to tell you-I called Great Wall of China on Friday afternoon, and we had a misunderstanding over email before.  Ches is not too old to apply for a healthy infant from China!  It will still be a 54-month wait, but we can proceed.  We are debating on local vs. international adoption, and we'll see how it pans out.  We could really do both-since it'd be so far apart in time! :)

Ches went back to the dermatologist today, and got some things burned off his head.  They are only pre-cancerous, so not to worry.  They are hurting him, but we are so glad he's keeping up with them.  Wear Sunblock, young people!! (well, you old people should too. :)

Most Honest Quote This Weekend:
"I didn't break it this time."
Ethan to me after he slid down the stair rail with his huge fluffy dragon costume in his hand, raking off all the stuff in its way-a tall box with lock, bird cage, wicker balls, a glass lamp, and my angel on a stand-the one he broke the wing off yesterday doing the same thing.  I fixed it last night (using super glue and masking tape to hold it together overnight).

Extra Information:
I still have some Christmas garland and lights up.  I make green tea every day (and drink a quart a day!).  I love skinny cheetos (and throw away the fat ones-somehow, in my mind they have less cheese per square inch of surface area).  We are considering building again.  Mary Claire's A1c (three-month blood sugar) was 7.6-higher than I like, but okay.  It lets us know how much damage her blood sugar is doing to her body (blood vessels), and what her average is overall.

If they get crabby, put them in water!

I watched a wreck today, and no, it was not exciting!  We drove through tons of pouring rain on the way to Little Rock today.  We went down for Mary Claire's endocrinology appointment today, and I had no idea that rain was forecast.  The traffic wasn't too bad, but once it was raining cats and dogs, everyone slowed to a crawl-which did NOT help things!  Then we were all too close together.  The wreck was in the oncoming traffic on highway 430-big, wide lanes, but once a khaki truck got bumped sideways, the cars started stacking up. I hydroplaned on the same bridge (opposite side), but I had seen it coming, and didn't brake or hit the gas, and made sure I wasn't near any cars.  I was fine, but the north-bound traffic?  Not so lucky.  It was the same coming home-pouring rain!  I do better in the left lane, since I can't see the white lines in the rain, but I can see the yellow one down the left side of the lane.  There were trucks close to me, but I couldn't get over since there was a truck barely in front of me in the right lane, and I'd catch his spray (can't think of a better word..splatter, road-splash-up, still thinking..), so I had to wait it out with someone too close on my bumper!  Enough to stress me.

I didn't even think to take pictures of Mary Claire when we were there (I have only taken one that I remember-when she was about three or four), so I don't have one for you.  : (

It was a bittersweet day.  Dr. Lee told us she was moving to Baton Rouge, Louisiana, to be closer to her family, and work down there.  She's being replaced by Annie Wang, but they told us they'd mail us an appointment, since she's not on staff yet.  I think we will switch back to Dr. Maass in Bentonville, since there is no longer a real benefit from driving that far to a specialist (well, a pediatric specialist).  She's eight now, so maybe she is old enough to graduate back to a plain endocrinologist.  Dr. Lee told us that everything looked great (her A1c-three month blood sugar average) and her blood sugars/boluses uploaded from her pump were good, and still appropriate for her age.  She said there was nothing more we could do.  I like that, but I don't.  I'd complain if she gave me a bad grade, but I always feel there is more to learn.  I wish she'd taught me something today.  I'm happy to be kinda done there, as it is so emotional to go back each time (after being there with Clay, and then with Mary Claire), so much comes flooding back, and just taking the exit makes me cry.  I pulled it together (since my kids are fine), then lost it again when we were leaving.  It was kinda goodbye-I hope for a long time.  I took out my camera, and thought to snap a couple pictures (all bad) of the Arkansas Capitol Building.  We've visited before, and took amazing pictures, especially of the stained glass ceiling..but, I don't know where they are!  So, here is my sucky picture:

Remember, I was trying to drive, not take a great picture!  So, here is one I snagged from a google search, and much better!

Then we left, and weren't ready to turn around and drive back quite yet.  We needed to walk around, and I needed to get motivated to drive all the way back! We went to Target, and Mary Claire picked three notebooks for school (yes, they were stocking the school stuff-I just love school supplies!), we looked for Ethan a lunchbox, but decided to let him pick, we got a little bit of clothes, and she picked a Barbie movie to watch on the way home.  Then we went to Chili's for dinner, and checked out the Gold Crown Store (a Hallmark with much more!).  I really liked it, and we'll have to go back!  We got there 14 minutes before they closed, so we did a really fast walk-through.  I bought a picture/canvas that we really liked, and I hung it as soon as we got home.  I usually take a long time to make a decision, but I thought I'd regret not getting it, and I'm not going back anytime soon.

I think you'll be able to read it, I enlarged it just a bit.  It was so sweet, and I was already loving on my girl, missing by boys, and it just seemed appropriate for our last Little Rock trip.  Mary Claire's favorite was: When they're crabby, put them in water!  hahaha  It does help, really!

Well after 11 hours, we are home and in bed.  I'm always super-thankful to make it home safely and to even be home.  It's good for me to miss the laundry.  heehee  Speaking of...I have been fitting laundry in-between things for two days, and I'm almost done, so I have accomplished something...putting it away is another story!

It's my bedtime..night-night!

iPad My Pad

Busy couple of days.  I'm soo tired!  I have gone to bed early (8:30 and 9:30!) the last two nights, and I still can't seem to catch up.  Tonight, I'll try it one more time.  (Third time's a charm?)
Mary Claire went to the Nickelodeon Kid's Day Naturals game on Saturday with Emily-and had so much fun!  She got to sit in the shade-Lucky Ducks!-and we are thankful since we didn't put sunblock on her!  She had Cracker Jacks, ice cream in a Naturals batting helmet souvenir, got a signed autograph of Stryker, the mascot-such fun!  I'll try to get a picture posted.  The girls have grown over the years, and it amazes me they'll be in third grade!  Where does the time go?

Ok, word to those over 35 or 40 (yes, I fall in this category, and promise to heed the warning):  If you have skin that droops/hangs over your belly button, you should No Longer go topless.  My neighbor, who might appear to be Hot Guy in clothes, is Old Guy when shirtless.  I witnessed the sadness last night as I pulled in the driveway.  I wanted so badly to tell him it was so much better With Shirt On, but I didn't want to be rude.  Someone needs to tell him.  So I'm telling all of you, in case you've deceived your neighbors!  Keep deceiving!
Thankfully, I will never wear a bikini again-partially because
a.) Clay said some girl on the bus said she'd seen his fat mom in a bikini out by the pool and partly because I probably have
b.) skin hanging out over my belly button.  And, lastly, 
c.) my husband has rock-hard abs and makes me look bad (but won't show his off).

Newest news:

Ches had a new toy, which I've touched once, and he's newly consumed.  Electronics = man toys.  He got his new iPad touch/3G/don't know the formal name for it.

 

He's so excited, and is playing with it as he watches his second newest hobby: watching The Office (he was Dude, Excited! that there were three straight hours on tonight!) which is straining his effort to learn all about the iPad.  I'm hearing both in the background, which are adding to my headache.  I'm such a party pooper.  (He left the iPad on my chair once, maybe trying to lure me into the excitement, but I can't be lured out of my uber-comfy bed).  I'm still happy about my new laptop (yeah, still new to me).

Still getting the house summerized..putting up all the sand and shells-changing out pillows and stuff-I have more to do tomorrow!  Ches is taking Ethan to school so I can get more done, Yay, Ches!  He isn't going in for the rest of the week (he was gone all day yesterday and today, and this is vacation!), so he can do more to help out.  I'm awful thankful after he's been gone.

I am taking Mary Claire to the orthodontist tomorrow.  She is getting her little spacers tomorrow since she gets her braces June 8th.  We are supposed to go to Little Rock on Thursday for her 3 month endocrine appointment, but I am so Not Excited to make the drive again.  Maybe it's because I just went down there a couple weeks ago?  I hope I remember to call Junko to have lunch!  She has a sweet daughter, Emily, who also has Type I Diabetes.  She's only a couple years younger than Mary Claire, and they do so well together!  We always share what we've learned, and it's good for us as moms and for the girls. : )  It makes the trip worth it!
Clay's practice today was rained out, which we were thankful for.  He stays so busy, and it's nice to have a night off.  Tomorrow they have a game, so we may be wishing they had more practice, but I'm still thankful!  It makes for a longer dinner and peace at night.  They had ice cream for dessert, and Clay made all sorts of medieval weapons out of Tinkertoys.  I know it sounds bad, but it was so creative!  I should have taken pictures of his research/design, but I was up on a ladder changing out the fireplace art/stuff!  (I even tied starfish to my candles!)  He's a boy, and needs time to be creative.  He's been not-so-easy to get along with lately, and I can't pinpoint a cause.  He doesn't want me to rub his back, hug or kiss him, and pushes me away.  It hurts my feelings!  Ches had a conversation with him this evening, and Clay came down and hugged me.  I know he's growing up, but does it happen this early?  He seems angry.  I don't know if tough stuff is going on at school, or if the medicine he takes is wearing off, and he's tired from the day.  I just don't know.  We go back to the doctor, so maybe I'll mention it.  I never know when a phase is a big deal or something to gloss over-it's hard when you are in it!  I'll only know in a couple months what I should have done!
And guess what I forgot to post Sunday?  We swam on Sunday and Monday!  Here are a couple pictures:

Dishwasher Man Needs Confession

I finally got my dishwasher yesterday.  Finally.  I know-I had to wait a whole 24 hours for it to be delivered, but it's been two weeks of hand washing!  It was a long day, I had to call to see if the man was coming. Twice.  Then he stayed till 6-right through our dinner hour (and the kids were dying to have pancakes!), and Mary Claire had her first reconciliation (confession) and had to be there at 6:30-talk about stress!

About 5:45 when I could see that it was still going to be a while, I called Tim's and ordered a pizza.  There was a mess, and a man, in my kitchen that was impossible to cook around.  Anyway, Ches left with Mary Claire hoping to get her fed first.  Then the man finished up, and asked to check my water pressure. (?)  He checked the one on the outside, and came back to tell me it is 85-90 psi.  (And..?)  And! He told me he wouldn't guarantee his work (installation) if I had water pressure that high.  He said I needed a PRV (pressure reduction valve) on my water.  It'd be $200 to add it to the line by my hot water heater, or twice that to add it to the meter, and he'd probably have to dig it up.  (What?)  Then he told me that Fridgidaire wouldn't warranty the dishwasher with water pressure that high.  Ok, I'll correct him in a moment.  But, I had a kid in the car, and we had to get to Tim's, to get Mary Claire to her first confession, in which I'd be joining her for my not nice thoughts.


Anyway, I didn't think too much about it; I had bigger fish to fry.  We scarfed (I think it should be scarved, but spell check says no, heehee) down some pizza, had 19 bathroom breaks, and I took her to the church.  It went well, only an hour (no! most of it was waiting in line!), and we were home.


Ches had time to look in the Whirlpool manual (told you he was a goofball, or did I..?), and it says for it to work properly, you need 20-120 psi.  Ha.  Longer story shortened, the next day, a Lowe's person called to check on my installation, and I told her the story, and she said he doesn't have the authority (and she said it kinda Mom-like, as in, "How dare he!") to not warranty his work.  If he doesn't sign the warranty, he doesn't get paid.  So, we are warranteed, and all is well.  Too bad we ate out, and didn't have many dishes. : (


I've already taken two days to write this post, so I have to hurry.  Yesterday-blur (including moody, carb-inhaling, whiny, getting everything ready for today..), and today: Little Rock.  We are heading to Arkansas Children's Hospital for Mary Claire's endocrinology appointment.  I didn't realize it was so soon (thought it was April!), until we got the reminder in the mail.  I even called yesterday to see if we could transfer her back to our local endocrinologist (that's a hard word to type-try it!), but they wanted a referral, clinic  notes, etc. and I can't exactly get that if I don't go.  Oh, and their first available appointment is in May.  ACH is about the same.  They tell you that you have to get your A1c checked every 3 months, but they can only get you in every 6.  Doctors.  If you need a new money-making profession, consider endocrinology.  If you have an extra 9 years laying around.


Ok, seriously have to get ready!  Have a good day, and enjoy not being in a car for at least 7 hours! : )

Endocrinology and Emotion

I just threw up in my throat. Again! It has to stop. I have run out of my Protonix (remember my reflux problem that was causing my sore throat and missing voice?), and my problem seems to have intensified. It burns and really aggravates me! I have eaten three Tums-maybe it'll tone down my acid? I know. A call to my doctor is the only solution. : )

The reason I didn't blog on Thursday (and maybe Friday...) was because of Mary Claire's endocrinology appointment at Children's Hospital. It was an emotional visit, which I didn't expect, and one for which I wasn't prepared.

We made the long drive Thursday morning (which took me longer than I'd allowed!), and had a great lunch with our friends Junko and Emily. It was a wonderful visit-the girls just played and we got to talk diabetes. I don't have that many friends who have kids with diabetes, and we can always learn something from one another (and I think the girls do too!).

We went into the doctor, and everything was going well. But then it all came crashing down. Dr. Morales has insisted that Mary Claire use alternate pump sites (the location where her pump tubing clicks into a site/port that goes under her skin and gets changed every three days). Anyway, we've had some high blood sugars, and she thinks our sites might be part of the problem. After you've used the same location(s) over and over and over (five years to be exact), you build up scar tissue. Her doctors have been telling us this for years. She needed to try other site locations: tummy, back of her arm, front of her thigh, etc. She wouldn't hear of it, and I just blindy believed that if we kept the sites healthy, changed, moved them around, that she'd be okay. I didn't think she'd build up scar tissue. I just didn't. It was my baby, and I wanted to do whatever would make her most comfortable (second in line after not having it at all). So, now she actually has scar tissue. That's why we've seen some highs in the last couple of weeks.

Long(er) story short, I changed her site this morning (after another high), and she was still 246 this morning! I tried her tummy for a site after much bribing (two new outfits from Gymboree-watermelons and cakes/dots), dinner out, time with Gigi, etc.). She cried the entire time, wanted medicine, needed loving and hugs, and was generally pathetic. Now I'm the Bad Guy. I hate that. I don't have a choice. I have to do what works to keep her alive, and moving her sites around is that option. If she goes back to shots (uh, no thanks!), she could give her bottom a rest, but that's not really an option either. I'm between a rock and a hard place here. So, give me a break, say some prayers, and give me some suggestions?

The other thing that the doctor said we had to do was drop two snack times and add more protein to her meals. That is tough since MY BABY LOVES HER FOOD! Especially her snacks. It's about the only joy she gets right now. So, this week as school gets ready to start (another even crashing into our schedule!), we are having to wean her rather quickly. She's going to drop her morning snack, and her 1:30 school snack. She's used to having them (especially all summer!), but they have to go. Her doctor said, and I quote, "She isn't a baby, and she has to stop eating like one! She is a big girl, and doesn't need all those snacks!" This comes after they (Arkansas Children's Hospital) taught me to care for her, set up our meal plan, and I dutifully obeyed. Well. Now the dietician (precious Lisa who helped us at diagnosis five years ago), says they don't teach all the snacks and frequent eating to maintain blood sugars anymore. They've had tons of kids have real trouble breaking the habit, so they've ceased the teachings. Fine time to tell me.

At first it was mucho difficulto. It has gotten easier, as she's eating larger meals. Like breakfast today was oatmeal (33 grams), scrambled eggs (good protein, no carbs), and two slices of toast (24 grams), and fit right into her 40-60 gram breakfast recommended by Lisa. She used to just eat one thing, but we are having to play with protein (such fun!). She can also combine yogurt, but no bread then. It's working, but requiring me to CoOk in the morning hours! : O Can I keep it up? and for how long?

So call me the Emotional Bad Guy (Girl?) who gets to take it from both sides. It's never easy being a parent. And where's that manual I requested?

Any good suggestions for breakfasts or lunches with protein? (that are not loaded down with fat?)