Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Real Friends

I feel mortal today.  I have several things on my mind as I crawl into bed, ready to go to sleep.  My good friend has breast cancer, and I'm so sad for her.  It's stage one, and I know she'll fight it, overcome, and come out the other side a victor, but I'm still sad for her.  As you get older, you learn that you aren't invincible.  I used to think I was.  It's almost like you have to lose someone or stare death and pain in the eye to believe it.  I felt bad that she had to ask me how I was doing (mentally/emotionally) before she told me.  Am I still on the edge?  Honestly, a little.  I don't really mind being honest with people.  Sometimes when you share the truth, the relationship becomes more real (genuine), and I like that.  Who needs surface-level friends?
I also found out yesterday a friend from years ago (elementary/jr. high) lost her sister 14 years ago-bless her heart.  I didn't even know, and felt bad that I didn't know all this time.  It must have been so hard-all those milestones that you wanted someone to share with you.  I told her that I think her sister IS getting to watch her kids grow up, and is sharing those moments.  I know that how you feel about Heaven is individual, but I believe that we still can talk to the people we've lost, they hear us, and they can pray for us.  After all, they are right at Jesus' feet.  How much closer could you get?
I know I've already told you of my XM Love, but I'm still listening...I heard an old Oprah show today (I think it was a 2002 rebroadcast), and it was about being genuine.  Girls were afraid to say what they think, for Fear.  Fear of losing that friend, Fear of being alone, Fear of being excluded, and what happened is that they never really had close friends, and that risk cost them Real Friends.  They just had fear-isn't that sad?  It started in childhood for most of the girls, but was still affecting them years later.  Oprah asked how many real friends you get in life.  What a thought.  How many do you get?
I hope I can teach Mary Claire to be a good friend, and that sometimes that means saying what you think.  Maybe if we start young, they'll build a solid foundation.  
I don't think I've gotten to tell you that Mary Claire got braces on Tuesday, gosh was that just yesterday?  We got her lots of yogurts, since her teeth were going to be sore.  And, let me tell you-it's harder than I thought!  Today she's been in pain, and whiny-I'm working extra hard on patience.  I've given her Tylenol and ibuprofen, fed her soft foods, dug food out of her palate expander in the roof of her mouth, and brushed her teeth with her new electric tooth brush.  I really don't mind the work, but the crying when food gets caught, and not wanting to eat-those bother me.  I feel sorry for her, don't know how to make it better, and it stresses me.  I need extra doses of patience.  I love her and don't want her to hurt.  It's so hard to be a parent.
My friend has an appointment with her surgeon tomorrow, please pray for her


Tamara Hart Heiner said...

It's always hard when our mortality comes up and hits us in the face. We feel so good, so healthy, so full of life--and then something happens that makes us realize how very vulnerable we are. Good luck to your friends!

Holly said...

You are so right, Tamara. I like the invincible feeling, but it's SO not real! I'm seeing it in my face. : ) Thanks-I can't wait to find out what the surgeon says!