Showing posts with label Guilt. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Guilt. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Rudolph and the new License Picture

Procrastination is kicking my butt again. I work well under pressure, but not this much. I waited to get my new driver's license till it's almost too late (10 days or so?), and now I have a cold/allergies that have erupted, and my nose looks like Rudolph's! : P What now?

And. I have an appointment to get the oil changed in my van tomorrow at 9am, and Clay has his ENT recheck/post-surgery appointment at 9:20, and I SO can't be in two places at once. I put off rescheduling his appt (mainly because I hadn't a clue when it was), and my van is yelling at me that I'm over (now 61 miles past my 0% oil life left) (like oil dies). I'm trying to be calm and handle it all. Really. But now I'm sick. I can dodge the balls really well when I'm on top of my game, but now I'm getting hit with the panda heads and shoes (you just have to play Wii to get it).

Anyway, I'm hoping a solution will materialize by morning. A miracle, if you will. Virawan and little Natalie came for a visit this morning and we totally talked about miracles vs. luck. I believe in miracles. I guess faith is choosing to believe in miracles. And I believe a solution will present itself really soon (maybe before I hit the pillow in the next 20 minutes?). Miracles are all around us, and God blesses us with them daily. The more amazed we are at His goodness, the more He throws at us (unlike panda heads).

I have another list, but it just made it into file 13. I'm tired, and need some rest. I'm not sleeping so well right now. Night time is hard (last night it was guilt over changing MC's pump site), and today I couldn't nap for illness (difficulty breathing) and that ringing invention. Handy, but unhandy.

I saw Sunshine Cleaning was out on DVD, and it's supposed to be really good (never made it here on the big screen). Let me know if you like it! : ) I'm planning to get it at Redbox in the next week (when I feel like I can stay up two hours to watch it!)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Guilt and Kids go together like pb and j

Does the guilt ever stop? I have guilt if I pick out the kids' clothes, if I don't, if I brush their teeth, if I let them do it alone. It goes on and on. Today I was crazy busy getting the kids ready to go back to their first day of school! I got them up earlier than last year, but thinking I had all the time in the world, I took too long upstairs. We were behind, and it got so rushed. I hate them leaving like that. We did get to pray for them and their teachers on the way to school, but it still felt like we could've done better. I think it's partly since Ches had to go into work early, and with the kids needing help, I looked gross. I really would have liked to have gone into the school to take pictures, but I just couldn't. Ethan cried, "School!" and really wanted to go inside. ..Anyway, my real point was that I had guilt I didn't go in with the kids, ugly or not. They'll only got to second and third grade once. God willing.

Both kids are now in the "green" hall, and therefore Big Kids. I can't pick them up in the front anymore. It's a whole new ball of wax on the west side of the school. There are two lines (crazy) for one lane of traffic. There are two outside doors along the same side of the road, and the parents do this crazy (I told you) braiding/driving thing where they wait in two lines (and you have to be psychic to know this if it's your first year) and the older (4th and 5th grade) kids get picked up from the first door (right lane closest to the sidewalk), then the younger big kids (2nd and 3rd) get picked up at the second door, so the 2/3 parents wait patiently over in the left lane next to the teachers' cars, and when a 4/5 parent pulls away from the sidewalk toward the left (in front of the 2/3 parent), then the 2/3 parent pulls all the way right to the sidewalk to get close to the 2/3 door. It is the craziest thing I've ever heard of. They do this trade-off/braiding of traffic that isn't orchestrated by anything other than politeness as sometimes it's two or three cars at a time, and I can't help but wonder: has anyone ever crashed (2/3 parent pulling across traffic to the right, 4/5 parent pulling across traffic to the left)? Seriously?

PG Update:
It finally hit me today. Tonight more precisely. I am exhausted-and can't stop. I feel this need to do all I can before I get huge (I always do). I have cleaned up my summer shoes in my closet, cleared out two stacks of magazines (the side effect of getting so many subscriptions!). I started cleaning off my dresser, took out five shoe boxes (yes, I really like shoes, and I keep thinking the kids will have to bring a shoe box to school for a project...), a bag of trash, cleaned my nightstand, and I'm only getting started. I hate clutter, yet it resides with me. How do you get it to move out?

So, what stopped my delirium was the book I ran across in my cleaning frenzy: Kids' Rooms. I bought it months ago-maybe last year?-when it caught my eye at Lowe's. It's so fun and colorful, and inspiring. I love color (like you didn't know that), and it's full! So...then my mind started racing again: a room, a name.. I have to do some planning.

I'm all cuddled up in bed (my earliest night in a few weeks!) with my laptop and my (fairly) new book. Names can wait...rooms are so much more fun! There are so many decisions to make..where to put the sweet angel, what will it be and where will she/he fit in... Ches asked if we should start an addition, but I think seriously not. We'll be fine for a couple years, and we'll figure it out just fine. I hate to deal with workers (even when they are sweet). I have just had all the painters here in the spring, and the dust is still settling: we found paint dust in our air conditioning filters! (We have the nice thick wire ones that you wash and the attract the dust (allergens?) by electrostatic, and Ches took them down to do the washing (don't even get me started), and they were covered. Gross. Now I'm regretting the day I turned the a/c on to cool the house/workers/Ethan napping, and it sucked the plastic down... for more reasons than one.

I shall have to locate a baby book soon. I've lost my What to Expect When You're Expecting book (and I even bought a second one last go 'round since I loaned out my first copy). Kendra said she knows where hers is, so she's going to loan it to me. I have forgotten so much. I had a headache today, and I took some Tylenol-one of the only things I remember you can have except for Tums. And I'm trying to be good. Let's see how long it lasts