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Is any day easy?
Ethan has been in a rebel-mood. He has rebelled from his big boy bed, and we've all shed some tears. He began Thursday or Friday screaming that his room was "scary", and when asked, finally pointed to the curtains, then the blinds, then the neighbor's house (like I can change the Party House). It's scary to all of us (especially on Saturday night with the flood lights and music blaring). So, unchangable things not withstanding, we rallied on. We added a lamp on at night (with new 15 watt bulbs from Lowe's-yes, they exist and fit your existing lamps!), then added a daddy sleeping with him, then let him sleep in Clay's bottom bunk, then he crawled up and slept with Clay on Saturday, then he pushed Mary Claire out of her bed last night, and I found her on the floor this morning!
We've now set back up the crib, in high hopes that at least one of us will get some decent sleep. He has yet to sleep in it, but we're trying. He didn't have a nap today-he kept going through his bathroom to Mary Claire's room, then he locked himself in Clay's room. Yes, horrible. Did I fear? No, I stood thinking and saw Opportunity Knocking. Let's see. What is nap time for? Two things. One: to give Mommies a break and time to get some things done (or nap if they've had too many hours on their feet outside pulling the wagon and chasing a toddler down a hill!). And two: to help the little angel get some rest so he makes it through the rest of the day in a good mood. So, it's to help us all get in a better mood. Well. If I got some stuff done while he was locked in there (self-inflicted, of course, since the lock is on the inside), who am I to barge in and ruin his good time? I let him stay (and he MiGhT have slept), and I got some work done and phone calls made! So, one bird with one stone is not too shabby.
It was not a horrible decision as now he's sleeping like a baby in his bed (since he's so darn exhausted!). I can't say it was an easy bedtime, but he's asleep. We did the same routine as nap: three stories/books, prayers, five songs worth of backrubbing, and then I told him I had to go night-night (in my own bed). He screamed at this earlier today, but tonight went back to lay down (small cheer for No Screaming!). But then. I went downstairs, and Mary Claire came right down: he was in her bedroom! Then it was Clay! I went back up, told him to get in bed and lay down, stood by his door, and kept looking in and standing guard. Every time I saw him sitting up, I told him to lay down. Eventually, he fell asleep (9pm). This is better than last night, or even nap, so I am thankful. It's progress, and any is good.
Well, we are minus 5 flu shots/mists, and minus some hair! We did not get flu shots and/or mists as planned. Our pediatric clinic wouldn't make us appointments for them. They said we cold leave a message for a nurse, and we did. The nurse told us the same thing, and said we could make an appointment and plead our case with a doctor (for Mary Claire's health). We've always been in the first round (for her). So, it does feel weird to be on the outside. I did call Target (and they have flu shots) and Collier's (and they won't have any till mid October). I can't believe we can't go to our doctors! Ches did find some flumist at the student health center, but he's scared to go there since he could catch something while he's there! Lucky duck, they have the flumist there! I asked him to see if I could go as a spouse, but he doesn't think so.
And we are minus some hair as the kids got their hair (hairs?) cut on Thursday. Clay is just shorter, but Mary Claire decided to really cut her hair! It is at her shoulders, where she requested, and so cute. I didn't even put a bow in it today (shock, shock!!). It looks very nice down or in a headband (which we've only invested in three, maybe?). I don't truly think I can resist, but we'll see.
Clay's practice was practically rained out, but he still had batting practice yesterday!
Today the kids didn't have school for inservice, so it was a nice day off, with no games! This morning I got all the sheets changed, worked on laundry and changing out the new dishes I got a couple weeks ago! I'm still not finshed, but there were so many to wash, and I just couldn't eat off of dusty-looking dishes! And then I had to clean out the cabinets, rearrange the cups, throw away the ones, move dishes around since the bowls were different... heehee, a good problem! : ) Then I had a late (after 1!) lunch with Jenifer since Ches had a conference call with the CDC (that kept getting moved later and later...). He had me bring him home some spaghetti and lasagna to eat to get ready for tomorrow! Then we had a playdate at Kendra's house. She's painting a cute cabinet all different colors-her "funky" cabinet. AdOrAbLe! She wanted my advice, although she already has a great start! I'm sure it'll be awesome when she'd done!
Then we ran out for a quick dinner and picked up Ches' number for the Tour de Cure. He got a great goody bag that was passed around the van-and totally got skimmed on the way around! I got a new thin Sharpie pen in orange, and the kids picked out the little goodies. He's ready. He laid out some jerseys trying to decide what to wear tomorrow. It's going to be around 48 degrees in the morning, but up in the 70's by the time he finishes! He decided on a short sleeve jersey with some "arm-warmers" he can strip off halfway. We crafted this lovely invention out of some baseball socks that Clay doesn't like. They go up to Clay's thighs, and he can't stand them, but they were perfect for Ches! We cut out the toes, and his elbows fit in the knee bends. I think they'll help. He is wearing short pants since his legs will be generating so much heat! He said he was going to bed early tonight, but it has yet to happen. Eleven will be early for him!
I will be getting everyone ready alone tomorrow. We need to be at the ball field by 10 (if we skip the soccer game-which I just can't add to my list tomorrow). Clay has two baseball games: a 10:45 game and a 1:45 game. I think Ches will be finishing up between 1 and 1:45, so I'm not sure how we'll work out seeing him at the finish! We'll meet up with him afterwards, but it might be after he's cooled off and eaten. I feel bad when I can't be in more than one place at a time. God's hardest job calling: a mom. You have to accept Good Enough when you want to be so much more! There just aren't enough hours in a day. : P Sometimes I think if I go-go-go all day, I can get more in, but then I'm just T-I-R-E-D!
Oh, and the latest, is Ethan, and his Non-Sleeping. And his fear of his room. He screams and says he's scared. Or, "Scary!!" We are coping, but we are trying hard not to set up impossible standards and problems to get out of later. Ches laid in bed with him last night until he fell asleep, but we can't get into a habit. He never took a nap today, so he went to sleep pretty quickly tonight, but we bought 15 watt bulbs, and put one in his lamp on his nightstand and left it on. He has already woken once, but I went right up (and he was shaking!), and he fell asleep within a minute or two. It'll be a long night.
And Mary Claire is running low. Since Ches is "going to bed early", I'll need to stay up to check her. Lows are scarier than highs. Tomorrow night is our Silent Auction, and the kids will be with a babysitter. I just pray it all goes well. I'll be in close contact, but it seems like things haven't been so predictable lately. I'm sure the biggest is Ethan's bed change!
I'm remembering. . .
Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything; tell God your needs, and don't forget to thank Him for His answers. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand. His peace will keep your thoughts and your hearts quiet and at rest as you trust in Christ. Philippians 4:6-7
I've had emotional days. Maybe the tremendous stress, maybe that return of my big fat circle (period). Maybe emotional bubbles rising to the top. I'm a big ol' shaken up Coke bottle. I'm working through it. I can see sunshine through it all, so it's all good.
I found a new song today (or rediscovered an old one). It brings tears and joy to my heart. All at the same time. (It's down below on my playlist, at number 84, if you want to share in my tear-fest.) I think it's the memories pulled up by hearing it-memories of childhood hearing it at church, memories of my mom singing it in the car, the memory of it at my grandmother's funeral last year on my birthday. Just thinking about the sweet angels who've left our company much too soon. Hallelujah that they are rejoicing and singing at the feet of Jesus.
: ) We'll be there one day.
I've joined the ranks of a few million others as I bought an iPhone last week. It was the usual learning curve: first, you aren't sure you even like it, then figure out how to use it, and it grows on you..finally, you are downloading applications like there's no tomorrow. "There's an app for that!" is their slogan, and they are not joking. You can't even just "shop", you have to know what you are looking for to find one. I found some that are for making grocery lists, and they remember the order you check off things, and order them by store, so they'll be in the right order next time you shop there. I found one to use to look up carb counts for foods (but found out Ches had already bought it!), games for the kids to play-even practice drawing letters, a flashlight, level, famous quotes, books that are stored on your phone, just amazing things. I'm still learning, but at least I can make and receive calls. It's a start.
I also added service back to my old phone. I am keeping it to share our minutes and send with the kids when they are away from us. I haven't told them it's theirs, but it's available. When Mary Claire is away from us, it really scares me, and I need her to be able to contact me as soon as possible. I want her to have confidence alone, and know I'm only a phone call away. She's done extremely well, but you never know. I can't let my guard down. And I've learned I can't do it all and be everywhere at once.
I didn't listen to a sweet friend who told me their mistake after they miscarried. I was _______ (insert polite word for stupid). I am taking dinner to a family that just had a baby last week. I've worked on it all morning, and I know they need help (a baby does zap your energy, and it's their third), and so many people prepared meals for me, and I absolutely loved not having to worry about dinner on those days. So I put my name on the list. I just wonder if it was not a good idea. I'm digitizing the baby's name to monogram a blanket and cloth diaper for a gift. I just can't go make it. Maybe I'm just tired or lazy. I'll do it.
I had started an art piece (part acrylic, part collage-scrapbook-y looking) for the Silent Auction this weekend, but I don't know if I'll finish it either. (What's with me?) I wasn't happy with it so far, so I just took a break. I might finish it, but I have to add more. I think I was partly making it for me-big J (for Jones), and scripture to fit around the J (with the J for Jesus), and I thought I'd auction off a custom one for the winner, but then I thought I'd just auction this one, and make me another one...or I'd be sure I win the auction, and the church would get the money. See? I'm even confused writing about it! I am just in slow motion.
We are going to get our flu shots/flu mist this evening (it's our plan). We've called all over looking for the flumist, and found it at our kids' pediatric office. We'll make Ethan an appointment, and we'll get it too while we're there. Clay and Mary Claire are scheduled to get it at school on November 9th, but I don't know if it'll be soon enough, and I'm willing to pay for them to get the flumist this year. It has all three of the flu strains, and the vaccine only has the one they expect to be the worst for his year. It's also good for a year rather than 3 months. I want to get it when I'm not pregnant since I'm, number one, fearful of needles, and number two, have fears of anything coming into my body if I'm pregnant. I still won't give up the toxoplasmosis thing. I'm trying to let it go, really.
Today, hug your sweeties, then let them fly away : )
I have to tell you my heart is renewed (broken then mended by the hands of God). I read yesterday about a mom that a friend knows, Katie (check out her blog if you are prepared to cry your heart out and get on your knees in prayer for her). I have read back in time on her blog, and feel so blessed to just be where I'm at right at this moment. Her daughter, who lived for two precious days on earth (and thankfully, Eternity with God) paid the price for my repentent and thankful heart (as she says). Oh to know that your child accomplished God's purpose for them in only two days. God is still reaping from her tiny, precious life. This was recent (in August), not long before I miscarried, so I guess I can also draw parallels.
I can't imagine carrying a baby to term, having a room prepared (and a closet full of pink clothes-as I did with Ethan and had to return/exchange them), and not coming home with a sweet-smelling new baby. I didn't have the time to do that, and I am actually almost thankful-I don't know if I could have handled it as gracefully (and I do mean Full of Grace) as she has. God has given us each gifts, and mine may not include fortitude.
We have decided to try one more time. If it doesn't go well, I'm not sure we'll have any more babies of our own. It is a hard thing to go through, and it's almost a lonely road. The kids are still praying daily for a healthy baby girl (I promise-I don't bring it up at all!). They request to pray for "her" every morning! If only we could be more like little children. So full of faith. We do pray for her, and it breaks my heart every morning. Only God knows what He has planned for those that love Him. (1 Corinthians 2:9)
We did have our full day yesterday (games, Brownie Day, date night) and kids' PRE, church, and batting practice today. We are all so tired. It seems like we can't wait for Friday to get here, then by Sunday we are ready to return to the easier schedule of school. It has to slow down as some point, doesn't it? We did get to sit outside for a little while before dinner (and took some sweet pictures of Ethan chasing leaves!) and Ches swam with the kids after dinner while I cleaned up all our sweet and sour chicken and sticky rice! We've switched to brown rice, but it still sticks to the table, the kids' clothes, and the floor-so gross. And I thought the worst was grated cheese all over the floor. (followed closely by Rice Krispies since they dry and BOND with the floor!). And as I cleaned all the ick, I was thanking God for kids to dirty my house, and kids to clean up after-really. Sometimes we all just need a reality check.
Next Saturday is Ches' big ride: the Tour de Cure for ADA. He rode another 100 miles on Friday to get ready. He tried to ride most of the route-it's harder this year with Hogeye and down towards Devil's Den included: many more hills! He's pushing tons of carb boosters out on the road, and stops in to get a big drink with ice halfway (I don't know if he'll take the time during the race?). Then when he gets home, he starts eating to recover the minimum 5000 calories he'd burned. I noticed he looked thinner, and he said he'd lost five pounds that day! He does NOT have it to lose! : P I had made some beef stew (since he craves meat and veggies when he gets home after all that sugar!), and he had two bowls, then he even drove to McDonald's to get a Big Mac (which we just don't do!) and a drink to add to his calories. Just Imagine. Eating all you want because you NEED the calories. Mind boggling.
Next weekend will be equally busy with our International Dinner and Silent Auction for our church building fund, the Tour, and Clay's games. I also told precious little Isabella she could come play (even if that means tagging along to our games!). She's a doll, and the kids just adore her. She can be our "borrowed-adopted" daughter while we wait to see what God has in store for us!
See? I'm even more thankful for my friends' precious children. Thank you, God, for teaching us even through pain. God meant it for good (Genesis 50:20).
