Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Motherhood (has) Rocks (and grass stains)

Of course my goal is always to be nice, but ick.  Sometimes it's hard.

I'll start at the beginning (and go till I get tired..).  I went back to the doctor today for another ultrasound (same results).  Then we had another doctor appointment, and he really recommended a d & c.  He said I could do it the other way, but if I lost too much blood, I'd have to have an emergency d&c, and by then, I'd be compromised, causing more possible damage.  Long story short, I go in tomorrow for surgery.  He didn't want to wait too long.  (I read that they don't want to let you go for more than three days, since the depression after becomes more serious.)
So, I went downstairs to the hospital, worked my way through pre-admission, then had bloodwork.  I cried while they were drawing blood (I'm sure partly out of anxiety, partly because it made it seem a little more real).  They told Ches he could come over by me, and he did.
Ches had told me by noon, he had to go (this dragged on for hours).  We left there about 12, and went our separate ways.  The doctor had given me a prescription for Xanax to help me sleep, so I stopped by to get it filled.  I had to get something to eat and pick up Ethan, as my Mother's Day Out was nearly over (never what you envision for your Day Out).
I stopped by MarketPlace, and who do I see running into the movies?  You'd never guess, so I'll tell you.  My husband.  Yep, color me so proud.  I'd been tagged and banded (and have to wear it till after surgery tomorrow), had blood drawn, discussed students watching (no), and the process and recovery.  And he was going to be late for his movie.
I drove over to make sure it was his car, and I wasn't mistaken.  I've learned that you can't know anyone too well.  I called his cell phone, and he didn't answer.  Later he called me, and told me he was "making his way to the University" (by way of Hot Tub Time Machine?).  I told him I'd seen him run in (and he'd changed into shorts! Convenient).  He told me he'd felt guilty that he was at the movies, and he'd left.  I said, no, you didn't answer my call, and the call made you feel guilty, so then you left.  He said that was true.  (First Truth)  He didn't have anything else to say (and there's nothing more at that point for him to say, as nothing would have been good enough).
I picked up Ethan, and went home, and there he was (after I told him not to come home-after he said he could "cancel his schedule and come home to help") (so...cancel the movie plans?).  I just took my Xanax and laid down for a nap.
I know I have to get ready-tomorrow I'll be useless, and so much needs to be done.  I have been working my way through the laundry (maybe only two more loads to go).  Clay was complaining he had no more baseball socks to wear to practice today, and he said I could check the clean laundry.  I said there was no clean laundry to check.  I felt bad.  It's been at least a week (far too long).  I've washed, folded, and hung.  I'm getting there.  And he has baseball socks now.  I'm planning to make some baked potato soup in the crock pot in the morning so we'll have dinner.  I'm trying to think ahead.
Ches was telling me at the doctor today what a crazy, busy day he has tomorrow, so I told him Angie had told me she'd come down and go with me tomorrow (since I can't drive myself).  (Maybe there's another movie tomorrow?  ...I promise to let it go soon.)
Angie will be here in the morning, and I have to be at the hospital by 10:30 or 11 (I have to call to see how the surgery schedule is going, I'm fifth), and my surgery isn't until at least 12:30.  Then they promised me they'd give me something for anxiety (or put me to sleep) before they do my iv, as I want to remember nothing, especially falling asleep.  It only takes about 20 minutes, then I'll be in recovery for a while, then go home within an hour and a half.  The worst is I can't eat after midnight tonight, so I'll be starving by noon tomorrow!  The admissions nurse said I could wake up before midnight and drink a glass of water so I won't be dehydrated by noon tomorrow.  Joy.
Ok, one more thing.  When you send around an email to tell people of the tragedy of another, you should try to ensure that all recipients have good email etiquette.  I received one of these "forwards" today, and it just killed me.  Not only that someone was unintelligent enough to send it on to me, but that there were people talking about me (even if it seemed nice enough).  All email addresses were still in the email, and it was just painful.  May we all take a lesson, (1) don't forward, and if you absolutely must, (2) delete everyone's email addresses, and make sure if it's about someone, (3) that they don't get it.
Ok, one more.  And I'm sure I'm ultra-touchy, but give me a pass this time.  If you are a nurse at an ob/gyn's office, and someone has just had an ultrasound, and looks all red, blotchy, and teary, DON'T ask all perky, "How did your ultrasound go?"  I just stared at her.  So, she asked again, and added, "Didn't you have an ultrasound this morning?"  I said, "Badly".  Her: Oh really?
And I'll end on the tiny happys that happened today, since we all need a break.  We hid and hunted for Easter eggs today (and hid chocolate surprises in some of them, and ate them!), Mary Claire asked all about friendship bracelets (and ordered 8 in pink, purple, baby blue and lime green-then wanted to know if they were done yet?), we got out my old embroidery floss, and we started some.  I called an old (junior high) friend that I used to make them with, and we got to catch up while she coached me over the phone.  I'd made a roast this morning, and left it in the crockpot all day, so I had a good dinner.  Ethan asked for Bible stories again tonight, then he wanted to tell stories!  He kept telling me, "Once upon a time..there was a beautiful man named John (we've been reading in Luke when Zechariah was told he'd have a son, he didn't believe, and was mute till he told what the child's name would be, John the Baptist was born, etc.) and he had a pond, and his brother told him to Stay away from the pond! And he did.  (and he retold the story over and over!)  It was so cute that he was making up a story and using story words.  I almost fell asleep laying there, but it was precious.  I'm working on being thankful for the kids I have here with me.  Well, walking around with me.
I kinda would like to ask to see them tomorrow, but I don't know if that's weird.  Or if it'd make me feel worse.
My doctor did consult with another doctor, and said there is one more panel of tests (of even more rare complications and blood clotting problems), and he will run those in about 4 weeks.  He has one patient who has one of the clotting problems, she had miscarriages, and is still currently pregnant.
Last thing I have learned.  Just because someone is pregnant, doesn't mean there is going to be a baby at the end.  Don't take it for granted.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Managing the Pain

This may be the hardest one to write yet.  I don't even know where to begin.  I have to start somewhere, because I have to get it out.
I went to my doctor's appointment and ultrasound appt. on Monday.  The u/s tech started the measurements really quickly, before Ches was even in the room.  It was before my appointment time, so he was still parking.  She measured everything very fast, and I didn't get to say/ask anything.  About the time Ches got there, she asked me about the babies' sacs-if there was a membrane between them.  She said she was going to get the doctor, since he'd probably want to look.  Ches and I had a few words-he wasn't happy he'd missed the measurements, and we waited.  My doctor walked in and told me the tech couldn't find any heartbeats.  I just laid on the table.  What do you say?  I was in total shock/disbelief.  I made it this far?  This is the safe time-I made it to 12 weeks.
He showed me on the ultrasound, because I just kept staring at him.  He helped me up, and said to take some time, and to meet him in his office.  I lost it.  I couldn't breathe.  I could've hyperventilated-I just couldn't get air.  I was in total disbelief.
We walked down to his office, as red-faced and teary as they come.  We passed tons of nurses, and there were people waiting outside the ultrasound room when we came out.  I'd feel horrible to see people come out like that-but to be those people?  Even harder.
We talked with the doctor, and again, like the last two times, he said it could be chromosomal.  He's going to consult with a geneticist in Little Rock to see if he has an opinion about testing (both the genetic material of the babies and Ches and me).  I just disagree.  Why did I go so much longer?  The babies were perfectly formed.  (and no, I didn't get any pictures this time)  I think it was the placenta.  Which was my next question: why did it take both of them, and not just one?  He said whatever happened, happened to both of them.  It worries me that they were sharing a placenta (which is what I was praying would not be the case).  There are no good answers.
He told me that it had only happened in the last 48-72 hours.  I estimate that to be Friday afternoon to Saturday afternoon.  What was I doing when their hearts stopped?  Could I tell?  They were measuring 10 weeks, 6 days, so he said that's how he could tell when it happened.  Apparently, they start to shrink a little each day, so they count backwards in time.

Now, I have the next hardest hurdle to overcome, and it is quickly becoming equally difficult.  They are still in me, and I've still had no bleeding.  The doctor launched right into management-a d&c (and ALL it's complications: transfusions-including contracting Hepatitis or HIV from blood, even a hysterectomy), and I could only stare at him (interspersed with crying).  What?
I just told him I didn't want a d and c, and what else is there?  I now know there is expectant management (wait and see approach, your body delivers in its own time: could be up to a month), and medical management (you're given medication to cause dilation and contractions, and come with horrible pain, vomiting/diarrhea and severe cramping).  So those are my options.  I told him I didn't have a clue, and what if they were okay and he gave me the medications, and he killed them? (this would be grief, stage one: shock and denial)
I came home to lay in bed.  How can I be expected to make a decision?  I want them to stay right where they are.  (but we don't always get what we want)  I laid in bed with the most awful headache all evening.  I was in severe pain.  I don't know if it was not enough sleep the night before, the stress of it all, the dropping hormones.  I can't say.  I still have a headache today, just not as severe.  I couldn't fall asleep.  I laid in my bed until 10 pm, and nothing.  Just laid there, with awful thoughts in my head.  I finally was granted sleep about 10:30, then I was back up at 2:30.  I didn't get back to sleep until almost 5, so today I bought some Unisom.  I cannot function on that much sleep.
Today I have new problems (in addition to the headache, and a big decision that looms over me).  I have to deal with people.  I wasn't thinking.  I know when I'm happy I'm pretty darn cheerful, but when you hear cheerful chirping and general happy-talk from other people, it's hard.  They want to ask how I'm doing, and exchange nice words, and I don't have any.  I had to tell three people today, and this is not my idea of fun.  I'm not good at giving bad news.  I don't know what to say.  I don't want to tell a story every time, I don't want to cry again (I've already got burns around my eyes where the salty tears have hurt my skin-it feels raw, and is painful).  And I'm still all big-tummy-looking, so you can't see that things are different.  What do you say?  I mean they are still in there, they just aren't there.
I had to tell Mary Claire last night, which is the absolute hardest, and I was absolutely dreading it.  She came in the bedroom to check on me, and asked if the babies were okay.  I just shook my head no, and she looked so concerned.  She asked if they were alive, and I told her their hearts stopped beating.  So she asked if they'd be alive when they came out, and I had to shake my head again.  I was losing it, and she could tell.  I didn't know what else to say.  She cried and rubbed my tummy.  She's such a precious, caring girl.  I hope I can remember what a loving heart she has when I'm tempted to complain about how messy she is.  She is just precious.
Ethan laid in bed with me for a while from 9ish to 10ish while I was tired, but couldn't sleep.  He's a cuddle-bug, and was good for me.  We had no baby words, which made it even easier.
Today I'm researching, preparing for tomorrow.  I have another ultrasound (since my doctor wants me to be sure), and then an appointment again, presumably to make a decision.  I am trying to get ready, but I don't know what I'll do yet.  A d and c is instant, but I'm totally against being put to sleep and scraped out.  The other two are slower and painful.  If they could me managed at the hospital, maybe.  They are so big now, that it's too much to do alone at home. : (
Ok, I have hungry kids, so I have to make time for them and dinner.  I'll do more research and get ready.  Say a prayer for my hurt and angry and un-understanding heart.  This is number three (and four), and I can't take much more.  I don't even understand, at some point don't you break even?  I have more babies in Heaven than on Earth now.  It just seems wrong.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. 
He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. 
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.  Psalm 23 1:6

Saturday, March 27, 2010


Hallelujah! (if that's spelled correctly..)  I finally have my desk set up and running again.  Good grief-two days of Piles of stuff!  The kids helped move all my stuff from the office (which Ches called the Baby Room today! heehee), into our room where are desks are hard at work.
We went to Sam's last night and got a new wall-mount tv for between our desks-woohoo!-but Ches is choosing to watch this crazy Phone Booth movie right now (gross!).  It is working out.  The Baby Room (can I just giggle?) looks absolutely pathetic (dusty and two-tone walls), and I know it'll get better, but yuck.  We are shuffling furniture, which I didn't realize we had so much (not necessarily a good thing).  The buffet-thing won't fit back here, so it has to stay or go upstairs, or move to a new home (not in ours).  The white bookshelf/display shelf thing can come in here, but the wood bookshelf has to go-maybe to Ethan's room?  But Ches is worried he'll climb it, and it'll come down on him, not so good.  Then we'll have to make room for it in Ethan's room by moving the armoire down to the babies room (heehee).  You get the idea.
When I put Ethan to bed, he asked me to read his "Bible stories".  He points to his baby blue baby Bible.  I got it down (no pictures), and he just likes me to read to him.  It turned out to be the most precious time-Mary Claire ran and got her new Bible (well, maybe from last year?), and we read together.  Ethan was so happy, and just laid down to listen to us.  We do not do this enough, so we'll have to try harder.  I think we read most of the first half of John (I just opened up, and wanted to start with parables).  Sweet, sweet babies.
My sweet husband is making me a snack.  I'm starving and ready for bed, but I just had to pay a couple bills, check my email, and actually try out my new desk (well, the new location..).
Tomorrow is Palm Sunday!  We are all excited that Easter is coming so quickly!  Maybe that's one reason that we give something up for Lent?  We want to see the day Jesus rises even more!  We count, and we wait.  Ches counted days yesterday, and Mary Claire counted today!  Church should be longer tomorrow, and Ethan wants to sit in big church!  I'm praying that he's my precious boy and is as good tomorrow as he was today at the movies!  Bless his heart-he made it all the way through How to Train a Dragon (3D), mostly without his glasses-would've given me a major headache!  And I just have to say, without saying too was a very good movie.  I cried (hormones, maybe?), and thought it was precious when the viking dad was finally proud to call his son his son (redundant, but I can't think of a better way to say it!).  It was precious-and they learned that dragons were not mean, just a great movie.  Tolerance, patience, acceptance, friendship-and a boy character that so many can identify with-a kid who doesn't feel like he fits in.  Just see it. : )  I'll be purchasing a copy, so you can borrow it if you just can't go. (It'll just take longer!)
Ok, so back to Palm Sunday.  Let's get ready-laying palms at the feet of Jesus as he rides the donkey into Jerusalem.  Are we ready?  To accept that He died on the cross for our sins? and the sins we will still make?
..Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord.  Blessed is the coming kingdom of our father, David... Psalm 118:25-26

Friday, March 26, 2010

Not Everything Changes

I've been either too busy or tired to write!  We've been cleaning the attic (Still..) and moving furniture! (well, I'm cleaning it off, Ches moves it, I really clean it, then put the stuff back on..)
We still aren't completely done with the attic.  There are still teacher files all over the dining room floor-maybe 6 tubs and 3 or 4 boxes?  I have had real trouble.  I can't part with them.  It was super easy (ok, pretty easy) to let all the manipulatives go.  I think I realize I can always buy more.  But files.  They take years to accumulate.  They are worth more!  It took me forever to put all those units and author studies together.  I am sure if I ever teach again, it'll be totally different, but math doesn't change.  I have tons on math, science (water, energy, etc.), social studies-things that can't change.  We'll always add and subtract, learn about our environment, and have communities and government.  So, after consulting with three different people (for advice, in case I'm hormonally-off-my-rocker), I've decided to keep them.  Ches told me to try again tomorrow.  Ha!  I did, but cried more.  What if something happened to him (please, God, forbid this)?  It's the only degree I currently have (even if I do want to go back to school..), so I'd have to teach.  And I'd need my tools, beginning with my files and books.  So there.  Back to the attic with you, Dusty Things!
We began clearing out the office-soon-to-be-baby-room.  We have successfully moved both desks, hutches, and the in-between-desks thingie.  Maybe a picture would help? (I'd totally give you one, but I can't find the cord to connect the camera to the computer!!  Haven't you been wondering why all my pictures are old?)  I've put all his stuff back on his desk, so his is up and running, but mine is in shambles.  Really.  There are piles all over the office-quite a mess.  And now I'm tired and ready for a nap.  I can only get work done from 8-1ish, and 4-9ish.  Other than that, I'm kaput (bad spelling..but I mean I'm worthless other-time-wise).
I've excited Ches-I told him that Yes! we could get a new tv to go in the back of our room!  Because Heaven knows we need another one in our house!  He likes to watch some tv (sports, news, American Idol, etc.) while he's working-mostly on the computer.  So,  he wants a new tv between our desks in the back of our room-it would be really awkward to turn around to see the one over by the bed.  Confusing, but just believe me.  Again, looking for that camera cord...and I'll show you!
The big kids are at Mom's-which is how we got all this done today!  We did have one mighty strong helper, but he's busy working at taking a nap right now.  He has to protest loudly and strongly to let us know how much he does NOT want a nap, but then he cries himself right to sleep every day!  He's so much nicer to be around after he wakes up.  It's a hard dilemma (nap or no), but he'll need to take one this fall, so we are working on it early.
Ok, back to some cleaning and a nap for me.  There's still so much to do!  I'm busy growing babies! : )  (Thank you, God, for babies to grow and kids to play with!)
ps-Ok, gotta make you laugh.  About a year and a half ago, I painted the office.  I was working alone mostly, so I couldn't move furniture.  Well, now the desks are moved, and you can see how far I could reach behind the desks!  There are big splotches of the green behind where the desks were!  So, yeah, those will have to be painted...  Did I say how much work there still is to do?

Monday, March 22, 2010

Jackson Pollack Crayons

I didn't find time to write yesterday, due to the ChAoS!  I had to spend over an hour cleaning out my dryer-Someone left crayons in their coat, and the melty wax COVERED all the coats and clothes in there.  They'd played outside in the very wet snow, and I'd just gotten the laundry started!  I began with the dripping coats-yes, they had a snowball fight, AND it was sleeting/snowing while they played outside!  I got them all washed, no problem, loaded them in the dryer, and set them on "Bulky Load" to run it extra long to get all the thick, fluffy coats dry so they could wear them out to dinner later.  Umm, mistake.  I'll have to show you pictures of the Jackson Pollock-style coats.  Yes, really.  Luckily the outsides of the coats are navy and brown, so only the insides (pink and yellow) are grossly covered in waxy crayon coloring.  The worst was a pair of Ethan's Gymboree orange socks that he LOVES, and they were so gross, I threw them away.  There was also a pair of wind pants that he really likes, but I'm envisioning them in the trash also...
They had a great time outside, and I made Ethan some dump-a-lings, so everyone got nice and full, and took naps.  We went out to dinner, and so many places were closed!  We found PF Chang's open, so we went there, and the kids ate really well.  Even Ethan!  I never know how it'll go.  Clay ate a ton (loved the lettuce wraps!), and Mary Claire ordered fried rice-not surprised!  We all ordered a tiny dessert, but Ethan didn't like the apple pie one he ordered, so before anyone got a chance, Clay ate it too!  Ahh, brothers.
Ok, back to me...I cleaned the dryer out with Goo Gone, then with some spray cleaner-simple clean, or something?  Anyway, then I was really worried to put in light clothes, since the dryer drum has this bluish-greenish-purplish tint to it.  As long as I kept rubbing, color kept coming off, and I've got a life!  So, I dried some blue and green towels and washcloths, and now I'm stuck.  I have a light load already washed in the washer, just Waiting.  I can't put it in yet, until the color is sufficiently off, and I can't wash more since there are wet things in the washer.  Ugh.  I'll have to move the wet (hopefully-not-smelling-yet) stuff to a basket, then run some dark stuff.  -of which I have plenty of since we cleaned rooms today, took down dirty clothes, and I haven't done laundry since Friday.  Yay, Tuesday.  I guess I'll rewash the wettish stuff.  Always fun.
On a more positive note, we are gaining a Really Clean Attic!  We've eliminated maybe half the stuff.  Half to Salvation Army (Ches' van is already full), half to give away (mostly teacher stuff), and half to still go through.  Yes, I'm aware that's three halves, but you should see how much stuff it is!  I have narrowed down girl baby clothes, baby toys, I've ditched bottles, stuffed animals, big kid toys, decorating stuff, blankets, pictures and frames, tents, etc.  Very Cleansing!  Ches even moved his desk into the bedroom today, just while I was on the phone.  I haven't cleaned/decorated/set it up yet, but we'll get there.  He's so much faster than I am, and I'm still going through tubs!
I have to say I'm excited, but nervous to see the office empty.  It means I need to work on decorating it (not hard!), just very real.  I still have the dark wood/white wood dilemma.  I want to use all of our baby furniture that we bought for this very reason, but two throws me a curve ball.  I haven't found a close match for our baby crib, and now they make them all short-without a side that drops!  And I do like some matching in a baby room.  I think I'd rather have two colors than a height that doesn't match up.  At least maybe it'll look like I chose it on purpose?

FYI-I get charged for one delivery, but have two hospital bills for the babies.  I'm all knowledgeable since I went to the doctor today.  I also learned that a multiple ultrasound (yep, that's where they make their money!) is $695!  A regular abdominal is just $270.  Ha.  Maybe I'll get to look at them twice as long?  I go next week for an ultrasound, so I hope it's a better look-with some answers!
ps-since when do you get a cotton ball with masking tape instead of a band-aid after having blood drawn?  It really hurts to pull masking tape off 12 hours later!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Cinderella's Cleaning!

Ok, finally back on my home planet!  It takes a couple days to decompress (or is it to compress again?), and to get family back on track.
We made it in late Thursday, helped the kids with homework due on Friday, and then to bed.  Friday morning was all catch-up.  Mom had done laundry, but it was all over the house, so I had to track it all down, find hangers, sort the clothes, and put them away.  Then we cleaned, and Ches really helped!  We vacuumed (actually, I don't think I ever touched it..), and mopped the kitchen floor-and even Ethan helped! : )  He was down on his hands and knees with a rag rubbing spots!  I think it helped that I wasn't the only one working.
Ethan realllly wanted "Dump-a-lings" as he calls them, so I agreed.  We started making the broth, and didn't have enough bouillion cubes, so we improvised and used seasonings, celery, etc. until it was just right.  I measured the flour and got ready to make the dumplings (rolled-out, cut, dumplings), and we had no eggs!  I had to tell him I had tried my hardest.  He settled for Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup (almost two whole cans!), and then I was tired.  We laid down for nap, and the phone started ringing.  He got a nice nap, and I got to catch up.
My sweet friend, Angie, came a little after three, and we got to catch up all evening!  She brought me her maternity clothes, and we looked through all of the tubs-mine too.  I'm finally at a big-enough-tummy-size that I need bigger pants, and she confirmed it.  When it's you growing, you aren't sure if you are just bigger-bloated, or bigger-baby.  Then it seems you grow everyday, so you can't remember how you looked last week!  I know I've grown, but I was bigger than she expected, so now I think I've really grown, and not just in my head!
She brought her daughter, Andalynn, and all the kids partied hard!  We ordered pizza, and they watched part of Fox and the Hound (Ethan's pick), then the girls watched a Barbie movie-sounds quiet, but they really played a lot!  Then since Mary Claire got to have a "sleepover", Ethan and Clay wanted one too!  So Clay put his sleeping bag in Ethan's floor, Ethan tried to sleep in a tub (sans maternity clothes!), and I had to put my foot down.  I moved him to the bed, where there was more room, and they all were asleep by ten.  The next morning, Clay was in Ethan's bed, and Ethan was on the floor!  I just think I can be in charge.
Angie dusted over all my kitchen cabinets (no, I didn't ask her or make her as Mom thought I did!), but I was complaining how dusty they were when we were looking down from upstairs, and she said she'd clean them!  I said no, but the next time I came in the kitchen, she was up there dusting!  She's so sweet.  I mean, who dusts your nasty spots?  And who'd let her see them?  Gross.  She worked on it for a long time!  It is so nice and clean, I almost didn't want to put any of the stuff back up there!  Just worlds different.
Then we got ourselves together and went out to shop-except we didn't have long since *S-N-O-W* was coming!!  Can you imagine, in March?  I was so sad we didn't get to spend the whole day out shopping.  Stupid snow.  When we got back, and she got ready to leave, it was sleeting!
Now we are covered in 11 inches of white snow.  It has weighted down a lot of our trees, and some pine trees are touching the ground.  Totally not what I expected as we begin spring break!
We started cleaning the attic last night-and oh my gosh, do we have a lot of stuff! (or maybe it's me?)  I have bazillions of tubs of teaching stuff (soon to go!), and about five or six boxes of files.  I have gone through one, and what work.  It's mostly trash.  I'm keeping my hanging file folders, but all insides are trash!  I've got boxes of books (more, if you can imagine)-we don't have enough room for the ones we have-a library!-so where will these go?  And the manipulatives.  Ahh, lots of money went into all that stuff, and now, no one is using them.  I had the kids put a few things in their backpacks to take to their teachers, but I have so much more-probably 15-20 tubs of stuff that has to go.  I, especially now, don't see myself teaching in the future.  I'd thought that maybe one day... but now, not really feasible.
Are you a teacher? Is there something you are needing?  We either have to put the stuff on eBay or Craig's List, give it away, or Ches wants to donate it to the church school.  I'll have to find takers.  He says it's easier to just give it away.  I guess he's right.  I really want to move it on to a new home, even though I have all these memories attached to everything.  I promise to let it go, to make room for new stuff, but I have this attachment (I know, to yucky 10-year-old stuff!).  It's the end of an era (ok, little sentimental..).
However, my daughter is finding great joy in my loss-she's now the proud owner of tons of teacher things (dry erase boards, chalk, and hall passes even!), and now she's wearing my sophomore prom dress all over the house!  I would have trashed it, but she's quite happy in that tulle and taffeta concoction!
I hope the people who get all the teacher supplies/books/manipulatives are as happy!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Whoever is with the kids is crazier (or was it funnier?)

Ok, we have got to Go There, because it's so funny, and it's part of my life!  Mom makes me laugh!! Maybe whoever is with the kids is funnier, I don't know.  She can't get the van door closed when she drops them off in the morning, so she just drives home with it open (she'll want me to insert here that it's only a few inches!)!  Ethan yells about it being cold ("but he's got his blanket!"), but she just tells him to be quiet, they'll be home in a minute!  I think today we finally figured out what is going on: she's putting the van in Drive, and that freezes the door!  Anyway, she says tomorrow they'll have *perfected* it: she'll drive away with it CLOSED! But then I'll be home for Friday's drive to school.
Today they are driving to see my Aunt Pansy who'll be in Fayetteville until 4pm, so my mom is taking Ethan to see her.  We drove down to see her and my uncle Denver last summer (see here), but we didn't take Ethan, so they've never met him!  When family doesn't live close (or when they do, but you are always busy), it's hard to visit often.  It's an opportunity!  I wish I was in town to go see her too, but I'm in Florida, land-of-a-billion-license-tags!  Seriously, there are about 200 different ones!  I've seen plain Florida with the county, plain with In God We Trust, Save the Wild Dolphins (my favorite!), the Tampa Bay Buccanneers, Protect Our Reefs, Save the Manatee, State Wildflower (not so pretty), Salutes Firefighters, Share the Road (with bikes-Ches would love to have that one at home!), Florida State University, ok-and some you just can't read the bottom unless you are at a stoplight!  We are amazed at the variety! : )  We've also started counting Canadian tags-we're up to five!  Can you believe people would drive that far?  Maybe there's a convention.  Of Canadians.  heehee
Well...bad news.  We discovered (after 5 last night) that the other game tickets we have (for the Detroit Tigers vs. the Phillies)-were for Yesterday's Game!  So sad.  We even drove by the field to make sure we knew where it was.  The crowd was roaring, and we'd heard them cheering for someone who hit a home run (rare in the pros!)!  And we had tickets all along.  $50 tickets.  Boo.  
So today, they play the Yankees, which we wanted tickets to all along, but they were sold out.  We plan to go to the game, and see if we can buy some tickets off the scalpers.  Maybe.  Maybe they won't charge us an arm and a leg.  Maybe we'll see today's game.  It just sucks that we missed it.  Ches has been telling me for weeks that we have tickets to Monday and Wednesday's games, so it never occurred to me to look at out tickets!  Ha.  That's the second time he's messed up this week, so maybe he's losing it?  Twins are pretty overwhelming.
Yes, I have more questions now!  Wanna try to answer them?  Here goes:
*How many deliveries do I get charged for? (C-section, but he'll pull out two). Only one
 epidural, one hospital room for me, but more care/ultrasounds...
*Do I get two pediatrician/hospital bills after they are born?
*If I pay for cord blood saving (for lack of a better word), and I know they charge per child,
 who's should I save if I only save one?

*Can I have them genetically matched to Mary Claire before I save one's cord blood?
*Should I save both?
*I read that there were "double boppies" for nursing twins, but I have yet to find them.  Do
 they really exist? Ps-I don't want those hard looking U-shaped things.
*How many diapers should I be buying, and what sizes exactly?  Ones, Twos are a given, but
 what about the teensy preemie/newborn ones?

Ok, obsessing 101 is over, and shall be continued tomorrow.  I do have an appointment on Monday to pay (prepay/authorize/etc) or discuss my bill.  I don't have better wording.  I also have a nurse appointment (like the last one) where she talks about my jewelry and dress, and says I've done this all before, and there are no surprises.  Uh-um.  When you are pregnant again, it's ALWAYS new.  It's never the same as last time, and there is not an un-nervous mom.  I should tell her that.  I hate to get sassy, as I might need her at 35+ weeks to be sympathetic to me.  I'll just discuss jewelry and the weather during my one hour appointment, since she won't talk babies.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Spring Training

Yesterday was the Philadelphia Phillies vs. Pittsburgh Pirates-they are in spring training, so everyday you can watch them play.  Very cool!  We were along the first baseline, but on the second row!  Everyone kept getting in front of us to get autographs.  Even into the game, when the inning would change, people would crowd right in front (I mean the players were 2-3 feet from us), and beg for autographs for their balls, gloves, bats, baseball cards, books...  It was funny watching the guys sitting right in front of us reach to give the players high-fives, and yell at all of them.  We aren't that die-hard, but there were those people! It was still fun, just watching a good game!  We had to eat lunch there since there aren't a lot of good restaurants/food places right there around the stadium.  We drove up and down the main road, but it was all car places: cars for sale, auto repair, brake repair, transmission repair, buy-here/pay-here sales-I get the idea that they sell you a junk vehicle, then charge you weekly to repair it!  Anyway, all these places closed shop just to charge you to park.  They were all waving in cars, and you could watch the parking prices climb as you got closer.  Naturally, we found the highest parking and pulled in: $8.00.  I figured since I'm pregnant, what's an extra $3 (since the cheapest was $5!)?  heehee
Then we shopped at the Bradenton Outlets, ate at Olive Garden, then saw a movie: The Green Zone.  It was pretty good.  We'd rented the Hurt Locker to watch on the plane out here, and it was very similar-what war was really like-and how they found out there were no WMD (Weapons of Mass Destruction).
Today is a free day: we are headed back up to Tampa (I think) to go to one of their four Babies-R-Us!  There are a lot of things we can't shop for (clothes, sad-face), but we can shop for a double stroller.  We were planning to go to Tulsa, but why not here!?  We can always have it shipped.  We'll have to pack up what we've bought to mail it back anyway (unless we pay the $70 to add a bag/box!).  So, shopping is on the agenda, happy day!  I bought nothing for me yesterday (don't really need anything), but we got Ches three pairs of shoes (!): two dress shoes and some cleats, a belt, and Clay some baseball pants from Nike.  There's an Under Armour outlet, but it didn't seem like they had outlet prices, so we didn't get anything there!  I mean to ship it back and not really need it right now, it'd have to be a deal!
Alrighty, the kids are still good, Ethan is missing us, but everything is surviving.  We'll be back soon enough. We need the time! : )

Monday, March 15, 2010

Palm Trees, Milk, and Coconut M&M's!

Made it to Florida, yay!  We have crappy internet, so Ches is really frustrated-he wants to work! (only small giggle, as he's serious!)  We paid for the hotel here in Tampa/Clearwater, so it's hard to leave.  I don't know how it would work...
We have tickets to a Phillies game today at one, and I think they are playing the Pittsburgh Pirates (they are-I checked!).  Ches wants to leave an hour early-you know how traffic is!  The rest of our day is open, so hopefully it'll contain ShOpPiNg!  Little for him, little for me...  He actually needs new dress shoes and a new belt, among other things.  I can shop for anyone, so it's all good for me.
Ok, I went down to the breakfast area and got some cereal to eat in the room (and got Ches some too), and I ate it in front of the computer (as it was dark and Ches was still sleeping!), (yes it's 9:30 and totally daylight, but you-know) and I spilled it on the pants I am wearing today!  Ugh.  We packed all "light" so we wouldn't have to check bags (and we ended up having to since we were on the second row, and maybe there was no more room?), so I have one more "extra" pair of pants (since I had *extra* room in my *carry-on* suitcase after I packed!!).  I guess I'll wear them since the milk stain isn't drying so pretty.  The last time I wore these (umm-over three years ago!), I must have had them dry cleaned or I washed and starched them.  They were all perfect, creased, and smooth.  Now the milk stain screwed up my crease, and it has icky lines around where it meets the clean fabric.  Gross.
It will not get me down.  I have a beautiful pool outside my window, and amazing sunshine streaming in on my desk.  Happy!  Oh, and palm trees..everywhere!
And guess what my wonderful husband found me last night?  Yep, coconut M&M's!  We went by a CVS to get him some snacks/drinks for the room (while I sat in the car, yes by choice, while a strange man loitered by our car and the CVS door creeping me out!!).  He came out with three bags of the coconut kind, peanut, and peanut butter (thanks, Mom-they are on my mind again!).  Ahh, so sweet.  Actually he was sad on the drive yesterday that I didn't have any chocolate for him, so it may not have all been heroics and chivalry.  But I'll take 'em!
Um, do you realize it's been over a year since we've flown out *alone*?  We used to go all the time (a few times a year!), but now we're all Settled Down.  Huh.  Wonder when that happened?

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Hamsters on Wheels!

Really quick, as it's already bedtime!  I just don't have time to Ever!
We are heading to Florida tomorrow, and finalizing everything.  I have the kids food chart done, notes written, lunches made for Mary Claire (Clay's having tray lunches!), got Mom's little bag made with her name (Yes, really!), and I've packed my bag, and put all my liquids into tiny (too-small) bottles so they'd fit into a quart-size Ziploc.  I even had to barge into Ches' bag!  I packed him a tiny travel-size toothpaste, so my nail polish (for touch-ups!) and lotion would fit into his bag!  (He may or may not know this yet..)  I think we are ready.  And I'll have no perfume, and have to use the soap there-ick.  The TSA just doesn't understand women need a gallon-size bag, and men can get by with the scrawny quart-size!  Who do I complain to?
I can now say we are the proud owners of Zhu-Zhu pets!  Ches went out for groceries late last night (after a tip that there were tiny hamsters in stock!), and got one.  After our trip out today, we have two more!  They are precious-and really entertaining.  Clay didn't really want one, but he got a tiny bike you "ride" with your fingers.  Yeah, I don't know either.
Anyway, Ethan had a fit, and wanted a hamster, so he got one too.  We told them these are their "Florida" presents, so they aren't to expect anything when we come back!  I think they understood, and we'll really know when we get back next week with Nothing!
I'm back to taking Protonix.  I keep having acid reflux (you know that nasty throw-up in your throat?), and it's driving me nuts!  I took two last week, then thought I was better (uh..yeah, on the medicine.), but now it's happening again.  I have a regular prescription, but I had weaned myself off when it seemed to be over.  I'm sure my relaxed system doesn't help it any.
Don't forget to set your clocks forward an hour tonight!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

What does the tooth fairy look like?

I have to say, I haven't been quite as sick. Maybe controlling lunch/afternoon snack has helped?  And pretzels taste awesome too.  Right when you put them in your mouth and the salt hits your tongue (saltiest side down!), mmm...good.  Only for now, I know.
I made taco salad last night, and the meat was frozen, so I had to thaw it in the microwave.  By the time I opened the door to the micro, it was STiNKy!  I called Ches in, since I wasn't sure if it was my sense of hyper-active smell or nasty meat.  It was definitely the meat!  We ended up using refried beans and no meat.  I just couldn't make more.  Ethan was yelling, "It smells like snakes!" (as if he knows what snakes smell like?)  Now, I'm not so hungry for meat. :P
Clay's appointment went fine yesterday, and he's staying at only 10 milligrams-the lowest dose.  I'm happy with it, and I feel we are seeing enough of a difference, so why go higher?  It was a short meeting, and I was planning for the whole hour-but it was quick!
Mary Claire had a dentist appointment today and got two teeth pulled.  AOOOOA  See the A's?  Those are the ones she had pulled.   The two teeth to the outside of her top front four.  They were beautiful, perfect teeth, but they needed to come out.  Her xrays showed that the teeth coming in were at severe angles (even I could see that), and it was due to the teeth that we had pulled.  They were baby teeth and would've come out when she was 9 or 10 anyway.  (They were much longer than I thought they'd be!)  She's getting braces in a month or two, and we are getting ready.  We still need to start her speech therapy to stop her tongue thrusting (on her front teeth, and pushing her palate up so high!).  We'll get there, and when we are done-it'll be worth it.  (Try to remind me when we get there!)
Anyway, she took it like a pro.  She wasn't nervous, and I'd prepped her beforehand.  She wanted to know honestly what they were going to do, so I told her.  I knew she could take it.  When they were giving the shots, they told her they were putting magic balloons on that would pinch and pull at her gums (Ha.).  She said she knew it was shots. I asked her if she told them, and she said no.  She just let them think she was fooled.  What a big girl!  She was a little tired when she came out, but one milkshake later, she was in a much better mood!  Now she's had dinner, and the "sockets" are all dried up, and I think she's fine.
Now there's just the tooth fairy to deal with... She wrote a note asking the tooth fairy if she could keep her teeth, and she asked what the tooth fairy looks like.  Umm..what do you say to that?  Sometimes the tooth fairy writes her notes, but what to write..?  And how much do you pay for two big, pulled teeth?  We haven't had any teeth out in a long time!  And then the money will burn a hole in her pocket till she gets to spend it.  Ahh, childhood!
I'm still doing fine.  Waking up in the night with a dry mouth, so I'm drinking at least a bottle of water in the night (yep, causing further waking!), but I have to stay hydrated.  I think it's my heat vent right over my face above my bed!  I have a love/hate relationship with it-I love the hot air, hate having my face all dried out.  Dilemma.  So, I keep drinking.  Hey..maybe that's causing my premature wrinkling!  Aha!
Seriously-what does the tooth fairy look like?

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Pretzels for Dinner

I'm sick of being sick.  I feel awful.  It is worst in the afternoons, so I better start eating more in the morning.  I'm missing dinner, Ches fed the kids-leftover pizza.  I can't even stand to smell it, much less see it.  I've taken a Protonix to work on acid reflux if that's playing a part in my nausea.  I'm enjoying a pile of pretzels for dinner.  It's the only thing that doesn't make me want to barf.  (Sorry.)  I really enjoy the part where I put them in my mouth and just enjoy the salt. : )

I'm taking this to mean that it's a healthy pregnancy, which is my utmost goal.  Think Positive, think positive.

**I'm back-what an evening!**
Ches had a coach's meeting, I gave the kids baths (after they disposed of dinner..), then Ethan ran into the bedpost in Clay's room, screamed/cried, bruised the bridge of his nose and his nose!  We put ice on it, and because his face/eyes were covered, he fell asleep, I texted Ches, he came home, we called the doctor, and there were no more appointments!  By the time the nurse called back, he was awake, fine (but still swollen), and they told us to come in tomorrow if it's not better.  We have to wake him up tonight to make sure he's okay.  I don't swear, but if I did, I swear it couldn't get any crazier.  At the same time he was sleeping on me, I was getting Mary Claire's reservoir ready to change her pump site-hard.  Mary Claire really wanted her site changed so she could have a surprise (her new book order books came in yesterday, and I hold them ransom for prizes!)!

Ok, all settled down now, and I'm exhausted.  Oh, and confessions make me sleep better: I was late to pick the kids up at school-I slept through my phone alarm when I laid down to rest!  Crazy.  Mary Claire had gymnastics at 3:30, so we had to hurry, and then I took them to Sonic for ice cream-Guilt Snack.  I couldn't apologize enough, but no one seemed alarmed.  I even called the school, and they said the kids don't come to the office till 3:30-I guess lots of parents come late?  Even crazier.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Sick of Clothes

I'm in Surreal Land.  Really.  Try having someone tell you that you have twins inside you.  Surreal.
I had another ultrasound today, and everything is fine.  We saw both hearts beating (thank you, God!), and measured their bodies.  They only measured 8 weeks and 3 days today, last time was right on.  Our doctor said not to worry about it, so I'm not.  I have other things to think about.  Like for instance, now I'm sick.  I feel all gross and nauseous like I want to throw up, but don't want to, but only want crackers or pretzels.  I want to eat, but nothing sounds good.  "I'll have a big bowl of Nothing, please."  It has been coming and going for a few days, but it's stuck with me all afternoon.  I must have finally met my threshold for hcg-and it's overtaken me.  I'm hoping I won't have too much longer of it.  I've read it only lasts till about 12 weeks, so I am just thankful to be pregnant, and thankful I haven't had it the entire time!
Maternity Clothes.  I'm at the sticky, maybe-I-should, and maybe-I-shouldn't point.  I have learned that I have a grapefruit-sized uterus (well, if it was one baby..), and it's kinda coming out over my jeans.  Nothing is super-comfy, so I'm at that sucky crossroads.  Maternity-still a little big, Regular-popping out of.  See? sucks.  What to do...Shop?  Yeah, that's what I thought too!  If I can gather some energy, I'll invest some time in looking for something in between.  Big shirts?  Long tanks?  Big shirts over leggings?  Clips to hold my big panel pants up to my bra?  Yeah, I thought it was a good idea too!  Consider it invented.

Today was SO uber stressful.  I had the doctor's appointment (so I scrapped Ethan's morning dentist appointment to the next available time-April) which was fine and always gives me peace, then I spent some time at Mom's when I picked up Ethan (thanks for lunch!!), then we came home, he fell asleep in the van, so I did what a Thinking Mom does: I left him in the van to sleep (yes, van door open, door to house open, good grief!).  I covered him up with a blankie, and laid down on the couch till my phone alarm went off to go pick up the kids at school.  Guess what?  He was still asleep in the van!  I waited for them, ran by the house for snacks, and took them to the dentist.  (I can't ever take the three of them at the same time again, it was Too Much.)  Ches had a meeting (he's been busy lately, huh?), so he came by the dentist and picked up Ethan and I was there with the kids till five.
I learned that Mary Claire is not brushing her front teeth well, but great job on the back.  The hygienist thought it was backwards of normal (me too!), but she has to improve.  We are considering a nice electric toothbrush.  She already has some cheap ones, but doesn't really get into them.  Clay was fine.  Apparently my kids crossed some line while I wasn't looking.  They didn't call me back to talk about how they were doing.  What?  Since when do they talk to the kids and not me?  I felt really out of the loop. : (  I scheduled Mary Claire's two teeth to be pulled on Thursday (yes, apparently I can make this week a bit busier!)  I'm not sure how to pull it off, but Ethan can take some toys or something.

Mary Claire is in the new gym class, and it's at 3:30 tomorrow-good luck getting us there on time!  It opens up our dinner time, but sure puts a rush on afterschool pick-up, snack, and changing clothes!
Wednesday is Clay's next psychiatry appointment-just to see how his ADHD medication is working and to see if it needs adjusting.  He likes the doctor, so it's just a fun visit.  It's during my Mother's Day Out (I like to protect it, you know!), so bummer.  Good, since Ethan is busy having fun, but bad, since I don't get that free time (yeah, I know, b-bye, free time!).  Ches will have to take Ethan since it's at 9:15, and I need to check Clay out first.  Logistics.  I had no idea how much busier it got when they got older.  Did someone try to tell me that?..
Thursday is the teeth-pulling.  Friday-might I get a free pass?  I'm still leaving town on Sunday, and between now and then I have to plan for the kids meals next week-three meals, about three snacks a day, and figure her carbs and bolus ratios.  Oh, and buy the food I plan for them to eat!  (which I should be doing tomorrow since it's grocery day...but I'll just go again on Saturday, after Clay collects his bags of food donations...)  I have planning to do, but I'm tired.  And hungry.  And my floors are so dirty.
And I learned that even an unopened bag of salad doesn't make it from Tuesday (grocery day) to Monday night.  Must plan frozen veggies for Mondays.
And I learned how to make faux dirt.  Brown cardstock smeared with Elmer's glue, sprinkled with Miracle Gro Potting Mix (yeah, good thing I didn't use it all this weekend!), and it looks semi-real!  Clay's making a shoe-box scene (what's the word for those..?) and has until the 31st, but it had to be done tonight!  So we faux'd our way through it.
Last one-Must Eat More Fiber.  Any great (no thanks on the regular) ideas?  Fiber One bars not allowed.

Sunday, March 7, 2010


What an exciting day!!  I found a surprise in my mailbox today after church!  Are you guessing?  It was those scrumptious, melt-in-your-mouth coconut M&M's!  They were like tasting Hawaii again...(maybe that's my fascination with coconut?).  Ahhh..thanks John and Christine!!  Now, if you can just tell me where you got them!! I MUST have more!  They were so good.  I shared the bare minimum with the kids, Ches gave up his offering (sweet man knows where his bread is buttered!), and I ate the rest.  I have to say, there aren't many in there.  Really.  I read that there is about .3 ounces less than a regular bag, and each one is a bit more rounded-kinda like a peanut butter M&M, so maybe there were 18?  Don't worry, they really are gone.  I just had to eat them all, then they can't haunt me in my sleep.  See?  I'm thinking!
Tomorrow is another ultrasound.  Just to make sure everything is okay.  I'm excited and nervous all over again.  I just want to know they are alright, and normal.  I should get more pictures, and get to ask my doctor all my crazy questions.  Apparently there is a higher risk of preeclampsia, but I've already had it once.  Do you ever get it again?  And I really, really want to know if there are two placentas.  If so, good news, and less to worry about.
I did NOT realize that the academy awards were on-I have to go-I can't concentrate!  Congrats to Precious for the best adapted screenplay!  I'm just tuning in..I'll have to play catch-up now! : )

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Cuckoo for Coconut!

Ok, brief rundown:
Friday: Clay-playdate, Mary Claire-devastated due to no play date, we went to Stations of the Cross at church, burritos at home!
Saturday: Ches and Clay went door to door and handed out bags (for cub scouts) for food donations (next Saturday they go back around to gather up the bags)-they didn't actually go to our neighborhood since they said the front doors are too far apart-they are bugging other neighborhoods! Mary Claire and Ethan went with me to Lowe's (sans make-up!) to get flowers-it was too nice a day to not be outside!  
Saturday night: Ches and I had a date tonight, and for one of the first times ever, we didn't see a movie!  It was nice to just have time.  We went to a million places looking at baby stuff-there was only one double stroller in all of Fayetteville, btw!-and plants, and we got some food...just plenty to do!
And Guess what I saw?? Coconut M&M's!!  I didn't buy them since I found them at Sam's, and it was a 40-package pack, and I'd eat them ALL!  I love Mounds and Almond Joy, and M&M's, and awesome they must be...  So then, at all the different stores we were looking for a single pack-they don't exist!  So watch the local vending machines-and get me one if you see them! : )
Here's a link to a review-apparently they've been out for a while-how did I exist without knowing about them?  One thing I learned: they are coconut-flavored solid chocolate, not coconut-filled.  Lowers my expectations, slightly disappointed, but would still like to try them!
Ok, after more (unnecessary) research, I've discovered I may actually prefer the Almond Joy pieces, since they actually contain coconut (and bits of almonds, but I can handle that-after all the Almond Joy I enjoyed tonight contained 2% of my daily calcium, only 49 more bars to go!)
Ok, after boring you with my candy obsession, I think I'll go obsess online over double strollers!  G'night!

Friday, March 5, 2010

Carrier of Important Things

Is it too early to wear sandals?  If it's 60 degrees (for the high), is that ok?  I'm ready.  I finally got my nails (toes) done yesterday-and I wore sandals, metallic flip flops actually, all day.  I couldn't mess my toes up, but I'm just ready.  It's been nasty ol' winter for too long now, and we have a few 59-60 degree days, I'm callin' it spring!  Mary Claire was excited to see my sandals-as it means there's Hope for our Arctic Wave.  Anyway, if you see me out, just don't look at my feet, unless you can say something nice.  Maybe I'll just skip right to summer!

Ethan may have a milk allergy.  He got up night before last, and was gagging, and trying to throw up.  He finally did-just a little bit-and it was his frozen yogurt he'd had for snack.  If he has chocolate milk or a milk not mixed with a buffer (like cereal with milk, or cheese and crackers), he gets sick.  He had icky poop a couple weeks ago when he had chocolate milk right before bed, but now this.  Yesterday-nothing. No gagging, no "tummy hurts"-nothing!  I only fed him non-dairy, but he was fine.  I don't want to take a chance, but eventually in a few days, I'll have to try dairy again to see if that's what it is.  I want to wait Just In Case this was a virus.  Poor kid-he LOVES cheese and dairy.  He eats piles of grated cheese in a bowl for a snack. (Yes, I get it pre-grated at Sam's by the two-pack!)

Mary Claire has had some really random lows lately!  She was 46 evening before last-that's really low.  She couldn't walk, but was all wobbly, and made it to tell me she felt low.  I told her to sit or lay down, and I'd be right up (she was upstairs)-and she couldn't understand me.  Ah, scary.  I ran up, checked her, and she was definitely low.  I'm just so glad she can feel it now-we used to just happen onto lows like that, if you can imagine!  Which is why we like to check her so often, even now!  Anyway, I gave her some glucose tabs (4g sugar each), and then ran down to get her some juice.  She couldn't sit to drink it, and I had to tell her to suck on the straw-she gets all fuzzy when she's low and makes no sense.  She kept at it and eventually she was fine. 
Then yesterday at school, she ran low at 11 (just 70), had 8 grams of snack, and came back at 11:20 feeling low (63 and 65 with recheck, since it seemed impossible!).  She just kept dropping.  At that point, we look at active insulin, but crazy-to eat and still go low!  She started on her lunch, and we dropped her insulin bolus for lunch (and I was so worried since she was going out for recess-yay, warm!), so I reduced her a little too much (-.3), and she was 200 at 1:30.  It's all crazy, but at least she'd come up!  She had a playdate after school, and I didn't want her to have to miss it due to her stupid blood sugar!

Clay was so funny yesterday!  He came in, and when I told him to hang up his backpack, he said he forgot to take it to school!  So, he said he didn't have his lunch, and he had to get a tray.  We got his backpack out of the car, and there was no lunch in it.  He looked at the menu, and he'd circled the food!  Guess he forgot that he was eating what he wanted?  Weird.  I do remember running out with his library book (Book the Eighth, Lemony Snicket), and he held it in his hand.  I guess he had the Important Thing, so he forgot the big Carrier of Important Things!

Ok, today is the next grocery trip.  By yesterday we had quite a list, but Ethan was in a "No Wal-Mart!" mood, so it didn't happen!  I try to go along with him, because if he doesn't want to go, he'll make it really bad for you.  Who says you don't learn new tricks when you're old?  The other thing I've learned: I let him buy one thing (grocery) that's junky or whatever, then he's really happy.  Last time it was yogurt-covered raisins!  And they were really good!  I'd never had them, not really liking raisins, or things covered in yogurt (when you can get them covered in chocolate? No way!), but they were good!  And since they had a couple grams of fiber, I said yes!  They are since gone, but alas, we'll try something new today.  He likes to troll the shelves at about 3.5 feet: cart height.  Don't think for a minute that grocery planners don't plan this!

Say your prayers, and be thankful for what you have (low blood sugars, throw up, forgotten backpacks), sometimes it's more than others have.  I'm still thankful for each day I make it a little farther.  My friend isn't having a baby with me, and it breaks my heart.  What to do alone?  I don't know anyone else pregnant, and I hope she doesn't lose her faith and perseverance.  She still has months to be pregnant with me-and I can't wait for her to try again-really.  I'd almost help if I could.  Well, I'll teach her about her cycle, and my new trick-ovulation predictor kits!  I even have a whole extra set, test included! Did I tell you that story?  She is going to be gifted with it when she's ready.  Anyway, pray for those that are great moms and just want to share their life and body again.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Sew Excited!

I've discovered Wheaties Fuel cereal! It's great!  Ok, ok, I'm a little biased at this point.  It has five grams of fiber in 3/4 cup, so it's got my attention! heehee  It is really good-and I hate Wheaties.  It is flakes and Rice Krispy-looking things, and a tiny bit of granola-all in a honey and cinnamon light glaze.  Very good.  I honestly cannot usually finish my bowl-I think it sends subliminal messages to my brain that I'm full-it's either all the vitamins or the fiber.  Both are great, so I'm good.  Today, I poured a small amount of my fave Cheerios, and added a tiny bit of Fuel on top-couldn't eat it all, seriously.  Try it!  It's at Pleasant Grove Wal-Mart if you live near here. : )

I am so excited-I bought a new purse yesterday!  I'm sure you remember the search has been going on since January... I finally found one I really like, and I committed (myself! haha)!  It was not on Dooney's website, so it totally went under my search radar.  I went into a local store, and saw it!  It is white, for spring/summer only, but I'm okay with that-I'll have to upgrade to a diaper bag soon enough.  AND, I'd just found a white wallet on the website Monday morning, that was half price!  Score!  So I came home and ordered it, so sorry to the sweet salesperson who didn't get the add-on wallet sale. : (
Anyway, now I'm getting ready to sew...I know makes sense to no one but me, but when I get a new purse, I need all new stuff to go inside to keep it organized.  I bought new "decor bond" which is a liner that keeps the fabric stiff, zippers, some brown toile fabric, and I'll mix it with pink floral or something for spring.  My old ones are getting gross-looking, so It's Time.  And I'm feeling creative, and have a bit of time.

Today is lunch with Mom and her friends, and I'll probably out my news.  She's probably already told them anyway?  We are going to an new-ish dive (totally my words) in Bentonville that has amazing chicken (yes, fried, but good!) so I told her I'd join them.  I have to get a small nap between now and then, if possible, since I need to pick up Mary Claire at school and take her to girl scouts.

Last night was gymnastics, and Mary Claire is FINALLY moving up to the next level!! YAY! and I can't believe it took this long!  Anyway, it was very exciting for her, and we moved her to a new class time, so things-are-changing.  Clay had boy scouts, and then Mary Claire had a doctor's appointment.  She has a mild ear infection in her left ear, and called home again yesterday (second Tuesday in a row, so I was beginning to wonder what the coincidence was..).  She'll be fine, but I hope we are all headed into warmer weather, fewer colds, and flip-flops!! I can't wait.

Oh, I really have to go (to sew!), but I have to mention..I bought my first (well, this time) pair of maternity jeans.  My little low-rise skinny jeans were just not cutting it (just cutting in to my bladder..), and I was running out of leggings.  The girl was so sweet and helpful, and she talked me into a new blue shirt-designed my Heidi Klum, and I'm convinced one day I may look like her in it!  Ha.  It was comfy and swirly, so I agreed.  It looked like it would hold a couple kids in there with me, so what the heck.

Alright, keep up your precious prayers!  Good for your soul, and other's lives! : )

Monday, March 1, 2010

Pee in a Cup

Wanna be grossed out?  I could probably tell you something new everyday, but here's today's grossest moment (be patient, I have to tell you the back story):
Ethan has started this nasty habit.  When he's in the bathtub, he's too lazy to get out and go peepee, so he pees in a cup, and sets it on the side.  I didn't know he'd started this habit until last night.  I came into the bathroom, and there on the side of the tub was the cup I used to rinse his hair-with pee in it.  I asked what on earth happened, and Mary Claire piped up, since they were taking a bath together.  She said he peed in it, matter-of-factly.  I grossed out, poured it in the toilet, and went to ask Ches if he'd heard of this before.  He said Yes!  Ugh.  It gets grosser.  So today, while I was resting on the bed (a faux-nap, if you will), he told me he had to go peepee, and he needed the cup.  I was yelling no cup, use the toilet!! and I heard pouring into the toilet, then the cup falling on the bathroom floor.  :Oh my gosh.  I jumped up (nap over), and ran in there.  He'd peed in the cup, I just dishwashed last night, and poured it into the toilet (and flushed, yay, him)!  Ok, that's just nasty!  Don't worry, if you come over, the cup lives in my bathroom for only washing hair.  But, alas, it will be in the dishwasher again, with all the other cups we drink out from.  Thank you, God, for the new dishwasher with the sanitize mode!  See? You just think your life is crazy!

So other than that, we grocery shopped (and got me more fiber), did laundry, and washed all the sheets and changed bedding today (yes, it likely wore me out).  Then I cuddled Ethan up with his *clean* blankie, and headed to my room for a nap.  It only lasted till he was ready for a bath (see earlier story) about 2:30.

Now the kids are home, we've snacked, gone through Monday folders, and I'm fending off begging to have green eggs and ham tomorrow for lunch at school.  Mary Claire really wants a tray lunch, and she never gets a tray (imagine it in a whiny voice for more realism).  The lunch is green eggs, ham, waffle sticks, and Dr. Seuss' birthday cake (which I suspect is the real excitement).  Um? Gross.  Maybe I'll send a couple girl scout cookies in her lunchbox, and call it good.  Tomorrow is my Mother's Day Out, and somehow I don't picture me eating green eggs and ham and skipping grocery shopping...again.  (Today was only fiber, fruit, cereals, and whole grain crackers, tomorrow is the Real Deal.)

Since I didn't do any real meal planning for the week (that happens when my brain frees up on Tuesday mornings), we are having quesadillas.  I can do these with my eyes shut, so easy-peasy.  Some tortillas, cheese, black beans, salsa, and fruit.  See? Easy.  Ches is working all day every day this week (well, maybe not Friday..), so it's gotta be easy.  He has a student taking their comps every morning at 9, so it's all business.  (heehee)  It only impacts my life after 3:30pm, so I think we'll be fine.

Our morning routine went absolutely terribly this morning, so we (that means *I*) have got to do something to make it better.  I woke the kids up and rallied the troops, but it was just so yucky: whining, not obeying (like Clay telling me he took all his dirty clothes to the laundry room, me discovering his door locked, locating a key, and then finding his room a mess with clothes all over the floor!), not getting shoes on (preferring to play trains), complete lack of focus (having 25 lbs of books in a backpack and not being able to decide which to ditch-at 7:45!).  Chaos.  And Ches was in the bathroom brushing his teeth, oblivious to our chaos that I'd very much like him to be a part of!  He wakes up in time to take the kids to school, but he has to help-especially on the road to five.

Alrighty, keep praying, and I must go season-like-crazy my black beans so they taste like Chili's black beans-our favorites! : )