Emotional Maybe?

Ok, something is up with me.  I think I cried at least four times yesterday.  It can be very stress-relieving, but it only left me with a massive headache that caused me more pain.  I drove to Little Rock for MC's appt. no problem, but then.  The traffic at 2pm was unbelievable!  They have torn up 430 going through Financial Parkway/630 and it has caused so much traffic backup and stress!  I had to weasel my way through there, and get to Arkansas Children's Hospital. I don't know why I insisted on taking her back there.  I was convinced it was better care.

We couldn't find the building, since they've TORN UP the road through Children's. I mean, concrete barriers as soon as you turn off 630, and Good Luck finding anything.  I cried again, stressed to the max, my appointment time had passed (by two minutes, so it wasn't the End of the world).  I couldn't get an address-Ches kept giving me a 16 Children's Way, which wasn't in GPS land.  The roads were torn up, so he couldn't map it over the phone.  Just chaos.  I finally kept driving around and found our building.  Then the ladies at the desk didn't want me to check in, they wanted me to use the computers, even though there was a handy clipboard with the peel-off stickers for the patient's name, DOB, etc.  Then we calmed down, read a book she brought, and finally got called back.

We did the usual height, weight, download the blood sugars on the meter, and download (or upload?) the data from her pump, then we had to gather catch capture a urine sample.  Always fun.  I hope they are doing something really important with it besides checking for ketones.  We could've done that with a strip.  Anyway, we waited so long in the room, we finished her chapter book.  Then a new doctor came in, Dr. Lee (my new favorite), and she was so sweet.  I felt like she was understanding even though she wanted to challenge us.  She wants us (believe it or not) to try to check Mary Claire fewer times.  She says she can't tell if it's her bolus ratio (for food) that is a problem of her basal when we check so often.  What?  I told her the same people advocating for fewer checks now are the same girls who trained me (yes, 5.7 years ago..) to check every two hours.  She says things have changed.   Yep, like they changed and told me Mary Claire shouldn't eat every two hours the last time I went down there.  When do we get notified of Changes?  Could there be a form letter that goes out?  I know it'll change again.  Anyway, I told her I'd cut to six times a day, which is a lot less.  We are going to try not to check so much at night.  It'll be hard at first, knowing if she's low, but we will resist.

Then, when we were leaving, they told us there was snow already in Hot Springs and El Dorado, and it was coming!  I thought we had a while, but it was on its way.  We ran back into Barnes and Noble ('nother story, 'nother day) and got the book Mary Claire needed to complete her life, and grabbed some yummy veggies soup and dessert.  We jumped (ok, crawled) back to 430 and headed home.  I kept talking to Ches since 40 was covered with pink (snow), and it was coming up towards 540 (scary way-high bridges, my biggest concern).  I GPS'd a new route up to Harrison on old 65, then west on 412 back home, but it was going to take almost twice as long. : (  By the time we got near 65, Ches said the pink was gone, and the temperatures would hold out above 32 degrees till almost 11pm-plenty of time to get home.  Amazingly, we never saw one snowflake, so it was fine.  I was so thankful for a safe trip.  I was literally on the edge of my seat, and so stressed (nerves, exhaustion?), I just wanted to go home and go to bed.  It was such a long day-physically and emotionally.

Today (I forgot to tell you about my garage door drama-it doesn't work basically), the garage door man is coming to repair/adjust our big garage door to make it WORK.  (or that's my hope)  I've been parking on Ches' side, and I don't know how he's getting the door up and down.  I guess he's doing it the old-fashioned way and raising it by hand?  I wasn't here yesterday, so I missed out.  I hope it is functioning soon, it's so cold for me to get out and punch in the code to open his door.  We don't know where all those button-thingies are since our vans have their own programmable buttons inside.  Handy when they work, not-so-handy when they doors don't work.

Today is Valentine's Day parties at school.  I'm thankful not to be "in charge" of either one.  I can show up and just help.  Clay left his cards at home, so I need to remember to take them in.  He forgot his lunch too, but Ches saw it!  He must have much better things on his mind! : )  All righty, gotta get ready for another repair person.  I hope they do the job, and don't try to upsell.  Ches is already considering remodeling/updating/and a trip to Disney for the kids in July, since we may not make it to the beach in August. : ) 
Ok, now the phone is ringing, and the doorbell just rang.  My day is getting started!

Cranky and Hormonal

I'm sorry I'm neglecting you, dear blog.

I don't know where to start...I've been crazy busy (normal for me), Ethan has croup, but is sleeping, and I accidentally fell into all these websites/blogs for moms of kids with Type I diabetes. I'm just crying reading them all. Some are in the newest stages, and some are pro by now. I fit in the middle. Five years is rounding the bend. May 23, to be exact. I think I'm just hormonal, but I just keep crying today. Is it the daily work or just the knowledge of it, or the fact that her nurse has called twice-she got extra recess and played hard (and was lowish-80), then worked hard in p.e. and felt low again (only 91, but she must be headed down to feel low). I assigned another snack, so we'll see what we get when she gets home. It's just another job, and I can't quit that one. Hmph. Frustrating. (and hormonal doesn't mix well with it-it just produces yuck and tears).

I'm at a fork in the road, and I can't decide what to do. I've been blogging a while, been kicked off Google ads (ha, they think I was bribing clicks or something), and blogging is indeed work. I only started it to journal and get out frustrations so I could sleep (and get the garbage off my chest). Am I done? Did I get it out? Is it still helping? Or is it one more thing to do before I go to bed? I'm thinking about it.

I have found this whole other world that I didn't even know existed. I don't know how people keep up! There's so much to do and so many people to talk to! Maybe I'll just follow other people who blog. There are plenty of people who have things to say! : ) I love finding out about other people's families and how they keep up with kids (and diabetes)!

I have a wonderful life, and I'm so thankful for all of the sweet people in it. I don't know if I stress myself more by going over my yuck again at the end of the day. I'll mull it over, and keep you posted.

I'd wanted to make pump pouches this afternoon, but the day has gone so fast! I've done laundry all day, cleaned up all Ethan's messes after he had his Prednisone high, made him pizza (he ate three pieces!), and now I have to plan for when the kids come home. Mary Claire has gymnastics today, so I'll have to get her ready. I'm tired of this school year. I'm tired of taking her and Ethan to gymnastics, I'm tired of girl scouts, and tired of all the field trips. I need summer to get here. If just to stay home. I need my phone to not ring for one afternoon so I can nap. or sew. or have time to think.

I'm just cranky. And I've still got a long way to go in the next month. We have a couple of slumber parties, a few birthday parties, projects, trip to Disney, JDRF Family Team Kickoff, and that's just the stuff I know about coming to my May. Next year, I'm going to schedule a week to stay home (and declare it a vacation).