Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Diabetes Diagnosis, Take Two

Do you ever feel (as a mom..or even just a human on Earth) that it's just an accomplishment that you made it through your day?  There are a lot of things that get laid at our feet that we just don't think we'll survive to tell about..but yet we do.

Today was another of those days.  I don't have the words or the eloquence to do it justice, and it's not just my story.  But it is mine also.  Clay was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes today too.  : (  And yes, we are surviving.

It began so simply after I picked the kids up from school.  After I'd spent all afternoon delivering team shirts for Mary Claire's 2013 Walk to Cure Type 1 Diabetes team.  He told me he'd been going to bathroom a lot.  And not number 2. haha.  (My wheels were already spinning.)  He said he was thirsty a lot too, and water tasted sweet.  He told me he had an accident while he was sleeping last night.  And what do we all do when our non-D kids pee a lot?  Check them.

He resisted.  He hates needles. (who doesn't?)  He gave me grief, and I asked if he was scared of the needle poke or scared of what the number might be and what it might mean.  He said both.

He asked if we could wait until we got home.  I told him we HAD to check now.  If he was high, we needed to go to the doctor right away.  He let me check him, squirmy and all.  He was 562. : (

I boohoo'd like a baby, and hugged him for so very long and told him how sorry I was.  Over and over.  And over again.  Mary Claire looked at me, and I whispered high, and she cried.  Carter cried.  It was a big ol' pity party.  We deserve to have one now and then, and this was the right time for us.

I texted our endocrinologist and told him Clay was 562, and we needed to come in.  When he didn't answer in two minutes (like he has doesn't have patients!), I called the office.  It was after four and getting late. (Office Hours Late)  They told us to come on in.  Small bit of relief that we had an "in", and that we'd done this before.

Clay told me he was really thirsty, so we stopped to get drinks.  Mary Claire kept telling me she had to call Alyssa since they were supposed to be working on a project together, like now.  She called her and couldn't really talk.  I got the phone, tried to tell her what was going on, and lost it again.  She got off the phone, and her mom called back. : )  She said she'd meet us at the doctor's office and watch the other kids.  Sweet providence.

I just said okay.  I couldn't say anything else.  I didn't have words.  Or the time. Or the brainpower.  I was in a fog.  And I had to be careful since Clay was sitting next to me.  Like, I couldn't lose it again, you know?

We got back on the highway, and made it up there pretty quickly.  Jana and the girls were already there.  Bless their hearts.  I could just say thank you.  We got all the paperwork filled out (for a new patient!), had to talk to the admitting department (it's a part of the hospital, technically), and then we waited to be called back.

The sweet nurse, said it hadn't been long since he'd seen me, but now a different child?!  Yeah, my thoughts too.  We did the weigh-in, height, pulse, etc.  Then the a1c check.  Of course, it was a ten.  That made it a sure thing. : (  More sadness.

So, it's pretty likely that he's had it for maybe two months.  I just remember the hand-foot-mouth disease (Coxsackie) virus he had the first week of school.  August 20 he missed school.  Oh good that when his body started attacking itself?

So, long story longer..we got retrained, new insulins, new meters, new food to insulin ratio.  Whole new child, whole new set of rules.  

I'm breathing more normally now.  He was 90 at about nine pm.  Not bad.  Doesn't mean my job is done, or I will sleep easily tonight.  He still has small amounts of ketones.  He still has a long night and a few longer days in front of him.  Learning to check his blood and give shots.  He is not excited. (that's an understatement actually)  He has checked himself once and given one of his shots.  We'll get there.

So, if you see him, reassure him.  This is a game-changer for him, and he just wants to know why.  The question we all want answered.

So.. the big Walk is this weekend.  What do I do for HiM?  Do I Sharpie marker his name on her shirts too?
How they looked on the proof.

How they really look : )  Neon pink.  Camera doesn't capture it.
Do I just write "Clay and" over the top left corner?  How do I make him feel included?  I already told him the shirts next year won't be pink.  They can be blue.  BOY blue.  I actually think I got a smile.

I'm exhausted so I better sleep.  I have to meet the pool company at the house in the morning, deliver the pool tile, and stay on top of blood sugars.  For two.

Send some prayers our way, please.  For good to come of this.  For our family to continue to look up and be faith-filled.  For patience in the rocky beginning.  For emotional stability (for all of us).  For no one else to get it.  For Clay's health.

Praying your house is healthy and D-free.  If it's not, I pray that no one else gets it.  That gross club no one wants to join.   
Welcome, baby boy.


Jen Snow said...

Oh, Holly!! No words. I am SO sorry. I know this is a hard for everyone. Thankful our God is a big one. I'll be praying for your family!

Hallie Addington said...

Oh my sweet friend.... I am so sorry. There are no other words. You will rock this. I know you will. But right now I send you hugs and prayers. And lots and lots of love.
What about buttons that you could wear for Clay? A way to add him to the team... Or hats? Love you, friend. Hang in there.

Meri said...

Holly, I cried big crocodile tears this morning reading this. I know the pain in your heart right now, and I wish I could save you from it. But it's part of the process, and one day you will look back and know that you feel better. Soon you're son's resilience will shine, and you will see what a rockstar you are at worrying for two.

I've said a prayer, and will continue to do so on your families behalf. Sending all my love and understanding your way. I'm here for any reason, any time.

You can do this!
You will do this!
You ARE doing this!
Your fierce love for your children is all you need to succeed!
Forward, wonderful friend!

Stacy said...

Oh Holly I'm so sorry that your family is facing this. God is bigger and He will get you through this storm. Praying for you and your family.

Misty said...

I am so sorry to hear this! I am thankful that he recognized the symptoms and told you about them so you all could start treatment sooner. I will be praying for you and your family!
You CAN do this <3
Love and prayers....

Joanne said...

I am so so sorry to read this. While I'm glad he's now getting the insulin that he needs to help him feel better, I hate that your family has to go thought this... Again.

I hope you can find some way to make him feel included and that you have a wonderful walk. Sending you HUGS.

Anonymous said...

Oh Holly! There are no words. All my can do this!
~Sherry, T1 adult and mother of a special needs child too.

Lora said...

My heart is breaking. I am sending lots of prayers for you guys... I can only imagine how emotional this walk will be, but You guys are going to rock this... I just know it. Maybe you can make big signs on sticks for him. Something that says "I was dx'd (insert number) days ago and I'm already kicking d butt!!" Or maybe something better than that.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Holly....I'm so sorry to hear this. Just so...heartbroken.
We did our JDRF walk last months! We'll be cheering for you and your family tomorrow for your walk day! Emily and Junko

Holly said...

Oh my, thank you sooo much for all your precious words, they are priceless! and prayers-we are leaning on them right now.
I'm so thankful you guys listened, we made stickers, got balloons, and he doesn't really want to go up on stage tomorrow, so we might seriously ROCK it next year for HiM!! We've already agreed to BLUE shirts. ; )
And emotional? Yes, ma'am. I am pulling out the big guns for tomorrow: waterproof mascara. ; ) If you see me looking like a mess, just ignore it!
And do you guys just LOVE your t1d family? I LOVE Them!!! I'm excited to walk and see them tomorrow. woohoo, makes it worth it. ; ) hugs, ladies and thank you for cheering me up. :o)

Anonymous said...

Am so sorry to read this. I developed Type 1 after hand foot & mouth as an adult & have always thought that was the trigger.
As you know life will be a bit different BUT will get back to a new normality soon. Take care xx