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Where to start...
We did have a wonderful three-day weekend with the kids-we had some eating out, some crazy running around the house-inside and out-every day, Isabella's birthday party (and I got to catch up with Tiffany-due in February with her fourth adorable baby!), church, Mary Claire had BSI with her friend, and today we got to play with Veronica and her precious babies! (well, they are four and almost two, but so cute-they are little, so they are still babes to me-like Ethan).
We had Mary Claire's endocrinology appointment-and we didn't go to Little Rock! We switched a few months ago to an endocrinologist in Northwest Arkansas, and today was our first appointment back with him (it's been two years since we've seen him!). He's not a pediatric endocrinologist, but he is close to us, and Mary Claire is older now. We went over her health, her sites, a new lancet (but it was by One Touch, and we aren't switching till they have one that only requires .3 microLiters. In my opinion, .5 to .6mL is just too much blood!!) (and their strips are not consistent-it takes almost two strips-and sometimes six or seven-to get one blood sugar reading-you get errors, too little blood, etc.) (I've been doing this for 6 3/4 years-I know what I'm doing-and One Touch still sucks.) Gosh, back on track.. then we talked about his kids, and his adoption a couple years ago, right before we went back to Little Rock.
He adopted two adorable little girls (sisters), and they are thriving. We veered into adoption, foster care, friends and people he knows caring for kids of Northwest Arkansas. He encouraged us to get trained on caring for foster children, and we could offer to take in kids with diabetes, since we are so familiar, and definitely not scared. It is a lot to consider, but Mary Claire is praying for a sweet girl just like her, and we don't know how God intends to answer her prayer. We are open.
We know a little girl who struggles with her diabetes, and her family loves her, but it's tough, and she's been in the hospital, and I just think, we could take care of her. I don't want to ask her dad to give her up, ..BUT. There are other kids just like her, and after repeated poor care, they are removed from their homes. There is usually no one equipped to care for them! Can you imagine adjusting to care of a new child plus a new disease? It'd only be one for us.
Anyway, then we had to go to the lab to get Mary Claire's blood drawn. She was not prepared for it, and she cried. Two years is a big difference. Two years ago, she got her blood work done-I thought she'd be petrified, but she watched them draw the blood!! Today, she was low right before we went to the lab, and just cried. I felt so bad for her, but it was something I couldn't do for her. I had brought four tiny cookies (Nestle's Minis), two for each of us after the appointment (so she'd have good blood sugar while we were there!), and I told her she could have one of mine too after the labwork. (Big Girl Momma giving up a cookie..only for my baby! heehee) She still cried, and said she just wanted to go home. (Broke. My. Heart.) She made it through, and I actually watched the blood draw-it was much less scary/creepy than I thought it would be-no messy squirting, leaking out, etc. Then she had to give a urine sample, and it made her cry too. What a hard life for an eight-year-old. One arm was broken and in a sling, and the other had a band-aid and cotton ball taped across it. Both were sore, so I helped her use the cup and go to the bathroom. Stressful Day for her. Glad she is safe and warm in bed now.
On the adoption front..
This weekend we also requested information from Bethany Christian Services (local adoption agency). Just this evening, I filled out the preliminary form. If they liked what I wrote (and my info?), they'll send me the Bethany Statement of Faith, and the Personal Statement of Faith (I guess they are different?), then if they like those, they'll tell us when and where their next adoption informational meeting is. (it's top-secret, undisclosed to outsiders!) I'll keep you posted. We are praying for God's hand to be on it if His will is there.
I didn't submit the Waiting Child application to Great Wall of China from last week, since they all ask if you've applied with anyone else, when, and the results. I don't think they'll consider us if we are already working with another agency, understandably.
Oh! I totally forgot to tell you-I called Great Wall of China on Friday afternoon, and we had a misunderstanding over email before. Ches is not too old to apply for a healthy infant from China! It will still be a 54-month wait, but we can proceed. We are debating on local vs. international adoption, and we'll see how it pans out. We could really do both-since it'd be so far apart in time! :)
Ches went back to the dermatologist today, and got some things burned off his head. They are only pre-cancerous, so not to worry. They are hurting him, but we are so glad he's keeping up with them. Wear Sunblock, young people!! (well, you old people should too. :)
Most Honest Quote This Weekend:
"I didn't break it this time."
Ethan to me after he slid down the stair rail with his huge fluffy dragon costume in his hand, raking off all the stuff in its way-a tall box with lock, bird cage, wicker balls, a glass lamp, and my angel on a stand-the one he broke the wing off yesterday doing the same thing. I fixed it last night (using super glue and masking tape to hold it together overnight).
Extra Information:
I still have some Christmas garland and lights up. I make green tea every day (and drink a quart a day!). I love skinny cheetos (and throw away the fat ones-somehow, in my mind they have less cheese per square inch of surface area). We are considering building again. Mary Claire's A1c (three-month blood sugar) was 7.6-higher than I like, but okay. It lets us know how much damage her blood sugar is doing to her body (blood vessels), and what her average is overall.
Well, good news, I think. I heard from Dr. McGann's nurse (remember Mean Doctor?), and my bloodwork (all of it) came back normal. So..that just means that it's me/my eggs? I can't decide whether it's good or bad. If there was something wrong, I could fix it. As it is, we just have to try-and see what happens. Feels so out-of-control. I know-it's all about surrendering control. I'm not so good at that!
I'm exhausted. Genevieve likes to get up at 5:45am. I get lots done-I weeded the front flower beds this morning, started laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, made Ethan's lunch-very productive, but it makes for a LONG day! I'm in bed already-and it's 8:45! I don't know if I'll sleep soon, since Ethan is throwing a fit. He wants his daddy since I told him to go to bed (for the fourth time), he didn't have a nap today, and is cranky! Mary Claire came down to tattle on him for coming in her room, then when I got up there, he tattled that she was playing DSi! What are siblings for? Ahh, the love.
We looked at a house this weekend, and I really liked it. The last thing I need is to move (and sell this house!), but I liked it. It was open, but not like this one. It was a little smaller, which I kinda liked. It's no fun to clean houses, and no one can clean it to make me happy, so maybe I need less. The yard was smaller, which could be a good thing-we have almost an acre-and we've landscaped the heck out of it! There's so much upkeep. And then there's the pool..which I'd totally do again, so I can't complain! I guess this latest thing with my rude neighbor has me thinking. There are lots of them that aren't so nice-since I came after them I guess?-and I don't like it. I've only been here 5 years in August, and that's so new. Ha. It's just not what I thought it'd be. I do like my house, but there are things I'd change. Man, I wish I'd been blogging back then-there'd have been SO much to tell! I'll just let it slide now. : ) Decisions, decisions.
Oh! I got one more bill-the anesthesiologist! I think it was 400-something. I'll have to tally them all up, just for fun. I just can't believe it! And can you imagine-we still have my labwork (apparently 11 tests!) from Little Rock, and Ches' hospital bill-can't wait for that one! Even with Mary Claire's diabetes we haven't been able to claim our medical expenses for the past 3 years. Maybe we'll make it this year?! Not that that is something to get excited about.. but it's the little things.
Mean Doctor said I'd have decisions to make if my blood work was normal, so here goes. When to try again? (Obviously Ches has to be better!) If it goes well, when can I relax and trust that it'll make it? When can I share the news? If it doesn't go well, then what? I can't keep doing this, and some days I think I could quit now. I think it's partially the medicine since it dulls my feelings (good, but bad). It seems surreal that I was ever pregnant, so thinking about being pregnant is weird. (I know-just that is weird.) So, my only plan is to just see what happens.
I keep thinking God will decide for us, and maybe He is. I like those really clear-cut answers, and this just isn't one of them. Life just seems so valuable, so I have to believe it's His desire for us to welcome life. It just may not be the right time. or for us.
Today I'm thankful that I wasn't more attached to the babies, or that I hadn't prepared even more (clothes and room ready). I'm thankful for my sweet friends-especially the ones with time to talk! heehee I'm thankful for my mom that listens to me ramble late at night. I'm thankful for my kids that give sweet hugs and run to see me when they get home. I'm thankful for a sleeping dog that didn't make a sound tonight in her pet taxi during all the bedtime crying, running in and out, etc. She's a good sleeper! Thank you, God, for the blessings you've given us, and for those that you don't allow-I know it's for good reason.
The Jones family is safely home, Yay! : ) It seemed like a longish drive (more than the actual 6 hours since we kept stopping to eat). There was laundry, well, still is. And the getting back in the routine! I made dinner, the kids had baths, we laid out clothes, and packed lunches. I was so glad they had school-we all needed some change and routine! They got to see their friends, and Ethan was even excited-he wasn't clingy when I dropped him off-and that always makes me have a great day!
I went back for lab work, again. It was good. My hcg was at 183, which seems good. I will get a progesterone update tomorrow, and more lab work on Thursday. I guess I'm braver than I ever thought I'd be. I have gotten so many holes poked in me-I used to hate it, but I don't even fear it for hours in advance like I used to: Progress, I guess. I'm really tired, but not complaining, for I heed my own advice! : ) heehee I'm just going to bed early.
Clay is getting in with his doctor tomorrow to get his medicine prescribed. They called today with a cancellation, so we'll fit it in somehow. I'm kind of excited. I'd love for him to maintain focus and increase his self-esteem. He's pretty proud of himself, but he can get really down on himself easily. We'll see how the next week goes. Apparently it can require adjusting, so we may go/call frequently till we get it nailed down. I would love to see him utilize all that crazy knowledge he has!
Well, my dishwasher is really broken. It wasn't working before we left, but we weren't sure if we'd just overloaded it, or if the dishes were really dirty (even though I prewash/rinse them). There were little brown things on the tops of some of them. So, I ran it again, opening it halfway through the cycle. I poured fresh water on them, closed it, and opened it later, to see more yucky things. It was like the water (wash cycle, maybe?) wasn't running, but the heating/drying cycles were. Weird. So, when we got home we had the dishwasher dishes plus the ones waiting in the sink (cause that's how we operate). So, they allll had to be washed. : ( Tonight I washed all of today's plus dinner dishes. It took a long time! I take that workhorse for granted sometimes! I will appreciate it more when it's working. I can't decide if I need a service person to repair it, a plumber to check it, or a new one...I'd really like the double dishwashers, but I think you have to have the cabinets changed. Not happening. I can dream, but not really practical. Anyway, I am willing to wash, but I paid a putter-awayer today. Only fifty cents, but I'd better get it fixed!
Next Tuesday night we have too much to do. Clay has a boy scout meeting, Mary Claire has gymnastics (which I'm not happy with-she can do her bridge and cartwheel, and has yet to be moved up!), she has a school musical, and her first confession (Reconciliation Service). I am not sure how it's all going to play out, but we'll make an effort. She opted not to have a speaking part (she LOVES to sing, but not in front of people, go figure), so I'm ranking it pretty low. Reconciliation is first, since she has to go to make her first communion. She could probably arrange to go another time, but I'd like her to be with her class. The priest will be prepared to hear young kids, and hopefully patient. It takes some of them a really long time to name all the sins they can remember from their whole life! Boy scouts may get bumped-it's three times a month now, and it's a lot. He never misses, so we'll see how it plays out. If (Big IF) Ethan gets a nap, I could take him with me to take Mary Claire... ahhh, just planning it is a lot!
My friend, Sandra, had her baby! It is a girl, Rose Eileen, and she is beautiful and just perfect! I went up there today, because I just couldn't wait. I always say it, but they are sooo tiny, and for such a short time. Her sisters came up there when I was getting ready to leave, and they were so sweet. They loved holding her hands (which seem sooo tiny too!), and I think they were happy it was a girl. I know they would've been happy with either, but it was precious to see the three of them. I think when you have all the same sex kids, they are close. They usually have similar interests, and understand each other. And Emily has had a baby sister before, so she knows what to expect. : )
Clay was soo small (17 months) when Mary Claire was born, that I don't think he remembers much. They both remember Ethan, but they were older. They both adore him, even now, so it was fun for them. I think babies are a gift you give your family. Fun, sweet memories, even despite all the not-so-fun times. It's just work, and you create the happiness. They remember even the smallest things! I think if you asked the kids what their favorite thing was from our trip to Dallas, they'd probably say the swimming every night! (well, and the all-you-can-eat-breakfast!)
